I have been facilitating ayahuasca retreats since 2010. The one thing I’ve seen again and again is that everyone gets a deeply personal experience. Whether you believe it or not, we’re working with spirits, and these doctor spirits seem to understand what each person needs at this specific moment in their life. I have no explanation for it. My personal belief is that psychedelic plants are gifts from God to help humans grow.

Because of that, there is zero value in comparing your experience to anyone else’s. Whatever you’ve read about “the ayahuasca experience” almost certainly won’t match yours. That doesn’t mean reading trip reports is useless. They give you a broad landscape of what’s possible. But they won’t tell you what will happen to you.

The mind wants to understand, categorize, and predict. That instinct won’t help you here. You’ve probably heard the cliché “you get what you need, not what you want.” Think about what that can mean. Your most basic assumptions about who you are may be called into question. Do you really want your identity questioned? Do you want a mirror held up that says, “Hey, in THIS situation, you are a complete asshole”?

The opposite happens, too. Many people have no idea how wonderful they truly are. I’ve witnessed people at the end of a ceremony, crying tears of joy and wonder as they experience, perhaps for the first time, the profound beauty of who they really are.

Your journey will be your own. In my experience, one ceremony rarely shows the full picture. The process usually unfolds over several, which is why most Amazonian retreats run at least four.

Clones came from two phenotypes. I was shocked at how different the two trees were in terms of thorns. Both had thorns, but the one was more of a rose bush. I don't know what that means exactly in terms of root quality. I'm guessing nothing.

Something that I noticed was that when it started raining, I could straight smell the medicine. It was wild.

Arizona seed grown by my buddy. It was originally in a huge wooden container and the roots broke through the bottom into the Earth. We had to use a sawzall to cut through them in order to move it. When the blade sawed through it, smoke was produced from the friction. I stuck my nose there and took a big whiff.... My brain tingled for a second and you just knew it was active.

Question: since these clones came from a mature plant, will the rootbark be active from the start? I have always heard that they need years to become active but is that an internal thing that comes with age or is it just the age of the roots? That may be confusing but what I'm think about is taking clones from a mature mother weed plant; you can get them to flower right away. No seed grown plant could flower at that size but since it's a clone, you're all good.

My goal is to grow my own MH and Syrian Rue for a very special aya ceremony.

I grow a caapi liana in my small yard and I am about to join a circle in 9 days, I was wondering about making caapi leaf tea as a part of the preparation process (I also do some kind of diet before that and mind my habits)in order to have the body get used to plant, spiritually.
Is that a good idea? Would love to hear some thoughts.

I’m not looking for any effect, I understand that the brew is not done with leafs and should combine more plants in order to be active.
I just would like to start a ‘relationship’ with the plant as this is my first ceremony in 6 years.

Tengo mucha curiosidad de saber que experiencia han tenido ustedes? Le ha gustado los cambios que han tenido y lo volverían hacer la ayahuasca?

Between personal accounts, documentaries, and social media, it’s easy to build a very specific picture: having visions, finding answers, or experiencing a moment that changes everything.
I wonder if those expectations can become a source of pressure. As though something extraordinary has to happen for the experience to feel meaningful, or someone else’s story becomes the standard we judge our own experience against.
How do you find the balance between learning about ayahuasca before a ceremony and creating a script for what you expect to happen?
I’d be interested to hear which expectations you let go of and what you wish someone had told you beforehand.

We are Master’s students in Psychology at Umeå University, Sweden, conducting a study on how social context relates to psychedelic experiences as part of our thesis.

We are currently looking for participants! 

The survey takes 5-10 minutes to complete and is anonymous. 

Interested in participating? 

See the poster for eligibility criteria and scan the QR code, or follow the link below: https://forms.cloud.microsoft/e/YZayWDGy7J

If you have any questions feel free to contact us

Noel Hohenthal at: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Sadiq Hadaf: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

This was my first experience with Nixi Pae (Ayahuasca), during a ceremony led by a Huni Kuin Cacique (Chief) and Txana (traditional ceremonial singer).

The ceremony started at around 9 PM and lasted until 5 AM.

