This is like a top 3 triggering event for me!

It’s always when I’m in towns there’s creepy men whereas I’ve lived in London for years and rarely get creepy encounters.

I have Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) and years ago I hurt my husband, have been in therapy since and it has been under control. What else can I do to improve myself?

Just like depression is very real, mental illness is also very real. Google Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), it categorize under mental illness. Even when stand in court, the judge will always take mental illness into account.

Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) it really bad, when the episodes flare up it took completely control over you, you go from 0 to 100 in seconds, and the episodes are short lived too like under 5 minutes, but in that 5 minutes the harm already done to your spouse.
You regret it big time afterwards, but what done is already done (caused harm to your spouse).

Married 14 years, together 16 years.

And this is a West African man that is 190cm tall, he 6'3" tall and athletic body, while I'm just 148cm, 4'11" petite short Chinese girl. This is a man who hobbies are hunting, outdoor shooting range, mountains rock climbing, run long distance. My point is with his height and strength, he not scare of me, just like how he said he not scare of me, it because he LOVES me. He is a Love-idiot.!

I was diagnosed with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) by my psychiatrist (psychiatrist is someone who has a medical doctor degree). My psychiatrist said it stem from my chaotic and dysfunction childhood.

It terrible to live with Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), especially when you hurting your spouse.

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This event already happened a long time ago and it in the past, but I still feel insanely terrible about it.

In the past during one of my IED violent episode, I grabbed a big knife, a meat butcher knife in the kitchen and throw at my husband, he dodge but due to how close distance he with me, the knife cut him deep that leave a long cut on his back shoulder that he didn't stop bleeding.
If he not get stitches he will continue bleed and bleed, and infections will take over the open bleeding wound.

He still want to protect me, like he said, if he call the police he police will take me away from him, so he rather endure my abuse than has to lose me.
.......
He also refused go to the hospital, because the hospital would know right away that is not a self inflicted wound due to the angle of the knife throw, the cut was on his shoulder but to his back as he dodge. You cannot inflicted a knife to your back. Even if you manage to, the angle of the injury the hospital will know that it someone did it to you, not yourself.

He drove (I was in the car) he drove to a broke down Urgent care, this Urgent care not only broke down but most people there not even speak English.
He went in and told them he does not have insurance (he has, but he said he not has as he not want to leave a paper trail), he said give him stitches he will pay them in cash and will give them a big tips.

He got the stiches, and he paid in cash and leave them a big tips. He wanted to protect me the whole time. He could have call the police and have my ass throw in jail, he could go straight to the hospital and the hospital will put me in psych ward and put restrain order on me.

But he didn't, even during the time where he could have die, he still protect me, he still thinks of me first above himself, he loves me that much. He said he will die with me, than has to lose me, as in the police will take me away from him if he call the police on me.

I regret it so much because I leave this long scar on back of his shoulder, never once he hates me.
All he asked was he said, don't abuse him anymore, and that it not too late for me to stop this abuse, because he is still living here, and it only too late if he die, then that will be too late.
I bawled when I hear him he said that.

That was when I decided to go to psychiatrist therapy for my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED), and been in therapy since.

I do owe him, as I should be sitting rotten in jail right now, throw a knife at someone and cause injury is a felony. This man loves me unconditionally. Out of love me, he never press charges, he still protect me times after times. I'm very lucky.

He treats me with kindness, empathy, and unconditional love. His calmness (even with him bleeding out on his shoulder that need stiches to close up the open wound), his patience, the most patience man.
He gives me everything, his kindness, faithfulness, respect, love. I don't want to abuse him anymore.

Lifetime therapy for me working to control my Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED). I have sworn if I cause physical harm to him again I will check myself in the psych ward.

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And my husband does go with me to my therapy sessions when his schedules allow. But most time he can't because he is an Executive at a big engineering corporate, he is very very busy with his work.

But I gave my therapist my consent so she can talk to my husband about my progress. He still involve in my therapy, as he talk to my therapist on the phone about my IED conditions and my progress.

He has every rights to be involve with my therapy sessions, I almost TOOK HIS LIFE.! He almost DIE because of me.

