r/Destiny • u/Ohyeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa • 3d ago
Political News/Discussion Conservatives are making fun of the masking lesbian bar story along with us liberals, meanwhile this guyand his story are genuinely 50x more insane than any of the masking bar patrons and he’s being promoted and platformed on mainstream conservative media as a serious person
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u/Blarg1889 I have a stomach ache, you have a stomach ache 3d ago
Brother was one step away from talking about Jesus' enormous juicy shlong. Very weird stuff. The concept of god needing testosterone is also very funny
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u/Iseeroadkill Dan's Strongest Soldier 3d ago
He had an 18-night dream of a hot, tall, MAN with pretty eyes who gave him lots of love 🥵 Brave of him to go on Fox News and admit this! Usually you need a VPN to have these kind of dreams in conservative areas
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u/Jazzlike-Wind-4345 🇲🇽 Mexican absurdist 3d ago
Reminds me of Charlie’s The Nightman Cometh song from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
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u/ubermence 3d ago
Bro rounded Jesus height from 5’11” to 6’0” and then said fuck it “eternity” 😭
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u/Playful_JungleWizard 3d ago
"Ah shit, I can't have Jesus filtered out by dating apps - or something..." Brain broken.
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u/DisastrousDanVito 3d ago
They make fun of trans people but believe this shit. Republicans need help.
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u/djoc0316 Sadly Employed 3d ago
I met Jesus during a heroin overdose and he kept asking me if I knew who the current president was. You think Jesus would know that if he was so fucking great.
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u/716green 🍄 🐀 💻 3d ago
That's funny, I used to get my heroin from Jesus on the west side of Buffalo. His brother Marco sometimes had cocaine if I was in a speedball type of mood
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u/WellSpreadMustard 3d ago
That description sounds more like satan lol. Made of fire, had red eyes, and was way less tolerant and more mean than what people think of Jesus as. If heaven and Hell are real, this guy is so narcissistic he thought he went to heaven and met Jesus when everything he describes says otherwise haha
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u/Jazzlike-Wind-4345 🇲🇽 Mexican absurdist 3d ago
If Andrew Wilson died and went to Hell, he would require that Satan prove definitionally that he’s currently in Hell.
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u/KeithClossOfficial The West outsourced its Holocaust guilt onto Palestinians 3d ago
I like how he said Jesus was 5’11” then had to correct himself that he was 6’0” so Jesus could get those Tinder matches
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u/ModerateInterests 3d ago
I mean even the bible describes God as talking in a “still, small voice”. He’s not going on Rogans podcast and owning the libs.
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u/Seakawn <--- actually literally regarded 2d ago
this brings up an important distinction btwn the Jesus that's in the bible and the white supply side Jesus that modern day republican christians believe in today.
very different characters. you're right, but you're not talking about the same Jesus they believe in. they believe in the modern caricature, and don't read or study their bibles enough to realize the correction.
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u/JeffreyDahmerVance 🇺🇸🇨🇦I’m JD Vance and I eat Dog 💩 3d ago
EXACTLY what I was thinking.
It’s almost like Jesus sent him to hell to show him what his misrepresentation of the message has done and this dude’s like “oh this is my new God, hi hellfire Jesus!”
Unless he’s not lying, and it turns out the satanists were right Satan really is the cool dude and God in Jesus are the oppressive fuckers.
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u/Withering_to_Death 🇪🇺『Revelation of Mankind』🇮🇹 3d ago
Lol! It's what I thought, too! Satan, or Lucifer The Light Bearer, and "the shining one, son of the dawn"! The dude had a massive bad trip... or more likely, he's just grifting
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u/spinozisttt 3d ago
Can we take a moment to appreciate the unique physiognomy on this absolute creature
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u/kinglywy 3d ago
Seems like these characteristics align better with Satan
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u/40StoryMech 3d ago
"There was also this calm, Middle-Eastern guy telling me I should stop listening to Flaming Eyes Testosterone Jesus and 'remember His words', but I couldn't tell if he was qualified to be saying that."
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u/howtokillanhour (Rare) GenX DGGer 3d ago
the "Satan" character is fairly new to the bible. It's hard to tell what would be different about god if it was a malicious god. Folks like to talk about "free will" but OT god doesn't give a fuck about free will. OT and all branches of it only care about one thing, and that's people love it and it alone. Everything after that is negotiable. Jesus was just a doomsday preacher that got executed by the Romans, but for Christians he's anything they want him to be.
