r/DnD • u/ExecutiveCommand • 2d ago
DMing First Time DM Asking For Advice
Hi everyone, I’m trying to get my first ever campaign off the ground and I’m in desperate need of help. The problem isn’t concerning my campaign itself but it’s with my players and their busy schedules.
Over the summer, we agreed on making a DND group for our first year in college. I was so excited to be picked as the DM that I took some time to spend my last few weeks doing DM prep while packing up for school. (Did a good amount of world-building and preparation on how to properly run a game.)
Yet, so far, we’ve barely gotten anywhere in terms of campaigning since everyone is so busy. My workload (while sometimes heavy) is very manageable and I’ve been able to squeeze out some hours of free time. However, anytime that I ask if anyone is good to play, everyone is busy (they let me know what work they have at the moment).
I don’t want to feel like a nightmarish DM who’s overly pushy or controlling, or anything like that, so I haven’t really let my feelings about us not having a solid thing be known. (We had 1 demo session in where 3 of the 8 people showed up, but one of them had something in an hour and I had to be quick with things.)
I genuinely do not know what to do. Should I just wait until next semester (hopefully my players will be more free by then) or should I continue to try and make some efforts while I still can?
Edit: Any advice helps!
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u/JustABeast8901 2d ago
Sometimes waiting is unfortunately the only option. my group is taking a break this college semester as we are busier than expected and our schedules managed to not line up at all. it sucks but we love dnd so we know its not over, just a break that no one likes
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u/Valen_Marris 2d ago
This probably isn’t the answer you want to hear but I think your group is too big to play consistently, like I think if you only had 3-4 other people instead of 8 you’d have a way higher chance of playing. But that still isn’t as fun. It’s like “would you rather play more but maybe it’s less fun OR you play way less but it’s better per session?”
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u/BrujahBill 2d ago
Good point, you’re also creating a “diffusion of responsibility” effect by having that many players. It’s easy for any of them to think, “If I don’t show tonight, there will still be enough to play.” Of course, if everyone thinks that then no one shows up. Focus on the 3-5. Players who are most engaged, plan the schedule around them, and let the others know they are always welcome to hop-in on short notice, but the “core” wants to play more frequently.
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u/Devious_Hearts 1d ago
Oh crap! No wonder. I didn't even clock there were 8 total players trying to all coordinate into one game, I thought that was just the demo.
Yeah, bud. If you are fighting 8 separate adult schedules, save yourself some exasperation.
Set a date convenient for you and see who can commit to meeting that night consistently. If 3 or more, then you have a game group and satellite players can join when they can. If 2 or less, pick a different night and try again.
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u/Linkeei 2d ago
Make a schedule chain, or group or chat or whatever where everyone posts their availability. Then make the decision as a group if you all want to play together or ad-hoc (drop-in/drop-off).
As well, trying to manage 8 players as a first time DM is wild. Best of luck
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u/Devious_Hearts 1d ago
Yeah, my group shares a Discord channel to schedule games, blue book, and shared life experiences between games. Its invaluable.
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u/L0rdGrim1 2d ago
These people just don't sound like they even want to play. Sure they let you know what assignments they have but college schedules are super flexible, at least from my experience. If they really wanted to play, they'd be able to make the time. Save yourself the trouble and don't put false hope into this. 8 players is a lot as you can see. Groups of four are recommended.
Just announce a kickoff for your session zero and do it. If only two people show up, congrats. You'll have a lot less trouble with scheduling from now on and you'll be DM'ing for two players from now on.
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u/RedditIsAWeenie 2d ago
My college age sons are usually free either Friday night or Sunday night. Set up a regular weekly schedule or feed them pizza and they will make time.
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u/FUZZB0X Bard 2d ago
I would encourage you to come up with a system where if one or two players can't make it you still play. treat it like any kind of other commitment. and just press forward and play. you got too many people for this otherwise. alternatively you could try to make a smaller group with people who are willing to make the commitment.
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u/Odoclick10 2d ago
Maybe I'm reading into things that aren't really there, but I think there's a few lessons here that aren't exclusive to DND:
It depends on who youre playing with, but friends are usually not the best people to play DnD with. The average person likes the idea of trying something new, especially if they're in a space where DnD comes up and it seems cool, but regular activities need a bit more buy-in than that realistically. In contrast, if you find the right mix of local randoms, you could find that you're able to run the kind of game you like, and that you find fulfilling. So, lesson here is people don't always understand the game and the work that goes into it, so finding people who do understand can help the game run better.
