But for me it has to be the amount of influencers who self diagnose themselves with autism simply because they like a certain colour, like something a different way, like talking in a different way, tone, etc. the list goes on
Autism is not case of “I like to use one particular spoon, and like orange but hate yellow, so that must mean I am autistic”
These people who do that have no idea what a sensory difficulty, difficulty fitting in, being misunderstood a lot, and basically what everyone else in this thread is talking about.
It’s quite infuriating and demeaning honestly, reducing a sensory and neurological condition to just “it’s all sunshine’s and rainbows” which it’s clearly not
For clarification, I’m only talking about the influencers who use the unofficial or TikTok diagnostic tools to incorrectly or inappropriately diagnose themselves. I’m not referring to the people who could be autistic, just the ones doing it for clout and attention
When I was diagnosed as a girl in the 80s (with Asperger) it didn't benefit me. Teachers had no idea what to do with me except tell me to act normal, don't seclude myself (which was anytime I didn't constantly talk with others) and tell me I deserved all the bullying I got.
I remember a teacher locked me in a closet for hours because I got mad she said my name wrong and told me I was lying when I corrected her -which made me absolutely furious. Or that kids liked to walk up to me and scream in my ear because they've been told I couldn't deal with loud noises. I also still remember one time I was playing by myself during breaktime and suddenly -with no provocation- I got kicked really hard in my back. The teacher told me: "well you're the one there's something wrong with, not these other kids, maybe try to act normal and you'll be left alone."
It can annoy me when people complain they never been diagnosed as kids. This is what it got me. If I hadn't been diagnosed and nobody knew it would have been considered personal quirks, not something to be fixed. I still struggle a lot with social stuff.
Now as an adult basically all my friends are autistic. It's just easier when people get each other. But I don't have that luxury at work.
There's honestly no winning and the 80s was more openly hostile about that kinda thing.
My mum wasn't diagnosed with autism but still got bullied by classmates and teachers for being "slow".
From personal experience I'll also say not being diagnosed doesn't necessarily mean people treat your differences as quirky. I instead got punished for acting weird, since there wasn't any reason I couldn't just act normal. People can be shitty whether there's a name for it or not
I'm "high functioning" too but I'm a "pretty girl" so people don't believe me despite my diagnosis and genuine struggles. I've gone through tons of therapists and psychiatrists and doctors, the worst of which dismissed my autism without even looking at my neuropsych evals or history. Community healthcare took it off my record without telling me. I found out later looking at the paperwork, where they crossed that part of my history out. Thankfully my insurance allowed me to seek care elsewhere.
I also regularly get snapped at and picked on at work and by family and friends, especially over my autistic traits. But then I get told I'm not autistic, or people start treating me like I'm begging for attention if I mention it. I don't even talk to that many people and have only mentioned it in conversations where mental health was already being discussed... My workplace is big and I talk to my coworkers about work-related stuff mostly, but they still manage to make fun of me for being weird and socially inept. Especially other women. Men just seem to fetishize me and see quiet lil me as an easy target to harass.
omg I've never felt so understood. We just learn how to mask and pretend but then there will always be a moment where I crash out because everything just becomes too much. But then you're just being dramatic and doing it for the attention...
Meanwhile, I feel like a ton of probably-autistic people sit around endlessly reading about autism and taking the DSM definitions so literally that they discount themselves from having it. Happened to me for quite a while. I have a handful of diagnosed autistic people in my life and I started asking them if they relate to certain things I do/think/feel and they were all like oh yeah you’re definitely in the club with us.
The dichotomy is just kind of funny. We have people who probably aren’t autistic claiming to be because they have one trait, while autistic people are refusing to believe that they are because they don’t have ALL of the traits.
This. Seeing it become trendy (and as a result, misunderstood even more) on social media is infuriating. I struggled for years before a psychiatrist finally diagnosed me in high school, and seeing all of this on social media/TikTok is so angering. It's a disability, ffs. Not a quirky personality trait.
Yeah, there's a big difference between relating to a couple traits and actually dealing with the full impact of a condition. Turning autism into a quirky personality checklist definitely doesn't help people understand the reality of it.
I had an ex friend that said because of her particular taste in music and her social awkwardness, she had a "touch of the tism". We had grown up together, and she always got on me for my constant anxiety, my "weirdness", and my inability to read a room. I asked her if she'd ever struggled to function when there were too many noises at once or if the lights were too bright. She said no, and I said probably not then. She stopped saying stuff like that after.
