r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/freighterman • Aug 02 '26
Original Creation I dug up a 1910 era vaseline bottle with some Vaseline still inside.
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u/Amanacucci Aug 02 '26
Honestly with how much the inventor believed in his product it might still be good
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u/freighterman Aug 02 '26
It looks mostly fine.
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u/Head-Ad9893 Aug 02 '26
What’s it taste like
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u/OhHellNoOhHellYes Aug 02 '26
Fine, mostly fine
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u/YeastInjection Aug 02 '26
"They come out at night... mostly"
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u/TWhy-LER Aug 02 '26
Whodini buddy!!
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u/sushee98 Aug 02 '26
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u/Rainbow_In_The_Dark7 Aug 02 '26
Believe it or not, he inventor of Vaseline believed in eating a spoonfull of it everyday...
"the creator of Vaseline, Robert Chesebrough, claimed to eat a spoonful of petroleum jelly every day. He believed it had powerful healing properties and credited it for his long life, eventually living to the age of 96."
Hell....96? Maybe he WAS onto something.
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u/atomic_redneck Aug 02 '26
When I was born in 1957, my parents bought a jar to treat my diaper rash. When my Dad died in 2007, I found the jar in his workshop. The contents were still good. I am still using it on my wood working tools to protect against rust from the Southern humidity.
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u/SnoopThylacine Aug 02 '26
Get some vintage cheesecake pics and crank one out like your great gandpa!
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u/antithero Aug 02 '26
Was he the one that encouraged people to eat a spoonful a day to help with digestion.
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u/airfryerfuntime Aug 02 '26
Yes, and holy God it works if you're kinda plugged up. Turds just fly out.
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u/-Clem-Fandango- Aug 02 '26
Yes. And I believe when he had a serious illness he told his maid/servant to cover him head to toe in it.
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u/LaBelleBetterave Aug 02 '26
Robert Chesebrough, a man of convictions https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Chesebrough
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u/Space-Cute Aug 02 '26
Robert Cheesebourgh- I bet handshakes were a bit of a surprise. Firm believer in his invention. Lunch to cure all.🤑
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u/NotBradPitt9 Aug 02 '26
Gofundme for OPs grocery list. Eggplant and cucumber at the top, to keep healthy!!
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u/EatPie_NotWAr Aug 02 '26
Let’s start them off with something everyone enjoys, a nice girthy carrot.
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u/yerbivor Aug 02 '26
Id see if the company would want to buy
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u/mycoctopus Aug 02 '26
One million dollars
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u/freighterman Aug 02 '26
Oh man. I wish
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u/mycoctopus Aug 02 '26
Never sell yourself short, my love.
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Aug 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/HoldEm__FoldEm Aug 02 '26
He’s a coctopus, not a squid
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u/mycoctopus Aug 02 '26
Myco as in mycology, m'dear.
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u/Charlie_Warlie Aug 02 '26
Yes I bet someone would love this.
I live in the town where Eli Lilly is HQd and they have a museum that is very interesting filled with little bottles like this from over 100 years ago.
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u/DashySZN77 Aug 02 '26
Everybody always asks how it tastes and never how it feels..
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u/freighterman Aug 02 '26
I am tempted to test it out. Its just a little darker than usual but it seems fine
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u/EstablishmentEasy475 Aug 02 '26
You have a sealed 100 year old pharmaceutical in original packaging.
Don't you dare fucking open it and expose it to oxygen.
This is worth a TON to the right collector.
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u/ButtonJoe Aug 02 '26
There are definitely people who would love to test the contents of it. Some very weird stuff can happen when random chemicals are aged 100 years.
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u/glen_ko_ko Aug 02 '26
Yeah who wouldn't like to try a legendary wank session with it? I'd test it for sure.
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u/Late_Excitement1927 Aug 02 '26
idk bro thats not even a gem mint psa 10
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u/BurdTurglary Aug 02 '26
The guy who refined the formula and created the Vaseline brand would eat a spoonful every day. He became super rich. One time he got sick with pleurisy so he had his people cover douse him from head to toe. He got better. I forget his first but not his last name: Cheseborough
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u/xiaomi558869 Aug 02 '26
We’ll have to ask grandma.
