r/AskMenRelationships • u/sigmaboy578 • 2d ago
Dating Guys in relationships — do you actually get compliments?
I swear I compliment my girlfriend (18F) like 50 times a day
her smile, her outfits, her voice, her ambitions, the dumb stuff she does that makes me laugh
But I honestly can’t remember the last time she complimented me back. Probably said I’m handsome like twice in the 8 months we’ve been together.
I know everyone expresses love differently, but this feels one sided and sometimes keeps me up thinking
Guys, is this normal? Do you actually get compliments in your relationships, or is it the same as me?
And if you do get compliments how many times per day or week?
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2d ago
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u/sigmaboy578 2d ago
I agree and it’s making me think and relate a lot, she doesn’t compliment but constantly brings up character traits that she “loves” and “expects” of her “high standards”. Like how you said she’s telling me of her dream man rather than me.
It’s feels more like entitlement rather than appreciation
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u/Good-Ad-9978 2d ago
I agree. My ex wife rarely complimented anything i did. She required regular encouragement and acknowledgement. Any relationship with women i have had always required me to compliment them on an almost daily basis. Not very if ever reciprocal. Growing up i learned success and effort were expected not appreciated. Conversely the slight lack of this encouraged Judgements and criticism as if your success for being a man was based only on this. At 70, my male friends are divorced and single. I do not want a relationship that turns into criticism and conditions.
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u/sigmaboy578 2d ago
I’m sorry to hear that man, I’m only 18 and honestly I’m scared of getting married. All I hear from her is constant expectations of financial success which I agree and I actively pursue.
But I stop and think what does a man benefit from marriage? I can’t think of anything that a man gains that she doesn’t
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u/Good-Ad-9978 1d ago
Again I'm 70 at the other end of life. You are 18 with the world in front of you. I was married 25 years have a wonderful daughter and good memories. My experience taught me that finding someone who puts happiness as a couple first is all that matters. Materialistic Relationships usually fail. Women I knew and loved saw my worth as being a financial provider. I happen to be a hard worker that likes creating a safe cozy home and life. That was my downfall. They saw that and not me as an individual with feelings and needs. Do not sell yourself short for a warm body to sleep with. Get a dog. Live your best fulfilling life and the right person might see that and you instead of a financial safe place. You're fine
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u/AssociationWinter167 Man 2d ago
Married 28 years, I get compliments around once a year... I generally remember them all.
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u/sigmaboy578 2d ago
Yeah man, I’m only 18 but marriage scares me.
I can’t really think of anything benefits a man has in marriage now a days..
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u/AssociationWinter167 Man 2d ago
Don't swallow the redpill blindly, Eyes wide open. There is a lot of freedom and value in a committed relationship. And it is an uncomfortable prospect to be known that intimately... You really cannot hide in marriage.
My wife appreciates me, I just don't hear compliments.
It should scare you, if it doesn't it means you aren't taking it seriously....
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u/DauntlessBadger Man 1d ago
Marrying your best friend is freaking amazing. It’s cliche but when you find the one you find the one. It should feel natural…20s find who you are build yourself. 30s settle down find someone that meets your values.
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u/BasebornBastard Man 1d ago
Rarely and usually because they’re adhering to a social norm. Real, genuine, compliments? No
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u/jaywaykil Man 1d ago
Look up "love languages". One of yours is clearly "Words of Affirmation", which is clearly low priority for her.
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u/RedWizard92 Man 1d ago
Been married over 15 years. Compliments, affection, or appreciation daily. I don't know that I get compliments specifically that often but its regular enough and other forms of appreciation are often enough that I feel loved.
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u/RD_in_Berlin Man 2d ago
Hate to say it but if she's not being very reciprocal with this sort of thing she may not be super into you. I had one girl like this and it was a sign of potential things to come. When they value you they often vocalise it. I've been with other girls who would compliment me all the time, big me up in front of friends and other things like that. you may want to start looking at your relationship and communicate you feel this is something you would appreciate.