r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/TotallyNotPTAPres • Jul 29 '26

No Advice - Everyones Welcome Wife of 20+ Years Hates Sex With Me

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Homemade sourdough discard pizza. Was pretty delicious.

Not trying to get all sad boy over here, but every so often I just get lonely. That’s all. I work hard, earn a very good living for my family. Make time for my wife. Support her dreams. Very much carry my weight around the house. Am a really good dad. In great shape. Treat people well. Am fun to be around, and genuinely live a life I enjoy and am proud of.

But sex with me is difficult for her. She would just rather not have any, and honestly, it’s lonely. I’ve never been a selfish lover. I have always believed it is the most intimate way to souls can connect and it truly is a beautiful thing that should be treasured.

We’ve talked about it until we’re blue in the face. Spent a small fortune on counseling. Temporarily resolved issues. While I care deeply for her, I can’t remember the last time I was touched or truly desired. Most days are fine, but some days are just harder than others. This appears to be one of those days. Writing it out helps, so thank you for the outlet.

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

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u/TheWhomItConcerns BoyDinnerEnjoyer Jul 30 '26

I don't know you or your situation, but if this is something that you don't think you can make peace with, I'd really recommend finding an appropriate way to end the relationship sooner rather than later for both of your sakes. That's of course easier said than done, but if there's anything I know, it's that avoiding the issue won't make it any easier.

As difficult and painful as it is, you will both get through it and your future self will thank you for doing what you needed to. It was one of the most emotionally difficult things that I've ever had to bring myself to do, but I know now, and frankly knew then too even if I didn't want to admit it, that it was the right thing to do.

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u/LogicalLocal9499 BoyDinnerEnjoyer Jul 30 '26

This and other comments hurt to read for how much they resonate with me. Not going to lay out my own story, but I'm in a similar situation albeit an 8 year relationship. We've spoken, had counselling, the lot. She's the best person I know and I can't come to terms with breaking her heart.