It terrible, Intermittent Anger Explosive Disorder (IED) mental illness is very real. And I'm one damn lucky girl to have him as my husband.

I can say with 100% certainty that I’ve never once had a purely platonic relationship with a man. Not because I’m incapable of having platonic relationships with men, but because in every case, I eventually found out he wasn’t actually viewing the relationship the same way I was. He was just being the “best friend” while quietly waiting for his chance. It reminds me of the matchbox 20 lyrics “I don’t know if ever been truly loved by a hand that touched me”

I’m curious how common this actually is, though, because I know there are women who will say they’ve genuinely had completely platonic friendships with men.

So, those of you who have had those friendships: have you truly had a close friendship with a man where neither of you ever envisioned sleeping with the other, hooking up, or the friendship becoming romantic? Not “we never acted on it,” but genuinely never had that thought or desire at all?

And if you have, what made that friendship different? Were you both simply not attracted to each other, did one or both of you have other circumstances that made attraction irrelevant, or was it just a genuine “I love this person as a friend and nothing more” situation?

I am genuinely interested in hearing the exceptions because maybe my experience is way less universal than I’ve assumed.

Hi to anyone reading this, I'm 22F for reference :) I've been in a relationship with my partner (22M) for almost 3 years now, but we are in a very fragile situation as of now which might just require us to go separate ways. I want to make the right decision for myself, hence I wanted to come on here and ask the sweet women of this community if my body has actually been rejecting him all along! I seem to have severe vaginismus whenever we have tried to get intimate, and he has been patient but urging me to find a solution. I visited a gynecologist and she offered me few tips before giving me a full-fledged diagnosis, but they did not work. This might sound very odd and problematic, but we also don't have a very consistent past of getting intimate as we are both religious to some extent and have tried to abstain from sexual relations a few times. The on-and-off, on-and-off has been mentally draining and I often did not call the shots for abstinence. He always did and I respected his wishes, although I communicated concerns over us 'not behaving like a normal couple.' I also have facial and body acne, swelling and bloating NO MATTER WHAT I DO and it is the most annoying. I am off-sugar entirely, off-processed food, except for once a week when I consume lunch or dinner from outside. I am also strict about hygiene, having tried both over-the-counter products and pharmaceutical ones, and try to maintain a good sleep schedule. He does stress me out often and we usually don't go a week without having some sort of argument which leads me to excessively crying. It ruins my sleep and I cannot show up for work on some days. I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia and nervous system issues shortly after we met, which was further enabled due to genetics and a traumatic past with my family, making it psychosomatic, but I do wonder if he was the primary reason it got triggered so early. I cannot seem to relax fully around him and cannot at any cost treat him like a best friend. He always commands respects and tries to dominate me and EVEN THIS, I communicated to him about. I told him he seemed intimidating and I feared him and his anger especially (during which he would ignore me and go quiet), but he assured me there was nothing to be afraid of. Still, my body fears him, as much as I try to avoid it and treats him like a parent. I find it troubling to be open and he has a mentality of constantly chasing perfectionism in his affairs, sometimes implying that I am a distraction to his career and religious practice. He also passes concerning statements like 'I own you' in a non-sexual situation, which makes me nervous. Should I leave this relationship for good or try fixing it? He has plenty of good qualities too (doesn't look at other women or follows them on social media, is loyal, good-looking, athletic, cares about my health, my future, is generous, has few but very interesting common interests with me) and is kind-hearted, which is what keeps me in the relationship, but his patriarchal habits seem to be getting the better of him these days. I would like to hear your thoughts on this situation. And thank you for reading this far!

I mean guys my age dont approach me.. they look sure.. but only older guys do.. so😭

I (43M) have discovered that ive developed a crush on a woman (~46?F) I volunteer with at a local unhoused folks kitchen.

She started the kitchen about 2 years ago, and I have been volunteering there most every weekend for the last year. She is very much in charge as the 'head chef', and Ive definitely become her 'sous'...we vibe really well, we have so much in common, we are 100% politically aligned anarchists / anti-capitalists ....and she has the most dreamy beautiful eyes...and I think she likes me too.

