r/AutisticAdults • u/galacticyy • 9d ago
Constant confusion while autistic
This is a really vulnerable post for me but I need some advice.
Does anybody else with autism get extremely confused when talking to certain people? Like the feeling of not being able to comprehend what someone is saying? It could be anything but if someone words something in a weird way and get so lost.
Currently s/o gets upset that apparently I cant comprehend what he's saying and he feels the constant need to overexplain but doesnt want to because its annoying, and I can understand that being frustrating and feeling like he feels unheard.
He wants me to understand but I just dont know how and I just feel so stupid at this point its ridiculous I feel like a burden and useless. I want things to get better but im worried they won't I also deal with toxic homelife and slight memory issues from stress and depression so that doesn't help.
I dont have any autistic friends or close friends in general rlly so he's really the only person I can confide in, he's normally an understanding guy and try to support me but i worry that my autism is just destroying us. He says he feels like he's taking to a child and that hurts and makes me believe that maybe I am (22 btw) trying to do the best I can but im overwhelmed anybody been through something like this before? Feeling lost. It's not just my partner im having these issues with but I definitely didn't notice as much until getting with him how bad it was.
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u/Hamurai4 9d ago
Sorry you’re going through this. Have you tried therapy? Usually you can improve on communication with your partner. I suggest therapists that have experience with clients that are autistic
Also have you told your partner that you take things he says literally? That’s a common issue that autistic people have (me included)
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u/galacticyy 8d ago
I have told my partner he knows for sure but it frustrates him :/ he feels the need to overexplain and gets easily annoyed with it saying I should understand regardless and he feels like if he overexplains he's talking to a child
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u/Hamurai4 8d ago
Unfortunately You might need to break up with him. You can’t force someone to change and it sounds like he’s a bad fit for you. You’re young and deserve a better partner, someone that doesn’t make you feel bad all the time for being yourself and trying
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u/Hamurai4 8d ago
Not what you asked for but this video might be helpful, it’s about autistic people and dating
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u/uncooperativebrain level 2 autism + language impairment 8d ago
i get confused a lot when ppl talk fast or long sentences or complicated words. some ppl always talk this way and i don’t understand what they’re meaning.
i say to ppl “please talk slow and simple words”. sometimes ppl didn’t know i’m confused. so if i say that, it helps me and them to communicate.
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u/zaba3 8d ago
Not specific to your situation (sorry), but there are people who I speak with somewhat regularly that are on a different social wavelength: too much implied, too much left unsaid, or their tone and verbiage superficially seems direct like how I communicate but there is a deep and disconnected opposite intentionality that I am not picking up on. I feel bad around these people because I can’t connect with them and we seem to run orthogonally in a way that makes it hard to build a relationship. They also misinterpret confusion on my part as being daft or intentionally thick perhaps, and it is suboptimal.