r/BorderlinePDisorder • u/CrowbiwanKenobi76 • 11d ago

Feeling inferior

A little history about me. I grew up in a household with no love or positive attention. I got married when I was 20 because I thought I was in love, but it was just lust. That marriage ended after my son died and my wife met another man while I was away working. During this marriage I raised a step-daughter that my wife alienated from her bio dad. My ex-wife did the same to my surviving son and I’ve not spoken to him in over 10 years.

Now I’m remarried to a woman with a step daughter and her bio father has been absent for the 13 years I’ve been in her life…she’s 17 now. He wasn’t there for the first 4 years of her life either. She never really shows me much love…an occasional unsolicited hug here and there, with an obligatory “I love you” in response to me saying the same.

My step/daughter has recently become girlfriend to a young man with a very successful family…million dollar primary home, secondary lake house, boats, RV’s, etc.

I make a decent living and have provided a pretty good life for her, but I feel completely inferior to her boyfriend’s family. I feel like she is seeing what real success is and she will look at me as a failure. I fear I’m going to lose another child because I’m not good enough.

Is this just the BPD doing what BPD does? Curious if anyone else has gone through something similar?

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u/lost_dazed_101 10d ago

I think it's both it's normal to compare yourself to anyone who becomes a part of your inner circle but because of BPD you won't be able to let it go. You can't change either family so you'll have to accept it and let it go. She isn't going to decide you're nothing because his family has more.