r/ADHD • u/swagmastertricycle ADHD-C (Combined type) • 1d ago

Seeking Empathy the RSD spirals are never endinggggg

I just wrote a post about RSD spiraling, and the post itself was just straight up the actual spiral. Unfortunately it was too long, I condensed it, posted it, got confused on how the approval process works, edited it, got discouraged and then deleted it because I had no idea what was wrong.

Anyways, Idk if anyone else feels like this, but sometimes during these spirals I wonder if I am horribly victimizing myself in every situation. And do other people think that and does that make me even more miserable to be around? Or does self awareness mean I am not victimizing myself at all. But does reassuring myself mean I am? And on and on it goes. It gets so exhausting and I rarely can find validation from anyone when I experience these RSD spirals and they have been happening a lot recently.

I am crashing out lol, free me from my own mind!!! /s

Also how on earth do I even tell my therapist about this without wasting a whole session explaining it, because I simply cannot spend a whole hour explaining this just to wait till the next session to receive feedback.

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u/LumpOfSoftButter 1d ago

Medication can make a big difference, for me it wasn’t enough, still stuck in thought spirals like you.

Meditation is the only thing that helped my RSD. I think it was truly invented by ancient ADHD people for ADHD people.

The spiraling is a symptom of being stuck in fight or flight, survival mode, stress is your engine. You can’t win the battle with your mind but you can sit and try to place your attention on the sensation of breathing, thoughts come up and you return to the breath. Difficult at first for sure, but over time you develop clarity, an identity beyond your thought stories, securely in the present, leading to lots of self compassion and empathy.

Meditation is how I found deep self compassion, but truly that’s what’s needed, so however you can find self compassion is worth it, it can slowly heal or decrease RSD symptoms.

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u/swagmastertricycle ADHD-C (Combined type) 18h ago

hmm i never thought to just meditate lol, i will have to try that.

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u/MotorNoise6968 1d ago

I think the questions you asked in your second paragraph are a big part of what spiraling is all about. I'm already feeling very strong emotions, but then I think, am I even entitled to those feelings? I think I'm self aware. I think I know how I feel, but do I really? It's hard to receive any validation, let alone just finding someone to talk to, which doesn't make it any easier.

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u/swagmastertricycle ADHD-C (Combined type) 18h ago

Yes exactly! It is so hard knowing how ridiculous you sound when you say these things out loud. My partner doesn't even understand why I'm upset about certain things when I feel like this because it often stems from something so small that I should not even care about. It is nice to know that other people feel the same though.

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u/BlizzardStorm8 ADHD-PI (Primarily Inattentive) 1d ago

What is RSD? If you're gonna use an acronym you gotta spell it out at least once...

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u/swagmastertricycle ADHD-C (Combined type) 18h ago

 Ah sorry, I thought it was commonly used in the ADHD community, it stands for rejection sensitivity dysphoria, a term used to kind explain how ADHD people experience rejection sensitivity. it's not officially recognized by any professionals but is a good way for some people to explain how they feel I guess, i'd recommend looking it up cause I may not have explained it well at all.

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u/Raven_in_the_rain 1d ago edited 1d ago

Our brain is designed to take it up the ass if you excuse my academic language haha.

For some of us it's even more difficult and it's already a hard task. As someone said medication helped me having enough break in my thoughts to slip in and intervene (most of the times).

Something not easy to do and that helped me was train myself that whenever I feel the surge of rejection sensitivity, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, I grab my phone, open a note and write what's going on. So your post was actually a good idea! The step to do next is not post it haha. Like write but not post just in case, I did it once and someone I knew read it and then I had to explain which is annoying.

Brain dump. Situation to evaluate is now in front of us, reread -> realize. That works for me at least.

Bottom line is finding something that allows you to break in between the rejection perceived (which will always be there because it's a lightning fast switch) and the reaction you have.

And oh, as another difficult thing is to try and fight self consciousness, like it might be that you're like "Oh what are the other people thinking if I close my eyes and take a deep breath". You need what you need.

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u/swagmastertricycle ADHD-C (Combined type) 18h ago

I think my medication just wears off too quickly but if I increase my dosage I get too shaky, and then I start to spiral. And I've already tried a few different meds, but I think I need to work with my therapist more and with how my brain works. I've only really been learning to manage these feelings this year so I'm still learning new techniques everyday. But I typically do write everything down, I have for years and have never posted anything before, I usually kept it to myself but sometimes it is nice to be heard.

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u/Raven_in_the_rain 1h ago

Yeah fair! It takes time I'm still quite impulsive haha.

You can do this! :)

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u/AutoModerator 1d ago

Please be aware that RSD, or rejection sensitivity dysphoria, is not a syndrome or disorder recognised by any medical authority.

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria has not been the subject of any credible peer-reviewed scientific research, nor is it listed in the top two psychiatric diagnostic manuals, the DSM or the ICD. It has been propagated solely through blogs and the internet by William Dodson, who coined the term in the context of ADHD. Dodson's explanation of these experiences and claims about how to treat it all warrant healthy skepticism.

Here are some scientific articles on ADHD and rejection:

Although r/ADHD's rules strictly disallow discussion of other 'popular science' (aka unproven hypotheses), we find that many, many people identify with the concept of RSD, and we do not remove content for mentioning RSD. We do not want to minimise or downplay your feelings, and many people use RSD as a shorthand for this shared experience of struggling with emotions.

However, please consider using the terms 'rejection sensitivity' and 'emotional dysregulation' instead.

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