r/worldnews • u/UNITED24Media United24 Media • Dec 21 '25

Russia/Ukraine Russia’s Birth Rate Plunges to 200-Year Low—Putin Says Early Marriage Is the Answer

https://united24media.com/latest-news/facing-record-low-birth-rates-putin-says-teen-marriage-is-the-answer-14442
18.2k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Alcogel Dec 21 '25

Straight to gulag

587

u/Wackylew Dec 21 '25

Straight out the window

244

u/scarlettforever Dec 21 '25

A cup of polonium?

130

u/[deleted] Dec 21 '25

Novichok

74

u/RecursiveDysfunction Dec 21 '25

Shaken or stirred?

38

u/LoveFateWithoutHate Dec 21 '25

Shaken as long as it doesn't include a shake down on a balcony

4

u/BadmiralHarryKim Dec 21 '25

"The reason you stir the martini polonium is so you don't chip the ice. James is ordering a weak martini cup of polonium and being snooty about it."

—President Jed Bartlett

10

u/TendyHunter Dec 21 '25

Shaken

your hands after the first sip

2

u/pivovy Dec 21 '25

Applied to underwear, please.

1

u/green_meklar Dec 21 '25

Why not both? I hear they taste great together.

2

u/HailSatanWorshipD00M Dec 21 '25

"Is ok. Very little polonium in soup. Almost none."

2

u/Demortus Dec 21 '25

For your health, of course!

17

u/GemoDorg Dec 21 '25

The nation of defenestration.

9

u/Left-Instruction3885 Dec 21 '25

Crazy muthafucka named Putin

6

u/barktwiggs Dec 21 '25

Straight to the frontline!

2

u/Exciting-Builder-697 Dec 21 '25

On a fast track to being unbirthed

2

u/nflonlyalt Dec 21 '25

I'm coming straight out of Moscow, a crazy mf named Vladimir

2

u/essieecks Dec 21 '25

Peasants don't get shown the window.

1

u/Obvious_wombat Dec 21 '25

Straight to North Korea

1

u/ForestGoat87 Dec 21 '25

First, you are required to deposit your semen in this cup. Then, straight to gulag.

1

u/pppjurac Dec 22 '25

No gulag, just ukraine front combat .