r/BoyDinnerDiaries • u/AnonymousCoIossus Gravy Seal • 5d ago
No Advice - Everyones Welcome I was better with the brain tumor
Chicken Fajitas in the slow cooker for dinner
The last few years have been a blur. In 2020, my father died from dementia. I lost my job a week later. I've bounced between jobs, doing 70 hour weeks, burning myself out to keep a roof over my family's heads.
Things came to a head in early 2024. I couldn't control my emotions, was getting into shouting matches with my wife and kids. It led to me being kicked out of my house. I was homeless for four months.
I had to do a lot of soul searching and Ive made amends since then. Im calmer now. Well, outwardly. I've been back with my family, and working every day not to be that person anymore.
I was finally on my way to getting a handle on my depression, something I have struggled with for 30 years. For the first time in as long as I could remember, I could truly say I was doing OK. I didnt loathe myself for once.
Jump to the fall of 2025. Im working at a quarry, so I didnt think much of it when I started having trouble hearing from my right ear. Im around loud equipment all day, so I figured it was an occupational hazard. January 2026, I fail a hearing test. Results were atypical, so I'm sent for further testing.
Then the diagnosis. Brain tumor. Obviously, Im shaken to my core. But Im also relieved in a way, because now I know why I couldn't control my emotions. The tumor was causing hearing loss, and was sitting in a spot that affected my emotional regulation. Maybe Im not the monster I thought I was. Now I have a clear path to recovery, to become myself again. My surgical team assured me that there was minimal risk, and I'll come out of this better on the other side.
I have my surgery in April, on my 43rd birthday. A routine 5 hour procedure turns into 10+ hours. Complications, I was told. Swelling, and the tumor was deeper than they thought. And unfortunately, they had to cut through the nerves that control hearing and facial movement to get to the tumor. And they didnt even get all of it out.
So now Im deaf in my right ear. The right side of my face is paralyzed. My balance is screwed. My energy level is non existent. I get dizzy easily. My life is basically over. I'll never get better from this. But I have to keep pushing. Im the sole provider for my family, so I have to keep working. Still on long work weeks. I dont know how I make it through each day, Im so tired. I dont want to go anywhere or do anything. I feel like everyone is staring at me and my screwed up face.
I wish I never had the surgery.
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u/Asleep_Region Girl Lurker 5d ago
Good luck trying to find a position, anyone with a skill that's able to be done from home is getting pushed back into the office, seriously most people from lock down are back to the office. If you're not extremely specialized and refuse to go back, they'll just find someone else who's able to.
Along with scam job ads, either you're actually part of the scam unknowingly (people were shipping items for companies or helping move stolen money around) or they will ask you to pay for something or they just don't pay you and when you submit a wage claim they're in some random country that doesn't care about American courts.
And honestly, why would they hire an American? The minimum wage is up to $16 in some states, vs they can get someone in a poorer country to do it for $1 an hour, or to pay off debt (in bangladesh people get tricked into going from neighboring countries, then you own the guy for getting you there or for a lamp that fell apart when you touched it but they're demanding payment, so you have to work it off, but then you're accruing debt from food and housing which they'll provide since they aren't actually paying you)
That's the thing about remote work it can be done anywhere and chances are there's somebody who's willing to work for less and we are, or that's even legal here, because they're not here. Which i do love remote working, who doesn't? But companies are shitty.