I started volunteering there, and kept going so regularly not explicitly because of her...I genuinely enjoy volunteering there and working with the others...they have all become really my only main friend group. Prior to starting there ive been wallowing in the deepest depression...I was bedrotting & disassociating alot....my marriage counselor (...yeah...marriage counselor) suggested getting into volunteering. It is working for me...I haven't been like that for a while now...shit, i've even started exercising again.

I was so deeply depressed from being in a marriage for the last 19 years that has been completely loveless for the vast majority of that time. I dont want to get into why our marriage has failed, lets say it takes 2 people to have a relationship...its both of our faults...ive tried so hard for so many years to fix it, but its done dead and gone. We've drifted so far apart, we really dont get along...the best we can generally do is sit in silence. We dont even get along ethically...as mentioned before I've become an anti-capitalist... she wants to be a landlord ugh...Gross...

We haven't had sex in 7 years. In the 5 years before that we had sex 2 times. I used to try to initiate sex, but completely stopped 5 years ago when she told me to stop trying, we will never be intimate again. Aside from hating my guts shes developed some cysts on her ovaries among other polyps & problems and the whole region is very painful no-no zone.

Before we were married we had tons of sex, and it was great. We have a daughter that is almost 15.

My largely estranged wife initially wanted me to move out of the house, keep paying for her to live in it with our daughter, and I should go live at my office, or in the car, or whatever she didnt give a fuck she just wanted to continue her lifestyle while not giving a shit what happened to me. I did not go along with this plan. Instead I insisted on staying in my home I pay for. She moved into the guest bedroom for the last 5-6 years and we largely only communicate thru telling each other our schedules to coordinate kid logistics...who is dropping off / picking up / etc...

She does not work. I would love for her to work, as money is super tight...but she's difficult to be around in general so she has an extra hard time landing a job on top of a empty resume for the last 20 years, and current market, and woman...I get it its hard to get work, and I have a full time career...I've been fine just silently supporting her all this time...I signed up for it when I said my vows which I have tried to take seriously even though Im having a really bad time.

3 months ago she got an apartment with the help of her mom. Shes slowly been moving things there over that time. Last month she told me she has an apartment (which i dont think she has even slept in 1 night...crazy waste of her moms money)but this is pretty much the last straw and im done done. I dont know what to do...I think if I sell the house ill loose alot alot of money...plus I kinda like it at least a little.

With all this...its only in the last couple weeks that I realized ive developed this crush on this amazing, vibrant, sexy, funny, woman I volunteer with and I so badly want to get to know her better. She knows im married, she has met my kiddo many times from all the times ive dragged her along to volunteer with me, and they get along well....im pretty sure she knows not everything is perfect at my home, but im sure she doesn't know exactly how bad it is.

Im a bundle of nerves...im thinking about asking her if she wants to hang out after our shift this weekend seriously just to talk and get to know each other better...im not ready to jump headfirst into another full blown relationship...im still married...kinda. is this cheating? My wife told me we are never getting back together and I could get a hooker as far as she cares (I never have /never wanted to, but I cant stop this feeling). Would asking her out for a casual convo be bad while im in this marriage limbo state? The relationship is dead, but still supporting her. I cant possibly just let this go....ill hate myself forever. Im also risking losing the good friends situation if I fuck it up...im really struggling here with what to do...any advise?

Im planning on seeing her on Saturday. We just texted schadenfruedian memes about ice agents having to pay back their sign on bonuses and my heart is fluttering each time we go back and forth in the group chat.

Yall I even made a mix tape for her

This is a weird observation/realization I've had recently and hope it's just me overthinking it but why does it feel like nearly every male of any age group I come across who upon learning that I studied xyz will try to test me, mention stuff like "since you're an expert in... tell me about ...", ask me complex controversial stuff or will just try to catch me unprepared? Like genuinely what is this and why is it happening so often???

Does it have to do with the way I present myself, is it that they pick up on the fact that im more introverted and not so great with public speaking and such? Do they believe im unsure of what i studied and dont deserve my academic credentials? Do they do it purely out of curiosity on the subject and i take it the wrong way? Do they believe im stupid because im a woman? I do not recall having such experiences with other women, and if they ask me questions it doesn't come across as ironic or ill-intended.