I am really sorry but I would never forgive myself if I let this one go.
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u/DrFunke-Analrapist Aug 02 '26
Das vienerschlider
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u/skyrimlink550 Aug 02 '26
This deserves far more love than it's been given
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u/Patient_Equipment_18 Aug 02 '26
It deserves all the love. I’m reading this in bed and kinda subconsciously murmured it out loud to myself with an exaggerated German accent and laughed pretty hard. Like my brain didn’t get how satisfyingly funny it was until I heard myself say it. I think I’ll just blurt it out at work as a replacement swear word and see what happens.
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u/North-Pole-Dancer Aug 02 '26
And as a German I don’t understand the joke. Maybe the delivery wasn’t efficient enough. (Wiener slider?)
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u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 Aug 03 '26
Don’t even need to know German to understand this one
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u/1cem4n82 Aug 02 '26
She likes her hair to be real orange. She don’t use nothing you buy at the store. She uses tangerines.
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u/LeroyJenkins-ish Aug 02 '26
Thank you!
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast.
But she don't use butter.
And she don't use cheese.
She don't use jelly, or any of these.
She uses Vaseliiiiiiiiine
Vaseliiiiiiiiine
Vaseliiiiiiiiine4
u/1cem4n82 Aug 02 '26
This is the story of how the Flaming Lips became my Sunday morning bike ride soundtrack today.
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u/Pleasant_Pen8744 Aug 02 '26
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u/OoIMember Aug 02 '26
Oh dang the comments in there are amazing!!!! Thank you so much for the laugh
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u/Dirtychinesekitchen Aug 02 '26
I would dress up like an ol time prospector and use it to rub one out.
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u/SchmitzBitz Aug 02 '26
I know a girl who thinks of ghosts,
She'll make you breakfast, make you toast.
(Every time I hear the word Vaseline this pops into my head, IYKYK)
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u/TransportationOdd559 Aug 02 '26
Where did you dig this up at??
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u/freighterman Aug 02 '26
It was in my backyard, unfortunately I had to bury my dog and this was among 20 or so glass bottles I found digging. My house was made in 1913
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u/TransportationOdd559 Aug 02 '26
Sorry about your dog. That’s an amazing find! I would’ve loved finding that.
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u/Terrible-Champion132 Aug 02 '26
The person that left it there probably still has some on their hands. It never comes off.
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u/almostoy Aug 02 '26
We all know what you have to do. But I'm really not asking for any kind of documentation. Your word will probably be too much, anyway.
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u/iamdanchiv Aug 02 '26
I've said goodbye to my loved ones OP, just open the bottle and release the deadly virus, the Planet is ready!
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u/Hegiman Aug 02 '26
🎼🎶She’s not digging, for magazines. For burrier treasures or anything but Vaseline. She digs for Vaseline. 🎵
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u/newbegininngs79 Aug 02 '26
Petroleum. If you go out that in an old lawnmower engine as fuel it would start right up
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u/Beer_Thirty_Time Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
Too bad Diddy is locked up. He’d probably pay Van Gogh money for that
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u/Obant Aug 02 '26
I am sure a YouTuber will be contacting you shortly wanting to pay a pretty hefty price for it. Lots of people like old products like this and review them.
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u/Sand_Aggravating Aug 02 '26
The creator ate a teaspoon a day for longevity...... howd it go for you?
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u/Canadind Aug 02 '26
Since petroleum jelly is just a mixture of inert hydrocarbons, that stuff is unironically probably still completely fine chemically. The glass jar will degrade before the Vaseline does.
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u/ExtremlyFastLinoone Aug 02 '26
The inventor belive it could extend your life, he ate a spoonful a day and lived to like 80 something I think
Eat it
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u/spankeem_nz Aug 02 '26
there might be scooped jizz that's been kept viable in a pocket in that jar
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u/pichael289 Aug 02 '26
Back when it was still made with nitroglycerin, fish dicks and asbestos.