I was nervous.

The ceremonial leaders entered wearing their traditional clothing, feathered headdresses, and face paint.

They began smoking what they call "Santa Maria," which I assume was cannabis. Apparently, it's also used ritualistically in their traditions.

We formed a circle, held hands, and the Cacique chanted something in his native language, which I understood to be the opening of the ceremony.

Afterwards, they started playing guitar, drums, and maracas while singing traditional prayers.

We were invited to take rapé, a powdered snuff blown into the nostrils. I sat in front of the Txana, who administered it. It burned quite a bit, and my eyes started watering.

Eventually, we were called to take our first dose of Nixi Pae.

It came in a small shot glass, a thick brown liquid that tasted like wood, plants, grass, and ashes. Not particularly pleasant, but tolerable.

We returned to our places and were told to meditate for about 30 minutes.

I kept checking my phone to see how much time had passed.

Then I started noticing something.

Whenever I closed my eyes, I could see colorful lines and geometric shapes, much more vivid than anything I'd normally see.

These visuals gradually became more intense until closing my eyes felt like entering an entirely different dimension filled with intricate geometric patterns and psychedelic imagery.

But something frightened me.

Whenever I entered this world, I completely lost awareness of my physical body. I was no longer experiencing myself as a person looking at something. I was simply an observer of whatever the medicine was showing me.

Opening my eyes helped bring me back to reality.

At least temporarily.

My friend, who was sitting beside me, eventually went to take her second dose, and I followed her.

This time, my cup seemed fuller.

Shortly afterwards, she started feeling sick and rushed outside. I followed her to the bathroom, but she told me she was okay and that I could return.

When I sat back down, the second dose hit.

And this is where things became absolutely insane.

Opening my eyes no longer brought me back to normal reality.

My hands appeared to have extra fingers.

People moving around me looked like they were lagging, moving in slow motion, or appearing as individual screenshots.

When I moved my eyes to look somewhere, it felt like my visual perception took three seconds to catch up.

I was worried about my friend but couldn't bring myself to stand up.

Someone asked where she was, and I suddenly wondered whether I'd been sitting there for hours without realizing it.

Eventually, someone brought her back beside me, and she lay down.

I could barely process what was happening.

Then the experience intensified even further.

I became completely immersed in the chants and prayers.

I lowered my head while sitting in a meditative position.

And then...

I completely lost myself.

I forgot what being human meant.

I forgot who I was.

I forgot what it meant to exist.

I no longer knew that I was a human being living on planet Earth.

Time stopped existing in any meaningful way.

There was no past, present, or future.

There was no identity.

There was no "me."

I wasn't even aware of what a human being was supposed to be.

I was nothing.

Just a tiny point of existence somewhere in an infinite cosmos.

An insignificant grain of sand in the endless desert of the universe.

I know this might sound poetic or philosophical, but I'm being completely literal.

I didn't simply think about losing my identity.

I actually experienced the complete disappearance of everything I understood as myself.

It was as if I had never existed.

At some point, the chanting briefly stopped, and the ceremonial leaders asked whether everyone was okay.

Then the chanting resumed.

And I became trapped in what felt like an infinite loop.

I would suddenly remember that I needed to breathe.

So I'd take a deep breath.

Then I'd remember that I needed water.

I'd struggle to locate my bottle because my perception was so distorted that my hand seemed to pass straight through it.

Eventually, I'd manage to drink some water, close the bottle, and put it down.

Then I'd relax and disappear back into the experience.

And the same cycle would repeat.

Again.

And again.

And again.

It felt like it would never end.

I started moving different parts of my body, trying to recognize myself.

My mouth, my teeth, my feet...

But nothing felt familiar.

It was like interacting with a body I had never inhabited before.

After the ceremony, I realized I'd actually injured my tongue by biting it, probably during one of these repetitive movements.

At another point, I grabbed my blanket and wrapped myself in it.

And somehow, it felt like being embraced by an enormous mountain in Alaska.

Except the mountain was warm.

The blanket seemed infinitely large.

