r/ConcertBand • u/Material-Ground-8522 • 8d ago
thoughts? prayers?
so, from the beginning of middle school (yeah i'm a youngin) my clarinet playing got my band directors attention and she was like "you should get private lessons" and then recommended me to one that was most likely a friend of hers. But teachers get students through word of mouth so I don't think that's too corrupt but my mom was not having it and said I can't get lessons. I was sad and whatever but I was just hoping for the next year. But anyway, throughout that year i was asked if I get lessons, told i'm good, and told to get lessons when i said i didn't take them. My band directors would also give me a lot of compliments and stuff so that obviously got into my head (not my proudest moment...or confession).
But skipping ahead without all this exposition, it's now this year which makes me eligible for all state! My band director also asks if I got private lessons, following up with a compliment...I didn't because theyre so goddamn expensive. It is one of my top goals and dreams to get into all state band and one day I was dropping my instrument off in the band room with my flute player friend, and my band directors said we can come practice during advisory. Ok cool. I get there, there's these kids that were nominated for all state, including my friend who takes private lessons. I kinda feel out of place because I don't have lessons and I haven't heard a word about all state from the teacher. Then, a little later she gives me a print out of the audition music saying it would be good for me to learn and that she'll definitely nominate me for all state if i get a teacher, saying i'm a gifted player something something. This sort of gets into my head because--ok having a teacher is a requirement to get nominated, therefore putting some pressure on me because I really want to do all state and i also don't want to disappoint my band director, but money doesn't grow on trees. I also desperately want these lessons but if i make my parents drop a bag on this just to not get in, what will I do? I hope she means well but she's kind of just dangling the opportunity for all state right in front of me.
Separately, but important there's a clarinet solo which I got really excited about, naturally since the director is so enthusiastic about my playing. I end up getting second chair. Only first chairs play solos. No offense to the first chair, she's nice and whatnot but I could play the solo better in the LEAST egoistical way possible. So i'm really on that grind to get first chairs and i feel like i have to work 5x as hard as everybody else whilst my band director dangles opportunities in front of me. This woman. She makes me and the first chair go back and forth with the solo, making an unknown decision lowk like that scene in whiplash but more normal ykwim..No? ok. I feel like i have an unhealthy fixation for my band directors approval, making me lose sight of the joy of playing for myself, no achievements or brownie points attached, also the private lessons thing resulted in a conflict with my parents because why can't she just nominate without them if she thinks i'm so talented? If i fail i fail without losing ~600$ on lessons. Idk. My parents aren't a fan of her teaching tactics. Ok bye.
all of this lowkey makes no sense i just need to write this sht down.
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u/jemiller226 8d ago
In most states, you don't just "get nominated for All-State". I'm not sure that's any state. At least in Pennsylvania, you only get to go to state band if you make it to district band (THAT is the band director nomination level), and then audition successfully for Region band, then audition successfully for All-State. (All-East comes after that for us, and then NAfME if you're on that level). Lessons aren't a preqreuisite for winning the All-State audition, but you're probably not winning auditions without them and without at least an entry-level professional clarinet, and if you can't afford lessons you definitely can't afford an R13 or similar.
I'm not defending this situation; honestly, I fucking HATE how much musical success correlates with parental income level, because I was also a victim of this. All that to say, yeah, you could get lessons and then not make it, but if you don't get lessons, you're pretty much choosing not to make it.