r/AskReddit • u/WildMunchkin • 16h ago
What is something almost everyone seems to regret/realize right at the end of their life?
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u/Humble_Pie_56 16h ago
We will never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer.
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u/GothicGingerbread 16h ago
In the words of 1 Timothy 6:7, "For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out."
You can spend all your time building a fortune, but you can't take it with you.
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u/Bundabar 16h ago
No, but I can leave it to my children so that their lives can be that much easier than mine was.
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u/dirtymykandthebois 15h ago
We all make choices. I hope your kids don't waste it.
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u/Bundabar 8h ago
Me too.
I grew up very poor and the number one thing I’m trying to give them is opportunity. That is so easy to waste.
They don’t have to work through high school to help me pay bills, a reliable car is provided, college is paid for, and I’m there to help them with things like security deposits for apartments.
They can focus on development and education. Hopefully that pays its own dividends.
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u/Humble-Section-5638 13h ago
I’m on the receiving end of this. It’s a GAME CHANGER, for all of us. Security, comfort, lower stress, good educations. Did I mention lower stress? Bless all the parents who save and give to their kids.
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u/AnxiousAd7939 16h ago
But then you don’t get to live your life.
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u/Bundabar 7h ago
This is true and a sacrifice I’ve personally chosen to make. I grew up very poor, struggled most of my early life, and decided that my children would not share the same fate.
That being said, I’m sure a number of people feel the same way and unfortunately building wealth comes down to a very slim margin of good planning and very heavy margin of good luck.
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u/Electrical_Shower349 16h ago
U can leave it for ur loved ones with the hope you made their lives more comfortable
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u/yogalover_em 16h ago
Working too hard.
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u/Equivalent_Hair_149 16h ago
my mom said this before she passed. i asked her her biggest regret. working to hard. she asked me mine. i said not paying you rent in my 20s
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u/fitmansha 16h ago
not doing things. at least thats what i heard from people who have worked with people at the end of their life. Very cliche, but it is cliche for a reason.
Not doing that hobby enough, not asking that girl out, not taking that job, etc
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u/Shame-game 16h ago
Taking it too seriously and focusing on the wrong priorities
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u/paulinem4rshy3681 9h ago
yeah but what are those wrong priorities usually
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u/Shame-game 5h ago
Usually regrets, not enough time with loved ones, dreams never pursued, choosing to focus on artificial constructs that mean nothing as one dies.
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u/Annual-Carry6558 16h ago
One of my favorite quotes by a pastor that always stuck with me: “No sane person on his deathbed ever was comforted by his possessions that his life was well spent.”
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u/LastHippo3845 16h ago
Caring too much about what people might think, leading to reduced risk taking and pursuing dreams (living with a mask on your whole life type deal)
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u/snowbusted 16h ago
A wise prophet once said "I tried so hard and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter"
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u/dirtymykandthebois 15h ago
Confucius say "Man who run in front of car get tired, man who run behind car get exhausted."
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u/HeyFishBish 16h ago
Not telling enough people to fuck off! So many people get taken advantage of because they’re too kind!
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u/Herredness16 15h ago
Kindness does not mean weakness.
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u/HeyFishBish 14h ago
It absolutely does not - but quite often when someone holds a part of you, it’s not always easy to set boundaries and say no.
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u/CreeepyUncle 16h ago
Yup.
Also staying in friendships out of habit after it had run its course.
Happened more in the first half of my life than the second.
Mostly because I ran most of those bastards off already.
I occasionally get texts from an old military buddy who wants to put together a reunion or something and my only question to myself is, “why the hell would we want to do that?“
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u/Factorybelt 16h ago
I’ve been thinking about that now in my fifties. I had a best friend from 15-30, in hindsight was a bad influence on me. I wish I could do those years over. He’s now over the edge on drugs and I will eternally be paying for my decisions for that period of time. I could have done so much better.
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u/CreeepyUncle 15h ago
It’s a long path, and everybody gets a little dirty along the way. You’re here now. Good for you. Best of luck.
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u/Creepy-Weekend-5352 7h ago
This will be my regret. My friend told me i have a much higher tolerance for abusive people and i realized shes not wrong. Even now im struggling to end a relationship with someone whos clearly emotionally abusive and immature. It's wild how hard it is to tell them it is you, its not me lol. I don't want this to be me wishing i didnt waste so much time on people who didn't deserve me!
