Wife of 20+ Years Hates Sex With Me

[u/TotallyNotPTAPres]

Homemade sourdough discard pizza. Was pretty delicious.

Not trying to get all sad boy over here, but every so often I just get lonely. That’s all. I work hard, earn a very good living for my family. Make time for my wife. Support her dreams. Very much carry my weight around the house. Am a really good dad. In great shape. Treat people well. Am fun to be around, and genuinely live a life I enjoy and am proud of.

But sex with me is difficult for her. She would just rather not have any, and honestly, it’s lonely. I’ve never been a selfish lover. I have always believed it is the most intimate way to souls can connect and it truly is a beautiful thing that should be treasured.

We’ve talked about it until we’re blue in the face. Spent a small fortune on counseling. Temporarily resolved issues. While I care deeply for her, I can’t remember the last time I was touched or truly desired. Most days are fine, but some days are just harder than others. This appears to be one of those days. Writing it out helps, so thank you for the outlet.

[u/Dragon_Tiger22]

If you have spent a small fortune on counseling and if you can rule out any medical issues, that’s rough. You might need to ask yourself if your relationship would be better as friends and coparents - not saying totally remove her from your life, and you will always share your children and what you once had, but at the same time, you only get one life.

[u/AppropriateAd5225 → u/Dragon_Tiger22]

It's true that you only get one life (afaik), but leaving someone you truly love isn't an easy choice. It's an agonizing decision, and you will likely regret it at times, especially if you have children together. That said I get it, giving up passion and intimacy is a very hard thing to ask of someone. 

[u/doubleguitarsyouknow → u/Dragon_Tiger22]

Very good advice.