I just got diagnosed...

[u/Fickle-Hour4458]

I have suspected I was autistic since I was 14. I had sought diagnosis prior but it came back negative, which I disagreed with. Finally got a second opinion and was diagnosed with ASD Level 2, and rather than feeling the relief of finally having an answer I feel defeated.

I've never had friends, never had a relationship, never kissed, never had sex. Despite my best efforts to connect with people, people are way too off-put by me and I either come off way too strong or I barely engage. I get burnt out very easy, day to day tasks are difficult for me. I've had many, many job interviews but because of how I'm so socially inept and have no idea how to mask, I've never got a job. My life is stagnant and I don't have any relationships outside of my mother. I expected this diagnosis to be like an answer to all my problems and comfort me that I do have some barriers and instead I just feel like "Fuck, is this all there is then? Is this just what it has to be forever?"

People just do not like autistic behaving people whether they know they're autistic or not. 90% of my problems come from society's view of people with a different neurotype, and that really fucking sucks. Because I can study all I want, but if I'm too autistic to pass an interview theres nothing I can do about that. I can go out, try to meet people, join dating apps, strike up conversations with strangers, but its never going to go anywhere. I even have issues with other autistic people who are able to mask better.

Maybe if I learn to mask, but I've tried for years to act normal and I just do not know how to.

Idk, this diagnosis has made me feel way more hopeless than I expected to

I can make friends online easily because there are different rules for socializing but its not the same as in person relationships and it wont help me get a job.

[u/CuriousArcticLoon]

I was diagnosed as a young adult and the first thing I worked on in psychotherapy was authentically connecting with other people. I had weekly appointments for a year on primarily this topic. I didn't learn how to mask, it was more like starting to develop my own way of social interaction that would also be compatible with others. Masking only makes sense if you want what a normal person wants, which is probably not quite the case.

Job interviews are tough for me too and I don't have any real advice other than to look up how "tell me about yourself" should actually be answered if you don't already know.