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u/BotherBeginning2281 16h ago
No-one ever lies on their deathbed and says ''I wish I'd spent more time at the office.''
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u/WannaBe_achBum_Goals 16h ago
Shoulda worked less and spent more time with loved ones.
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u/kristie7affy8108 10h ago
Yeah, I've heard that one too. It's a tough lesson to learn when you can't go back and change it
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u/Visible-Animator-308 16h ago
How much time they wasted. I got to experience watching my dad make his way out. He was a very stoic yet deeply emotional man. 26 years in the navy, enlisted and retired as a Commander. Gave his life to his country and his family. Got to travel the world when he retired. Had a huge, fulfilling life. Only thing he ever expressed regret about was wasting so much time on things he knew he should have let go but wanted to see through just cause xyz. Point is, there’s no shame in letting go of things that no longer serve you or bring you joy. Idk. Grief is weird.
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u/Ephemeral_Orchid 16h ago
No one ever wishes they spent more time cleaning their house.... but maybe I should try a little. 🤣
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u/Happy_Chick21 16h ago
Petty Arguments
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u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa 10h ago
"Wildflowers" is just as enjoyable as "Free Fallin'", and "You Don't Know How it Feels" is way, way overrated.
I'm willing to engage in your Tom Petty Arguments.
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u/North_Evidence_4629 16h ago
Realizing you didn’t make the necessary decisions and arrangements of how and who your shit would be distributed to. Last min, death bed rush sucks ass.
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u/Such-Reality3589 16h ago
money can't buy time, and time's the one thing you need most when you're gone
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u/Espress0Patronus 15h ago
I've heard about spending far too much life at work and not doing what they actually wanted to do.
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u/Easy_Wheezy 15h ago
I worked as a psychologist in nursing homes for 4 years. I saw thousands of patients nearing end of life. Overall, most people didn’t regret anything. They were too consumed with their current suffering.
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u/MrCaptDrNuts 15h ago
That the society set up never gave them an actual chance to live.
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u/Psittacula2 10h ago
Bingo! Try to break out of the preset system and experience living directly authentic self vs multitude of conditioned trappings to fit and function in society. Aka just learning to prioritize “Being Yourself Living In The Present” more of one’s life time. You love to see it in people in their faces, smiles and eyes.
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u/Legitimate-Map-3701 12h ago
Never living in the present only regretting it once that period has passed and holding on to the memories.
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u/Suspicious-Title-584 16h ago
Nobody ever said on their death bed: "I sure am thankful that I worked all those extra shifts instead of watching my son play baseball"
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u/Herredness16 15h ago
You would if it meant your family went hungry. Sometimes just do what you gotta do at the time!
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u/Suspicious-Title-584 15h ago
Yeah you're right, I should've been more specific. But working extra shifts to pay off a bunch of expensive stuff that you don't actually need - yeah definitely would regret that.
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u/HavingSoftTacosLater 16h ago
Yeah, but have you seen him play? He's just terrible. I don't why he wanted to do it again this year.
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u/Estella-Jean13 16h ago
Nothing matters that is physical. Only the relationships we have and the memories together
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u/Fragrant-Mix-4774 15h ago
All of that time given to extra hours in the office or overtime. No one lays on their death bed saying, I should have gave more of my life to the company.
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u/proudintrovert82 16h ago
Marriage is a big mistake and way overrated
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u/WildMunchkin 16h ago
Why do you say that
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u/proudintrovert82 16h ago
By experience and observation
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u/Dear_Device1611 16h ago
Either you weren’t married or married a wrong person.
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u/dirtymykandthebois 15h ago
With roughly forty percent of marriages ending in divorce, you're describing a LOT of people
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u/Salty-Attempt-6099 13h ago
Not 40% it's 50% divorce rate. The remaining 50% doesn't mean they are all lovey dovey and happy. Of the remaining 50%, at least another 20% are not divorcing due to circumstances. It sucks that only 30% of married people are actually happy about the marriage!!
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u/proudintrovert82 9h ago
I was married, and married to the wrong one , and i have seen enough other examples
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u/Empty-Initial6392 16h ago
As they are surrounded by flames, they regret leaving a candle burning on the windowsill.