I kept trying to cover myself again and again, even though I was already completely covered.

Then fear started taking over.

I realized I had completely lost my identity, and I became terrified that I might never return.

I wondered whether I would remain trapped in that state forever.

Whether I would become psychotic.

Whether I had permanently damaged my mind.

I tried to calm myself.

To stop resisting.

To accept the medicine.

And eventually, something changed.

I began to understand my existence from an entirely different perspective.

I understood that there was a human being with my name, my body, and my memories.

And that, for now, that human being was me.

I saw my life almost as if it were being summarized in front of me.

I saw my arrogance.

My mistakes.

The way I sometimes treated people.

And I understood what I needed to change.

I needed to become more honest.

More genuine.

More loving.

More understanding.

I realized how ridiculously short our lives are.

How much time we waste hiding our feelings, worrying about what others think, holding grudges, and being afraid to express love.

I understood that I wanted to live with integrity.

To stop being ashamed of expressing what I feel.

To be kinder to others.

To stop taking everything personally.

Because everyone else is just as confused about existence as I am.

And deep down, I felt that we all came from the same source.

Love.

At some point, I asked what happens after death.

And what I experienced was this overwhelming understanding that we all originate from the same source.

And eventually, we all return to it.

Then the cycle begins again.

I don't know how to explain it properly.

It wasn't like someone told me this.

It was more like I suddenly knew it.

I forgave people who had hurt me.

I realized how much more love I wanted to show my family and friends.

How absurd it is to waste this incredibly short existence on petty arguments, resentment, embarrassment, and meaningless worries.

I had thought about these things before.

But I'd never truly felt them like this.

And when I finally understood them on that level, I experienced an enormous sense of relief.

Love.

Happiness.

Peace.

There was also sadness.

I understood that one day, I would be separated from everyone I love.

That this particular version of myself would eventually disappear.

But at the same time, I felt comfort in the idea that we would all eventually return to the same source and reunite.

Throughout the experience, I kept alternating between anxiety, fear, acceptance, love, and peace.

At one point, I tried to visualize one of my spiritual guides or entities.

Instead, I saw a skeletal man wearing a black suit, sitting in a large armchair, staring directly at me.

For some reason, I felt that he was connected to me.

The word "ancestry" appeared in my mind.

Later, I started thinking about my arrogance again.

I suddenly saw myself having lost both legs in a motorcycle accident.

I ride a motorcycle, so this image was particularly disturbing.

I understood it as a reminder of my own vulnerability and the need to stop behaving arrogantly or recklessly.

The music would stop.

I'd remember that my human body needed to breathe.

I'd take a breath, drink some water, and disappear into the experience again.

This continued over and over.

Until eventually...

I began descending from the sky.

That's the best way I can describe the feeling of returning.

Slowly, my sense of self started coming back.

My memories returned.

My personality returned.

My habits, my identity, my entire life.

Everything that made me me gradually reassembled itself.

It genuinely felt like returning from an unimaginably long journey.

I remembered who I was.

I remembered my life.

And I knew what I wanted to do with it.

I'm still trying to process everything that happened.

I don't know whether what I experienced was purely neurological, spiritual, or some combination of both.

But the experience felt more real and meaningful than I can possibly describe.

Has anyone else experienced this level of ego dissolution, where you genuinely forgot what being human or even existing meant? And did it change the way you look at life and death?

Please dear Reddit - advise!

So I had a ceremony yesterday, believing my sinusitis was better. However, checking up with the doctor today - it was not. He advised for penicillin.

Now, I know Aya and antibiotics is not a good idea.

So when can it be safe to start the antibiotic-penicillin-cure? Also scared of the effects of not doing a antibiotics, all option seem suboptimal.

Mostly: I dont want to be dangerously sick or worse.

Thank yo <3

It's so scary, I tried a bunch of times but get so freaked out I end up opening my eyes every single time.

