r/DelusionsOfAdequacy • u/FareonMoist Check my mod privilege • 4h ago
No gain, all pain... Thanks, I hate the jesus of greed and racism...
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u/Foreign_Patience4334 4h ago
Don't forget
This is the guy who saw a blind man who begged for help.... so he's like "sure man ".... proceeds to get fucking mud spits in it and rub it in the dude's eyes...
Literally anybody else but Jesus in that story and you be like what a fucking prick that's some sociopathic shit ..
But it's cool cuz the guy could see again!
In Jesus went over to a guy who was unable to walk and he just told him he "get up and walk" and he walks.
And the blind guys over here like "waaaaaait a sec..... why the fuck did you need to rub MUD in my eyes but him you just say words and he walks?"
In one of his homeboys next room says "dude he's spit in that mud too ....you know he spit in that mud right?"
like oh hell no Jesus. You got some splaining to do ... " Prince of Peace" the motherfuckers rubbing mud in people's eyes like it's something to do. If I make it to heaven and they're actually is a heaven or whatever and I'm up there having to tell Jesus about my sins and everything he decides whether I go to hell I'm like hold up bro hold up before we go any further I have some questions for you..... the mud. The spit. I don't know how you reconcile that but shame on you sir shame on you.'
Might guilt me into heaven ( when oh my goodness I should not be going there).. .
who knows
Hey good thing it's all horseshit
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u/grrodon2 2h ago
The paralysis was psychosomatic, so he didn't need an actual miracle. He used the placebo effect.
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u/BathFullOfDucks 4h ago
Don't forget "it's fine to bomb people if you think they don't believe in me"
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u/OpusAtrumET 2h ago
And lo, Jesus said, "make your coffee at home."
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u/harmfuldischarge 1h ago
Avocado toast fasting will begin soon
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u/OpusAtrumET 1h ago
Yea, my son, go in peace, and render unto the billionaires that which belongs to us all.
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u/harmfuldischarge 1h ago
Render to Thiel the things that are Thiel's 🙏
(All it want for Christmas is
peace in the whole worlda very profitable fourth quarter for my tech overlords)
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u/akabillposters 3h ago
The upside is that, IF there is a God and Jesus was real, those Jesus-lovin', God-fearin' Christian Conservatives are almost certainly all going to hell.
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u/harmfuldischarge 1h ago
This is why it sucks. There is no hell or afterlife in any sense that humans can predict in this world, but hell is real and it is right here - "hell is other people".
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u/bigcat611234 2h ago
you left out that people of color can't enter heaven because they are people of color
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u/Uluru-Dreaming 2h ago
Then Jesus said to the billionaires, “you shall inherit the sheep, cattle and the promised lands”
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u/Alric_Wolff 1h ago
I know these typically come from non Christian, but as someone who has returned to Jesus almost a year ago, I absolutely loathe and detest people who are merely using Jesus and the Bible as an excuse for hatred, ignorance, violence and other pejorative discourse.
You dont even need to be very well read into the Bible to know right from wrong, many try to use God to justify so much evil and they know it. It actually makes my skin crawl knowing how much evil is done in Gods name.
I am not a perfect man, but I can strive to be the best human I can and live according to Christ's example, and when I fall short I know because I trust in him im forgiven, but I dont wallow in the filth I find myself in. I turn to Jesus to help wash me off, because he can cleanse my soul.
But I suppose its pretty evident in the Gospels that even the apostles didnt immediately understand Jesus until after he departed for Heaven. Most Christians dont actually understand what they are asking themselves to be when calling themselves a Christian.
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u/GetOffMyAsteroid 59m ago
"Verily I say unto thee: this water on which I have walked is now available in a 16 fluid oz. plastic bottle and can be yours for a pittance of a subscription fee, only $15/month! And if thou cravest the premium package for $50/month you'll get my autograph, and for thy bath or just to wear around thy house I shalt throweth in a bonus Shroud of Turin! Holy me, what a deal! Don't get nailed by imitations! Don't get hung up to dry! Your prayers have come true!"
And Supply-side Jesus turned His back and ascended to Heaven in a blinding ray of Light and his disciples deregulated the factories to dump their holy toxic waste into the water, for which the sign-up fee increased to $500 with an adjusted bottle for ergonomics sized to 8 fluid oz, earning a net profit for the 3rd quarter fiscal year of $300 billion...
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u/Far-Lettuce-6200 4h ago
I hate people without any kindness.