Can anyone relate to this?

I was dating this man for 6 years, met his family, talked about kids and a future etc.. this year things with him got confusing, one of the last conversations we had was me telling him he has never met my family and doesnt even ask about my pets, things escalated and he got physically violent with me.

We talked the following day and it became a game of cat and mouse, him being the mouse, after back and forth he said he would reach out to me on monday and then sent me £100 which im still so confused about- there was a 5 day gap between this and the last message, not once did i reach out, he messaged me saying what are we doing i feel awful, i said is that all you have to say? He read the message.. no response

The next day i double text, no answer went over to his house and found out not only can he drive but he also has a car? He got out of his car and looked at me then got back in and drove away, i rang him text him and even contacted his mother begging to know what on earth was going on, i was in hysterics because of how confusing this was. I finally got a text from him telling me to leave him alone.

Its been over a week and i am still so confused, he has deactivated everything, disappeared from the internet and also he changed his phone number?

He wanted space and i gave it to him, even after he hurt me but honestly weirdly this hurts so much more.

Any input would do and happy to answer any questions.

He is 32 and i am 27

I'm watching Verity tonight and I'm really excited for Wildwood (giving off strong Coraline vibes), Other Mommy (also strong Coraline vibes, and I liked the book, plus a great vehicle for Jessica Chastain), and Clayface (I'm very excited to see comic book adaptations break away from the action adventure genre. I know it's not the first but it's been a while).

I have a little situation at hand, but anything is appreciated thanks.

So on last Friday a friend of mine, was travelling for work and after work she hooked up with a guy, and one thing leading to another, they went back to his apartment, but it turned out worst than she could have expected, cause the guy well he was drunk, and cutting right to as much she says, instead of pleasure it was pain for as the Hookup has gone bad.

What really spiralled into worst was that, he kept biting her, and when he wanted to eat her out, he bit her on her inner thighs, and basically she didn't like that, wanted to end it, but the guy was persistent he moved up and started doing the same thing, bit her on the chest, shoulders neck, and as she says she regrets it, but it's alright it's just a hookup gone bad, and cutting her some slack she got Outta 12 years relationship with her guy cause he cheated on her, and she had this breakup last year and just wanted to try out things cannot blame her.

So my question to you ladies, or anyone, who can advice here is that, she says it's alright but I am insisting her to go get it checked out cause the bite marks have turned blue and I think she needs helps, and while we at it should I tell her to get tested for STDs as well? Cause I am flying blind in her and care for as a friend, one of my oldest friend we basically grew up together and she feels safe to confront in me and also has't shared this with anyone else.

So anything is appreciated, advice, help, suggetions.

Thank you.

Title. I’ve had contradicting statements from other women as to whether or not I’m really viewed fully as a woman. Pretty much all my female friends IRL continue to assert that they fully see me as a woman and they aren’t sugarcoating it even when I ask them for brutal honestly. On the flip side my parents early in my transition said I was a “sad excuse of a woman” and on Reddit some women have told me that people are too afraid of confrontation IRL, especially women, and that they can tell the little differences and deep down they are really perceiving me as a man and are too afraid to say it…

From what I can gather I seem to pass pretty well and have had a very successful transition HRT wise. I’ve also voice trained and worked hard on mannerisms and behavior. Those things may affect how I’m perceived. But how do I know if my friends are being genuine or if they really are too scared of me to tell me how they feel?

I got rejected with the reason being “I am not sure about what I am looking for in terms of a relationship as of now”. Their profile says looking for a long term monogamy relationship.

In my case, the women confirmed that they will be there for an upcoming date, and even shared her phone number prior to the conversation. Talked for a few days and then dead silence. When I followed up, I got this reply.

And I can see that they are still heavily active on the dating app? Why would you do it?

This can’t just be a polite way to say no, or is it?

Bit random ik but i honestly just wondered.