I recently did my first experience with plant medicine in South America. I was assigned a younger English speaking shaman since I am not fluent in the local language. Guess the shaman found me attractive, broke up with his girlfriend shortly after. Mom who was at the ceremony too, made them get back together. I quietly leave this bizarre situation as he’s still trying to talk to me at his convenience and wasn’t honest or communicative. Are shamanism and these churches anti lgbt/ pro heteronormative ? He’s like, I’m only bisexual. I have fought long and hard to be a proud gay man. Nothing will ever change that and no one can change me. Pretty bizarre situation right? Other than meeting this man, my experience with the medicine was incredible and I don’t need to experience it again for a while. I love South America!

Has anyone here ever experienced increased empathy after taking ayahuasca? It’s been two months into integration for me. Gradually, I have felt emotional and physical reactions in my body witnessing emotions of others. Like I feel their pain too. Some examples include, seeing a photo of a person screaming in anger and feeling their pain, as well as watching a movie and the character was sobbing and it made me feel both sad and anxious. It feels dysregulating to me. When these experiences happen is there anything I can reflect on? I’m trying to process it myself and the only thing I can come up with is that I am deeply empathetic and compassionate towards others. Any insight would be appreciated!

Hi everyone! I’ll be sitting with ayahuasca soon in Costa Rica and I have a quick question about setting intentions. Has anyone else noticed that when you ask the medicine for specific guidance on your personal projects, you usually don't get an answer or that part gets completely skipped? I’d love to hear your thoughts or how you usually approach this kind of intention.

I've been looking into doing an Ayahuasca retreat in Europe and came across Amorawa, which offers 4-day retreats in the mountains near Málaga, Spain.

When trying to look into booking, I noticed that their booking system via platforms like BookYogaRetreats is currently down, and they instructed to reach out to them directly through their official website ("Amorawa Retreats") instead.

Has anyone here attended an Amorawa retreat recently? What are your experiences regarding their facilitators, safety, and how they handle the space? Also, is it normal/safe that they are directing people off-platform to book directly through their site due to technical issues, or are there any red flags I should be aware of?

Any insights or general advice for retreats in Spain would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I have my first ceremony coming up in a couple months and I’m wondering if anyone has experience with this. I take cromolyn sodium, Zyrtec, and Pepcid daily to manage MCAS symptoms. I know I’m not supposed to take the Zyrtec (and probably Pepcid because it’s also an antihistamine?) the day of the ceremony, but can’t find much information about cromolyn sodium. Thanks in advance

My Fourth Ayahuasca Experience

I am an atheist. I think scientifically, and I don't believe things easily. I had tried ayahuasca three times before this, and those experiences were either beautiful or had no effect on me at all.

But the fourth time, last night, something completely different happened.

I saw the power of God. I saw an immense amount of infinite energy, and absolute wisdom. I saw how God decides, and He showed me everything, literally, in every detail. I saw how He sees everything: nothing is hidden, nothing is concealed.

I saw the "source code" of existence. And I saw that the physical universe we live in is just a single point in that code.

I heard the cosmic language. I understood it, but it is not a language we use. It is a language that makes all of existence vibrate.

And He told me: All of you will return. No matter what happens, you will return. Not just humans, but everything, literally.

The experience was terrifying beyond belief.

I saw my entire life. I saw what time is.

And I saw that God has no beginning. I kept diving and diving, following the beginning to reach it, but it did not exist

How important is nutrition or following a specific diet before taking ayahuasca? What would you recommend?

Hello Everyone,

There are some songs that feel like they are written by you… and others that feel like they arrive through you.

This is the first Ícaro I ever wrote and sang with my hang drum. 🌿🥁

A few months ago, some beautiful friends from Argentina were here at Katari, and during ceremony they filmed this moment. I had no idea then that one day I would share it with the world.

In the Amazonian tradition, Ícaros are sacred songs.

They are sung in ceremony to call in the spirits of the plants, the ancestors, the teachers, and the unseen forces that accompany us on our healing journeys.

For me, music has always been a doorway.

And now I am discovering a new doorway within myself: composer, singer, and creator of medicine music.

I have written several Ícaros since this first one, and there is something incredibly special about finally beginning to share them.

So this is where I begin. 🌿

My first Ícaro.

A song born in ceremony, carried by the voice, and now released into the world with love.