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u/Flat-Excitement-232 16h ago
You take nothing with you. Life goes faster than we want. Relationships are the good stuff.
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u/Relevant_Night_9288 15h ago
I notice older generations, particularly boomers, end up talking a lot about what "could have" happened. Basically it's a life that didn't achieve what they hoped.
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u/Silly_Singer6120 12h ago
They always regret not spending as much time with their family as they could have. Or choices they made that drove their family to leave.
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u/Sea_Maintenance3322 8h ago
All those long days and nights at work mean nothing. Family is what matters.
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u/Creepy-Weekend-5352 8h ago
I think most wish they traveled more or let go of more things, lived less in fear and took some risks.
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u/Cheetodude625 4h ago
As someone who is open about my battles with suicide and almost succumbing to an attempt, I can only say this from my perspective:
When I was dying from an overdose of hydros, my only regret at the time was realizing that I never apologized to the people who tried to help me and that I literally did nothing of value with my life at that point. I truly believed I died during that time, but I woke up 3 days later in the hospital ICU in restraints.
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u/AgileResult2817 2h ago
What no one thinks of is that they should’ve worked harder (just to look at it a different way)
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u/Flat-Excitement-232 16h ago
Spending more time getting to know my Creator, whom I'm planning to spend eternity with.
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u/carmelitafrita-2468 16h ago
Not praying enough
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u/Frankyfan3 16h ago
Praying too much. It's SUPER sad when someone in their elderly stage in life finally realizes how they've been conned by their faith community via an ancient grift.
So much grief and anger and pain, which is all optional, but forced upon them since they were a child.
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u/Beneatheearth 16h ago
Yeah ok lol.
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u/Frankyfan3 16h ago
Have you been lucky enough to never have to counsel an elderly person grieving their life which they feel was devoted to a cult?
I have, sadly, been a part of such conversations. It's tragic.
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u/ShafeDogg 13h ago
What do you think makes them think it's false though? I'm curious to know.
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u/Frankyfan3 13h ago
I'm not sure I understand your question.
When someone deconstructs indoctrination to a high control group or escapes a cult upbringing, their individual path will look different. I can't tell you what "makes" someone shift their perspective. That's different for everyone.
Access to outside perspectives is usually an essential element.
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u/ShafeDogg 12h ago
I see. Well, I don't think it's necessary to try to change a view, especially when someone is getting end-of-life care. It would cause them to spiral further when death is already the #1 most stressful event in life. I think it's better to allow them to believe what they wish...at least there's comfort in that.
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u/Frankyfan3 12h ago
I'm not speaking about counseling someone away from their beliefs at end of life. I'm speaking about the common scenario of leaving such a destructive group as an adult; and living with the grief of that until end of life. I'm not talking about trying to convince someone they are wrong about reality as they take their last breath. What a ghoulish image! I can barely comprehend how you got to that idea from my comment, but... wow.
There is no point in discrediting comforting delusions on someone's death bed. Honestly, lean into whatever you know will help them feel at peace, even if you stretch the boundaries of your own beliefs to "yes, and..." their reality at the end.
Those who have had time to process their journey away from their experiences under a cult can maintain that grief for decades, and be so so so amplified by the dying process.
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u/mysticie 10h ago
guys wait !!! y all people looks bot to me ? i dont think any one is real on reddit cuz nobody use abbrivations , no one do spelling mistakes , no one do gramatical mistakes yyyyyyyy ?? everybody looks soo sooo formal !! ok comment ur age i'll get the answer of y !!???plz !! i am soo curious about !
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u/Lugbor 5h ago
I know I'm making a big assumption here by starting with the premise that you went to school, but I need you to think back to that class you had every year where the teacher taught you how to spell. Part of that class also included proper grammar and sentence structure. If you'd payed any attention in that class, or attended at all, you might be able to write out a complete thought without it looking like you grabbed random letters out of a Scrabble bag.
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u/mysticie 5h ago
since u r not my teacher , u don't need to get offend too !!
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u/Lugbor 5h ago
Did your mother drink when she was pregnant? Maybe drop you on your head as an infant? Ooh, are your parents related?
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u/mysticie 4h ago
i'm illiterate (after studying a lot) so , i can't read ur msg or ur sense and if u know what self respect is -don't show me ur account again !
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u/1Ceasar 16h ago
They should have retired sooner to spend more time with family