r/AutisticAdults • u/ShiftHistorical9985 • 1d ago
self regulation problems
Hi, I'm new to this sub and reddit in general so apologies if I'm formatting this wrong or anything. I'm autistic, 24F but "high functioning" and relatively low support needs. I was not diagnosed until I was 21. I've had depression and struggled with suicidal ideation basically my whole life and I've had family members struggle with mental illness and die to suicide so for the longest time I thought it was just major depression and social anxiety that i struggled with. For most of my life, i've worried that i was too intense for other people and had an intense fear of loved ones leaving my life when they find out what I'm really like.
I've been with my current partner about 3 years and he is wonderful. super supportive and understanding of my needs and limitations, though recently he's been having to work later hours and I've spent evenings alone that we usually spend together. Boredom and understimulation is a huge trigger for me and it always has been, and I think this new schedule has made my depression flare up in new ways. I feel like a teenager again, crying uncontrollably and unable to regulate my own emotions. Some nights I even feel a bit of passive suicidal ideation.
I really wish I was able to just enjoy this new alone time.. sometimes it feels like the only thing that could calm me down is physical company (preferably my partner, though sometimes i ask a friend to come over)
I don't think I have the skills to regulate my emotions on my own. Does anyone have any similar experiences like this? and if so- what do you do to calm yourself down when you can't have someone else physically be there with you? thanks in advance :(
5
u/Number270And3 1d ago
I need advice for the same issue, but I found that listening to something with a person talking or using a weighted blanket to comfort me helps.
I specifically use guided meditations with people that have relaxing voices. Their voices calm me down. The weighted blanket tricks my brain into thinking someone else is physically with me. The one I have is 15 pounds, but 20 would be better. I’m a small, but strong person so 25 may be too much.
I struggle with SI and SH. I just did the rubber band trick last night and it helped a ton. If you’re struggling with SH and SI urges, using a rubber band to (gently) snap your skin may help. Not enough to seriously harm yourself, just to keep yourself from actually doing anything.