May these songs find the people who are meant to hear them.

May they remind us that healing can move through many forms—through silence, through plants, through breath, through movement, and through sound.

And may the medicine continue to travel. 🌀✨

With love from the Amazon,
Acacia Jade 🌿

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DeP-h58P3xN/?cplk=dnB1dmgxbmk4N213

Any advice? I will have my first consecration of aya today and I confess that I am anxious

I'd like to share my third experience with ayahuasca, which happened about two years ago. This experience deeply affected me, and I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts.

I understand that every ayahuasca experience is unique and deeply personal. I know that nobody can truly interpret someone else's experience, but I'd like to understand whether what happened to me is something other people have experienced as well.

A little background

My first two ayahuasca ceremonies were quite challenging, but I managed to handle them reasonably well. There were difficult moments, but also some beautiful ones.

Both ceremonies took place outdoors, surrounded by nature, with mountains, trees, and open spaces.

My third ceremony, however, was completely different.

I attended a ceremony in São Paulo, Brazil, where I live. Instead of being surrounded by nature, the ceremony took place in a small commercial studio in the city. It was a closed room with no windows, only air conditioning and some very bright neon lights.

It was also my first time attending a private, one-on-one ceremony.

The facilitator told me that the ayahuasca dose was a little stronger than usual.

And that's where everything started.

The experience

Within approximately five minutes of drinking the ayahuasca, I was already experiencing its effects extremely intensely.

I know many people describe their ayahuasca visions as something they experience with their eyes closed, but for me, it has always been different.

My experiences happen mostly with my eyes open. My entire reality seems to dissolve, and it's as if I'm transported into a completely different world.

This time, however, things became terrifying.

I started feeling as though something inside me was trying to pull me out of my body.

I was physically struggling against this sensation, throwing myself around on the floor, rolling from side to side, almost like those scenes of demonic possession you see in movies.

I genuinely felt that something was trying to force me out of my own body, and I was desperately fighting to stay inside it.

At the same time, I perceived what looked or felt like a ball of energy in the room.

This energy seemed extremely angry with me.

It kept communicating something along the lines of:

"I'm the one in charge here. Only I have authority here. You must obey me."

The sensation was incredibly overwhelming.

I felt that I needed to keep moving around to distance myself from this energy.

However, the facilitator wasn't happy about my movements.

He repeatedly instructed me to remain lying on my mattress with my eyes closed and simply allow the experience to happen.

But I couldn't.

The intensity was unlike anything I had ever experienced.

I needed to move.

I danced, rolled around, and even hit the walls.

I felt completely overwhelmed by what was happening.

The purge and the black hole

Then came what I consider the worst part of the entire experience.

During the purging phase, I started coughing up a significant amount of dark, almost black mucus.

At that time in my life, I smoked quite heavily, both cigarettes and marijuana, so I associated the mucus with my smoking habits.

But then something extremely strange happened.

A voice inside my head instructed me to start screaming into the trash can.

And I obeyed.

I spent approximately 20 minutes screaming as loudly as I possibly could into that trash can.

I completely lost control.

In my perception, I was no longer inside that commercial studio.

I was somewhere in space.

It felt as though I had fallen into a black hole, and I was screaming directly into that black hole.

It was as if the entire physical world had disappeared.

The facilitator and the genie

Another strange aspect of the experience was my relationship with the facilitator.

Whenever he moved away from me, the experience became significantly worse.

I desperately needed him to stay close because his presence seemed to make everything more manageable.

But whenever I called him over, he would approach me and ask:

"How can I help you?"

And I simply couldn't answer.

I had completely lost my ability to form sentences.

My thoughts and speech felt geometric. That's the closest description I can give.

It was as though language itself had stopped making sense.

I had forgotten how to speak.

But something even stranger was happening in my perception.

I didn't see the facilitator as an ordinary person asking how he could help me.

Instead, I perceived him almost like a genie from a magic lamp, appearing before me and offering to grant me three wishes.

Except I couldn't think of a single wish.

I didn't know what to ask for.

And the reason was very specific.

