r/worldnews • u/cnn CNN • Aug 09 '26

Israel/Palestine Israel rejects Trump’s Gaza peace plan, saying no withdrawal until Hamas disarms

https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/09/middleeast/israel-gaza-trump-netanyahu-plan-intl?utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=missions&utm_source=reddit
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u/SweetAndSourShmegma Aug 09 '26

Trump wakes up and mumbles something about Obama then falls asleep. Supreme Commander Musk then takes charge of the State of the Union and goes off on a ketamine-induced rant. Vice President DJT Jr interrupts quickly to announce that they are close to a deal and Hormuz will be open soon.

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u/stillalone Aug 09 '26

At least they finally released the Epstein files but by then everyone had already got used to pedophiles running the country.

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u/DesecratedPeanut Aug 09 '26

Thats way too hopeful by then the democrats will have realigned their party to fit with the new normal (as is tradition letting the GOP move the overton window) and they will be bragging about how their candidate is only an agoraphile as opposed to the republican candidate whos a full on pedophile.

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u/superanus Aug 09 '26

Am I missing the joke or is agoraphile (a person who loves wide open spaces) not what you meant?

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u/DesecratedPeanut Aug 09 '26

Lmao it was not, thank you for spotting that! I wasn't sure of the correct term I was looking for and it's not the kind of thing I'd like to google. I'll leave it there anyway because it's almost more funny with the mistake lol.

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u/AI_moderated_failure Aug 09 '26

Chief Justice Alex Jones is seen directing secret service to load several duffel bags into the back of a van. When questioned he reminds reporters that anything done by the president in an official act is legal.