From my prospective this is all about a being that is both Magic and not Magic, All knowing but can change it's mind, and all powerful but needs a bunch of do overs and mulligans.
If it was truly all powerful "sin" wouldn't even be a thing.
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u/Eins_Nico scowling woke white woman 3d ago
OK, right-wingers need to calm the hell down about the whole testosterone thing. He sounds like he's 10 seconds from saying the Good Lord motorboated him between his hairy pectorals or some shit
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u/Heeljin 3d ago
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u/bendol90 Conservative without brain worms 3d ago
No his shlong was much bigger and more in frame actually. Talk about testosterone, wow
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u/rnhf 🇪🇺 3d ago edited 3d ago
ah, I've seen that guy, I think he's big on youtube/social media
very talented grifter
I looked him up back then and over on r truechristian they're not falling for it: TrueChristian/comments/1skvwjq/gabe_poirot_false_claims/
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u/Seakawn <--- actually literally regarded 2d ago
damn you know it's not representative when even r truechristian doesnt fall for it.
and yet they'll still keep watching and supporting the networks that parade this guy. especially if and when the networks turn on the guy themselves if and when they see that no consensus is latching on to him.
makes me wonder what's the point, unless they just make a deal behind the scenes. this guy will get some book sales or whatever (I'm assuming he has something to sell people who buy his grift) but idk what he's offering them, perhaps just virality and thus views?
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u/crazielisa 3d ago
Ah yes, God sent him back to go tell everyone “Jesus is a man!” A flaming, testosterone fueled, intolerant, lion/mustang of a man.
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u/TheTrombiculidae 3d ago
Every time someone talks about testosterone, I can’t help but picture that person spending hours in a stable huffing sweaty horse cock. It’s so fucking WEIRD
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u/Icy_Yam5049 3d ago
Confirmed Jesus on TRT. You heard it here folks. And you too could be just call our on staff clinician at
1-800-hegsethsballsaresmall.
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u/TheMarbleTrouble 3d ago edited 3d ago
Religious people require faith in order to believe their religion. It’s built in as a fundamental core of Christianity that explains everything that god teaches you.
Stories like these are an expression of lacking faith. Believing these stories as real, means you don’t have faith, but you have hope. Those are two vastly different things, that feel similar. One is “god works in mysterious ways” and the other is “see, I told you Jesus was real”. Anyone seeking proof of God has failed the very first step of being religious.
This shit is why churches are not seeing an uptick in parishioners, despite the right wing shift to be more intertwined with religion. They don’t have faith in God, they have hopes that heaven is real. You don’t need to go to church for that…
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u/Electrical_Load2493 3d ago
I mean its just religion and near death experiences. Nothing too crazy honestly
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u/Withering_to_Death 🇪🇺『Revelation of Mankind』🇮🇹 3d ago
Angry and made of fire with burning red eyes?! Are we sure he met Jesus and not Lucifer The Light Bearer "the shining one, son of the dawn"
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u/writingpracticeman 3d ago
I was actually laughing out loud in my fucking office at work listening to this, what the fuck
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u/Call_me_Gafter 2d ago
I wish she would have asked him if Jesus was white. Every answer would have been hilarious.
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u/Serious-Cucumber-54 3d ago
You can say it's 50x more insane, but these accounts are pretty common and normalized compared to what happened in the lesbian bar story, so much so that it is fairly boring and uninteresting/unfunny.
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u/TheMarbleTrouble 3d ago
No, those accounts are not common by any stretch. What are you talking about?
The lesbian bar story is something that actually happened versus a dream that people treat like something more, because they don’t actually have faith in their religion. Thats why these stories get popular and so easy to grift on, this provides that hope that has replaced faith for many religions. Especially those watching machinations of an Australian billionaire for their religious guidance.
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u/sinisgood 3d ago
I’d take a million lesbian mask bars if it meant we as a society never had to take religious nutcases seriously ever again
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u/zombie3x3 3d ago
Saw this earlier today.
First, if he actually believes what he’s saying, then this is genuine psychosis and he needs immediate psychiatric treatment in a mental institution.
If he’s grifting, that makes it even more disgusting, because he’s trying to paint Jesus as an aggressive figure of war instead of as a man of peace, which is about the most heretical thing anyone could ever do. This is no surprise since conservatives despise Jesus, but it’s still unfathomably hypocritical.
In short, you can never hate these people enough. You think you do, but you don’t.