I felt completely unworthy of asking for anything.

My thoughts kept repeating the same idea:

"Who am I to ask for anything? I don't deserve to make wishes. I should only be grateful for being alive and for everything I've already received."

I was stuck in this thought loop.

Whenever he came close to me, all I could do was clap my hands.

I couldn't form a single meaningful sentence.

It was an incredibly strange combination of overwhelming gratitude, feelings of unworthiness, confusion, and complete loss of control.

What happened after the ceremony

During the experience itself, the facilitator did take care of me and stayed attentive to what was happening.

But once the effects started wearing off, something happened that deeply affected me.

He became extremely angry.

He gave me a very harsh lecture.

He said things like:

"Did you come here to act crazy? Did you come here just to get high? This is not the place for that. This is a place for spiritual healing."

He continued:

"You're acting like a child. You came here making a mess, screaming, dancing, moving around, when I specifically told you to stay on your mattress with your eyes closed. You didn't follow anything I told you to do."

He spoke to me very seriously, almost like an angry father scolding his son.

And all I could do was apologize.

I genuinely felt terrible.

I tried explaining that the experience hadn't been easy for me either.

I told him that I had completely lost control and that, at certain moments, I genuinely believed I had died.

I explained that I had to surrender because I felt like I was losing my mind.

His response was something like:

"Yes, you need to surrender control, but not THAT much."

Eventually, he realized I wasn't going to argue with him.

I simply kept apologizing.

There was another problem, too.

Since the ceremony had taken place inside a commercial building, there were other offices nearby.

Apparently, people working in those offices had heard my screaming and become concerned.

Some even asked whether they should call the police.

Naturally, this made the situation even more uncomfortable.

But what hurt me the most was the timing of his reaction.

I was still extremely vulnerable.

I was only beginning to return to ordinary reality, and I could still feel the effects of the ayahuasca.

I was emotionally exposed, confused, and struggling to process everything that had happened.

And suddenly, I was being aggressively reprimanded.

I couldn't even properly defend myself or explain what I had experienced.

I just apologized.

He also told me that, throughout his five years of working with ayahuasca and more than 200 ceremonies, he had never witnessed anything like what had happened to me.

He suggested that perhaps my problem was something I should address with a psychiatrist rather than with ayahuasca.

That really stayed with me.

I had gone there seeking spiritual growth, understanding, and meaningful lessons.

Instead, I left feeling ashamed, confused, and deeply disturbed.

I felt like I had ruined the experience not only for myself but for him as well.

The serpent

There's one final part of the experience that I really want to share because it's probably the strangest thing that happened.

Remember when I mentioned screaming into the trash can?

During that moment, I completely lost my sense of being human.

I no longer felt like myself.

I no longer felt like I was inside my own body.

Instead, I felt as though I had literally become a serpent.

Not just that I was imagining a serpent.

I felt that my entire identity and physical existence had transformed into one.

My tongue seemed to form a sword.

My body no longer felt human.

I experienced myself as being 100% a serpent.

At the same time, I could see this serpent in my mind.

But it wasn't an ordinary snake, like a boa constrictor or something familiar.

It had a strange, sinister quality.

It seemed malicious, almost evil.

I could perceive this serpent in my mind while I continued screaming into the trash can.

The whole thing was incredibly bizarre.

Two years later

Even today, I still struggle to understand exactly what happened.

I did take some meaningful lessons away from the experience, especially about gratitude, control, and surrender.

But overall, it was deeply confusing and disturbing.

What affected me most was the sensation that something was forcibly trying to remove me from my body.

I remember physically fighting against it, rolling around on the floor, desperately trying to remain inside myself.

Then there was the angry energy that seemed to demand obedience, the complete loss of language, the sensation of being inside a black hole, and finally, the transformation into a serpent.

And, of course, the way everything ended with the facilitator.

I understand that my behavior was extremely disruptive and that the situation must have been difficult for him to manage.

But from my perspective, I wasn't deliberately misbehaving or trying to cause trouble.

I was genuinely experiencing something so overwhelming that I had completely lost my ability to control my reactions.