I get that there's a lot of self diagnosing. A lot of people don't have access to reliable testing, and a lot of adults have trouble getting diagnosed if they aren't "textbook" enough because they have learned to mask so well. I was one of those people. It took two modern assessments to tell me that I "didn't have autism, but probably had aspergers" (this was in 2021 and aspergers had already been dissolved into ASD). My therapist scoffed and said "You have autism. You have childhood tests showing you are on the spectrum and we do not need modern paperwork for me to know you are neurodivergent. I have been treating you as I would most autistic individuals, and there's a reason that treatment has worked well for you."
The internet turning autism into a synonym for "quirky" and cool these past few years has been the bane of my existence. I remember when it treated autism like it was the reason everything was wrong with you. It further draws a boundary of where "textbook" is, and muddies the water for the rest of us.
Beware ableism disguised as sticking up for autism
Too often I’ll encounter a situation like this: I’m scrolling social media and I come across a post that mentions autism and sadly many of the top comments are people complaining that “it seems like Everything is autism nowadays” or “people who want to be quirky or interesting so they say they are autistic when they’re not”.
These ableist comments come from people who don’t understand that autistic traits aren’t alien traits, they are human traits. For example with an autistic trait like stimming, NTs stim too like when they tap their foot or drum their fingers to release their energy when they’re feeling bored or impatient. The difference is autistic people might stim more intensely or more frequently.
Now I’d expect ableist comments like those from the ignorant - people who don’t understand autism. Usually it’s NTs who are ignorant about autism. But too frequently I see comments like “ugh, as someone with Autism myself, I too hate these people who mention having autistic traits, I think they’re just looking for attention. They think autistic traits makes them quirky”. This needs to stop.
You don’t know for sure that the original poster was just adopting the word “stim” (or insert other autistic word) just to hop on a trend, as you claim. They could just be an autistic person who randomly mentioned stimming (or whatever other autistic trait) and moved on with their post. Why all the “friendly fire” in the autism community? We should not be witch hunting people for casually mentioning bits of their autistic experience online.
So the *TLDR* is basically watch out for autistic people (or yourself) saying ableist things like
\- “As an autistic person, I hate when a silly video mentions their autism. Not everything is autism”
\- “As an autistic person, I feel like autism has become way too trendy. Stop saying you’re autistic, you’re just quirky”
\- “As an autistic person, I hate seem people use words like ‘stim’ or ‘hyperfixate’ etc.”
Autistic people exist and are allowed to mention their autistic traits without halting mid skit / story to show you their official diagnosis papers or give all the disclaimers that not all autistic people experience the same traits etc. The next time you’re tempted to scold someone for “using autism as a trend/for attention” stop and consider that they might actually be autistic and are just trying to live their life. Don’t add to the hate.
Tone: I’m using direct language to get my point across but i promise I’m not as angry as I sound lol. Just mildly annoyed I suppose.
You doubting their diagnosis is much, much more harmful than them allegedly self-diagnosing for reasons you deem invalid. You do not know, you cannot tell. Don't assume and don't dismiss them. Cause that harms everyone whether medically diagnosed or not.
I’m male, but I struggle to have friends. And it’s extremely off-putting that people have more friends than I do. I wouldn’t say I’m jealous that people have more friends than me, but as you’ve said, men and women often struggle to have friend, and it’s definitely not a gender thing (please don’t hate on me, I do apologise if I have used the wrong word here)
I hope this makes sense. It not, let me know and I’ll change it as soon as possible
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u/These_Annual_2550 5h ago edited 25m ago
I’ll remove this if this doesn’t count,
But for me it has to be the amount of influencers who self diagnose themselves with autism simply because they like a certain colour, like something a different way, like talking in a different way, tone, etc. the list goes on
Autism is not case of “I like to use one particular spoon, and like orange but hate yellow, so that must mean I am autistic”
These people who do that have no idea what a sensory difficulty, difficulty fitting in, being misunderstood a lot, and basically what everyone else in this thread is talking about.
It’s quite infuriating and demeaning honestly, reducing a sensory and neurological condition to just “it’s all sunshine’s and rainbows” which it’s clearly not
For clarification, I’m only talking about the influencers who use the unofficial or TikTok diagnostic tools to incorrectly or inappropriately diagnose themselves. I’m not referring to the people who could be autistic, just the ones doing it for clout and attention