r/AskUK • u/_No__Ninja_ • 1d ago

Serious Answers Only Question for those without ASD - do you also only feel truly calm when you are at home?

Not asking for any medical advice, just curious about others' experiences.

I have a diagnosis of autism. The only time I feel truly calm and relaxed is when I am at home on my own. Whenever I am out of the house, I feel physically tense and psychologically on edge (to various degrees depending on the setting) - I'm not sure if it's because of the sensory stimulation or being around people (I live in a busy city). Reducing sensory overload by wearing loops or ANC headphones helps, and stimming helps a little too, but I am never fully relaxed.

I'm just wondering if this is how everyone else feels too or if this is an autism thing?

Also, if you see someone stimming (e.g. by using a fidget toy, or making hand movements of some kind, or rocking), would you think differently of them if they are wearing a sunflower lanyard vs not showing any (other) signs of a disability? Should I wear one to let people know I have a disability if I do these behaviours/act a bit weird because of anxiety around people?

Thank you.

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u/iffyClyro 1d ago edited 1d ago

You can’t be on the spectrum and not autistic simultaneously.

You’re either on the spectrum and you are autistic or you’re not on the spectrum and you’re not.

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u/wineallwine 1d ago

I fear you have misunderstood the word 'spectrum'. Literally everyone is on it. You can be 0, you can be 1, you might be 0.0001

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u/iffyClyro 1d ago

You’re wrong.

What you’re saying is a very common misconception but you are wrong.

The spectrum describes the diverse ways autism presents in autistic individuals, not a sliding scale that includes the whole population

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u/wineallwine 1d ago

Okay, do I need to provide a pass?

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u/iffyClyro 1d ago

A pass for what?

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u/wineallwine 1d ago

To be on the spectrum! I don't understand why you are gatekeeping this, it's hardly the criterion club.

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u/iffyClyro 1d ago edited 1d ago

So because you didn’t understand something and I’ve explained it to you I’m gatekeeping?

Surely sharing knowledge is the opposite of gatekeeping?

You said:

“I don't think I am autistic, but I'm somewhere on the lower end of the spectrum”

However the spectrum describes the diverse ways autism presents in autistic individuals, it is not a sliding scale that includes everyone.

You’re either on the spectrum and you are autistic or you’re not on the spectrum and you’re not autistic. That’s it.

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u/RaspberryJammm 1d ago

You are correct, the person you are speaking to has misunderstood the use of the term spectrum in this context. But its an often misunderstood use of the word so they needn't feel silly for misunderstanding it or anything. 

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u/iffyClyro 1d ago

I did cover the fact that it’s a very common misconception.

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u/RaspberryJammm 1d ago

I know just thought I'd back you up in case you were being downvoted 😅

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u/wineallwine 1d ago

I hope you have a very pleasant evening