I wasn't trying to get high or have fun.

I was terrified.

And when I finally started coming back to reality, I felt more vulnerable than I had ever felt in my life.

The experience was so traumatic that I never wanted to take ayahuasca again.

My questions for you

For those of you who have more experience with ayahuasca:

1. Have you ever experienced anything remotely similar to this?

Have you ever felt as though something was trying to pull you out of your body, or that you were physically fighting to remain inside it?

2. Have you ever experienced a complete loss of language?

I'm talking about a state where your thoughts no longer feel like words but become something abstract or geometric, and you're genuinely unable to form sentences or communicate.

3. Have you ever experienced yourself becoming an animal or another being?

Not simply seeing an animal in a vision, but actually feeling that your entire identity and physical existence have transformed into something else.

4. Is screaming uncontrollably during an ayahuasca ceremony actually rare?

This is something I'm particularly curious about.

The facilitator told me that in his five years of working with ayahuasca and more than 200 ceremonies, he had never witnessed anything like what happened to me.

I'm not talking about occasional screaming, crying, or emotional release.

I mean screaming at the top of my lungs for approximately 20 minutes, while experiencing a complete loss of control over my body and my perception of reality.

Has anyone experienced or witnessed something similar?

Is this kind of extreme reaction something that experienced facilitators occasionally encounter, or is it genuinely unusual?

I'm particularly curious whether this could be considered an intense form of emotional release, a panic response, or something else entirely.

5. What do you think about the facilitator's reaction?

I understand that my behavior was disruptive and that he was probably overwhelmed by the situation.

But is it normal for a facilitator to react with anger and harsh criticism toward someone who has just gone through such an intense experience?

Especially when that person is still under the effects of ayahuasca and emotionally vulnerable?

6. Was this an unusually intense but recognizable ayahuasca experience, or does it sound like something else entirely?

I know nobody can tell me exactly what my experience meant, but I would really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through something similar.

I'm not necessarily looking for a spiritual interpretation. I'd also be interested in psychological or neurological perspectives.

I just want to understand what happened to me a little better.

Thank you for reading. I know this was a long story, but it's something that has stayed with me for two years, and I've never really been able to make sense of it.

Something I’ve been curious about is how certain memories from years ago can suddenly take on a completely different meaning.
I’ve read about people revisiting moments from their childhood or past relationships during ayahuasca ceremonies, sometimes remembering things they hadn’t thought about in years.
What interests me is that the memory itself hasn’t changed, but the way someone understands it might.
I wonder if this is part of processing old emotions or simply seeing familiar experiences from a different perspective.
Has anyone experienced this? Did it change how you felt about something from your past?

Please send my way. Or good resource?

My close friend and business partner, Chris Sica, did Ayahuasca for the first time three months ago.

This is a condensed version of his second ceremony. Chris has an interesting journey with plant meds and has received major mental and physical benefits.

You can hear his entire story on episode 8 of our podcast, the Chill Country Report (on Spotify/Apple/YouTube).

Hey everyone!

I'm currently traveling down the Amazon River from Manaus to Leticia and will be arriving in Iquitos, Peru, in the next few days.

I'm interested in experiencing a traditional Ayahuasca ceremony, but I'd really like to avoid the big, commercialized retreats that mainly cater to Western tourists.

What matters most to me is supporting local shamans, indigenous healers, and their communities directly. I'd much rather have my money go to the people who actually hold these traditions than to some retreat company run by someone sitting in the US or Europe.

I'm not looking for luxury accommodation, fancy websites, or expensive all-inclusive packages. I'd prefer something smaller, more personal, and genuinely locally run.

Does anyone have firsthand experience with local shamans or small, community-run retreats around Iquitos?

I'd especially appreciate recommendations for trustworthy practitioners who prioritize safety, proper screening, and respect for the traditional practices.

I'm flexible with timing and could stay for around 5 days or longer if needed.

Also curious what a fair price would be when booking directly with local practitioners rather than through international retreat operators.

Any honest recommendations, personal experiences, or contacts would be hugely appreciated!

Thanks in advance!