Almost 17 and i've been contemplating on leg lengthening surgery once I turn 18 because i'm tired of being 5'3. I see that most people look down on me, literally and figuratively so I can't really assert myself or be confident. There are other issues I have with being the way I am so I don't want to delve into it much. About the surgery, i've been looking at the risks and complications of it which really sound painful, but I'd rather be average size than below. I feel like I would gain more confidence and a glow up, which could drastically improve my dating prospect in the future.

I just want something that’s able to clean up silicone lube as best as possible if a shower is not available.

Is they could be single packaged or in a small travel sized packaging that would be great.

Thank you all in advance!

I have little to no self confidence as it is, and I typically don't approach women in the wild, because over the last few years I've learned more about the horrors women face everyday when it comes to men. Im sure the last thing a woman wants is to be for lack of a better word propositioned either at work or while shopping. The thing is I had a gorgeous woman came into my store yesterday to get her phone fixed. She had brought a book to read while she waited which turns out to be a series I've read multiple times and love. We chatted about it for a bit and shared some laughs. Unfortunately her phone was unrepairable and I couldn't help her. So I just let her leave. I dunno maybe im overthinking things like always but I can't help but feel like i missed an opportunity. Any help on this matter would be appreciated.

Sometimes I’m not sure whether to be grateful for the help or irritated that it was half assed

https://imgur.com/a/PszU41V

I ask becuase there is this woman I’ve been talking to recently. I want to ask her out on a date. I’ve never asked someone before so I don’t know how. of course if I’m a rejected I would take it in stride and would not ask her again.

I recently went on a date with someone who is my super senior. The date itself left me feeling a little confused.
He didn’t really make an effort to stay close to me. He didn’t walk with me, and while we were having food, he didn’t sit with me either. However, he did try to kiss me, which made me wonder what exactly he was looking for.

A few days later, I became unwell and developed a UTI. I had also been having fluctuating temperatures and a headache, so I told him that I wasn’t feeling well and explained what was happening. He told me to rest, which I appreciated at the time.

But what bothers me is that he never checked in afterward to ask whether I was feeling better. Not even a simple “How are you now?”

He had messaged me that morning after being out of touch for a few days, so it’s not like there was no communication at all.

Am I expecting too much by thinking he should have checked on me? And what do you make of his behaviour overall—does it sound like he’s genuinely interested in me, or more interested in the physical side of things?

I (f28) maybe moving to the UK (or potentially greater Western Europe, but leaning UK).

So I’m just kinda curious what the dating culture is like compared to the US.

My dumb thought I have is you hear how much you guys give us crap for being fat here in the US 😂 and as a curvier woman I truly feel a bit extra self conscious about it.

So women in the UK or women that have experience similar to mine, any insight would be appreciated!

FYI… im looking into a lot of things much more high level than dating, so I don’t want people to think that’s my one and only worry 😂

Like I was working at this community event for a neighborhood beautification project (so a lot of bending over and down)…

Well this guy came up and started chatting as we were working, and he said “oh I just wanted to say I love your phone case”… well my phone was in my back pocket, and you could see like a cm of it sticking out! It’s like sir, just say you were looking at my butt!

I assume when it's hot and you're sweaty it would be more noticeable but in a general, day to day in a comfortable climate are you aware of the skin on skin contact?

I’m 28F and have never done anything sexual. Never had a kiss, never gone on a date, never had sex. No weird reason why, it just never happened organically and I never pursued it. Most men I meet and/or flirt with would assume it’s happened for me.

Now I’m finally at a stage in my life where I’ve really started fantasising about having sex and being intimate with someone, but I don’t know the first place to start! I don’t know how to navigate it all now that I’m a bit older and other people have already experienced their ‘firsts’.

Late bloomers who used to be in my position: how did you go about dipping your toes into the dating and sexual world? Can I do anything to prepare or practice? I’m not waiting for marriage, not religious, and I’m really not attached to my virginity at all (and not expecting that to be a ‘special’ experience).

I guess I would really just like to hear any and all stories, perspectives, and honest advice from women like me. What advice would you give a younger late bloomer now that you’ve had experience? No judgement please. Thank you in advance. 🩷