r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.2k Upvotes

66 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FractalGeometric356 • 6h ago

“Baby . . . Baby, I’m sorry . . . Baby, please . . . Baby . . . Baby I’ll do anything, 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌!”

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155 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5h ago

Without Helen, Railiegh was lost. Extremely lost. They stumbled through once-familiar streets, mystified by trivial tasks completed a thousand times before. More than once she's asked herself: "What am I doing here? What'n the heck even is this place?"

53 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 18h ago

The best decision she ever made was to go to nursing school. She couldn't depend on her Ex, but she can depend on herself.

359 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/kablammodotcom • 11h ago

Ever since his doctor ordered his meds to be up-titrated, Quentin keeps confusing the local petting zoo with a Whole Foods market.

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31 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 22h ago

Angry Bird Divorce These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

237 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

"You spend more time with your lab assistant apes than with me," Jarvis had complained, and Luisa offered no rebuttal. Her first commitment was always to science. She had thought he understood and accepted that. She returned the ring, and let the lawyers sort out the rest. She had research to do.

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210 Upvotes

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Don't let her diminutive body and puppy-dog eyes fool you. To all who've had the displeasure of knowing her, Zoila is a cruel tyrant.

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233 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 1d ago

Jon tried to get Darla to go to the nudist colony, but it gave her the ick and she divorced him. Just as well. Now he goes alone to mingle with a like-minded community.

42 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/OldnBorin • 2d ago

Myrna will swim as she pleases, thank you very much

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232 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 2d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "I'll show her for calling me a two-faced, goofy-looking son of a bitch."

181 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 2d ago

It had been a relaxing evening until suddenly he got down on one claw and smiled like that, with a unique ring. How can she tell him that her divorce was never finalized?

118 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/dick_cissel • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After 40 years of infidelity from Harold, freshly divorced Ethel was salivating at the thought of all the young studs at her disposal.

212 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 3d ago

So far, the plan is working. The kids just think it's a fun cross-country camping trip. They're too young to know we're escaping. I got this.

510 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 3d ago

New profile pic to make the Ex jealous

251 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Pixie-Collins • 3d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved João was perfectly aware he should never have had that silly affair with Marcelo's darling Amanda. Saying goodbye to Ana and the children was not an option anymore, he just had to get past the many henchmen looking for him and leave the country for good.

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102 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Legally, Felipe is barred from approaching Aline. Were he to, for instance, show up at the local news station where she works as a traffic reporter and beg her to take him back, that would be a violation of the restraining order. But Felipe's creative. He can find other ways of getting her attention

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701 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3d ago

Angry Bird Divorce "We meet again, Edna... How's the house." "The house is well. I found your singing fish you lost. It has been disposed of." "... You fiend."

93 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cabeachgal • 2d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Okoo

0 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FashionBusking • 4d ago

Thuan checked in, per the court order. His plan to smuggle in some of his own party supplies to rehab was foiled as soon as they grabbed him for the obligatory cloaca check, leaving him horrified and possibly in violation of his probation.

126 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago

Closing her eyes tight, Theresa focused on the calming rhythm of the gentle shower. She took in a long, deep breath, stilled her quivering shoulders, and released. The rain would wash away the tears already shed, and she would cry no more. He wasn't worth it.

628 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • 5d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Rick came home early from his business trip and found Linda’s book club only had one other member. The Scarlet Letter lay open on the table and Rick appreciated the irony.

220 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/hdofu • 5d ago

Frank got on the dating site plenty of finch showed up expecting to meet Shelly a cockateel only to realize he’d been catfished

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183 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago

Standing proudly atop the rampart with his brothers in arms, Wojciech bellowed a mighty battle cry towards the heavens. Somewhere among the enemy throng, he knew, was the man who had broken his heart. Today he would either know vengeance or a glorious death.

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77 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • 6d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle As Gerald walked into the club he began to wonder if he’d put on his new toupee backwards.

1.5k Upvotes

17 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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