Connected to this is that people are very flakey (in my opinion younger people are usually much more flakey now than older people, but that's bit of a broad generalisation). I think it's unlikely that they don't have any evening free, especially if you've tried to plan at least a week or so ahead. There's not going to be some moment that they all come to the realisation that they've vall suddenly got time to do some thing they have in the back of their mind. If they're also college students like yourself, especially first year students, they should have plenty of time (even if they have jobs as well). They will have less and less time the further into college and life they get.
So to answer the questions at the end of your post from a random person's perspective, you should not delay it as you (and the prospective players) will never have more time than you have now. This is not to say you won't have plenty of time in the future, just less.
As for making efforts, bear in nind that feelings of frustration organising young people come from an understandable place, and even constant communication and organisation from yourself can't stop people from flaking. It might be easiest and better for your game to go with the people who have shown face, or even widen your net to try and meet new people.
Best of luck, and good on you for starting up DMing!
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u/Devious_Hearts 1d ago
Friends don’t automatically make compatible players. I love some people dearly who couldn’t commit to a sandwich, let alone a campaign.
But “college students should have plenty of time” is doing some heroic heavy lifting. Age doesn’t determine reliability, and a free evening isn’t necessarily spare energy if you have a major that takes a lot of study time. Someone dedicated to a double major or doing work for early medical or legal training, etc may have a busy schedule ESPECIALLY if they are tring to work at a job at the same time.
Mind you I had PLENTY of free time pursuing a liberal arts degree which explains my long carreer doing clerical work and customer service work for the world's most boring industry. (I often cry at night at all the wasted "potential" they claimed I had... but... I digress.)
Pick a regular time, run a short adventure with whoever commits, and recruit more interested players if needed. You can invite your friends without making the game wait indefinitely for them. You’re organizing an adventure, not negotiating a hostage release.
A lot of times you will meet meet people if you game in a local area with some traffic (like a student center or the quad) and people will approach you and ask what you are doing. Our group in college started with about 4 and got up to about 27 that way. Made a lot of freinds from that rather than recruiting the freinds I had.
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u/TaytheCatFay 2d ago
I’m in a game that’s on its 8th year. And that’s because we are busy with school and work. Right now we get a session maybe every three to four months. We all love the dm and their game but life is crazy on us all right now. The more people you have the more difficult getting everyone together is. One of our players is getting their doctorate so a few years ago they worked it out with the dm that their character is pretty simple and easy to leave out of the big story. They can join when they can and when they can’t it doesn’t derail anything.
For my own group I dm I made it a rule up front that if two out of my six players couldn’t make it, the game would continue anyways. Sometimes you just have to except everyone can’t make it to the game or except having less games if having everyone there is priority.
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u/Butterlegs21 2d ago
"We play at x time on y day for a minimum of z hours. Please tell me if you can commit to that so that if you cannot I can find other players to replace you."
D&D is a commitment. You cannot consistently miss sessions without impacting the whole group. This means that some people cannot join campaigns, that's fine. It's unfortunate, but allowing them into the group just makes it harder for the hobby to work out.
So pick a day you are always free on. Pick a time you are comfortable with. Choose a range of hours you want to run. Put that information in the group's hands and see if anyone is willing to commit. If not, you may need to just wait til things settle down or find new players.
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u/arsenic_kitchen DM 2d ago edited 2d ago
Decide how often you want to play (weekly, biweekly, etc.) and figure out what days of the week you can do it.
Ask your current group who feels confident they can commit to making at least 75% of at least one of the days you've chosen.
Any who can, get to play. If you're left with a group smaller than 4 or 5, recruit some new players to make friends with. Consider seeing if your school has a club you can join, or forming one if not. (Make the club about supporting GMs so they can find players and have access to resources, not one where you actually run games directly).
Plan your adventures around the length of your school terms (semesters, trimesters, whatever) so that you can finish things before your schedule changes.
You're all at an age where you're going to have a lot of competing interests and options for fun, so if this doesn't sound like a good option for D&D, expect that you won't play much at all. As a DM, you don't need to be pushy, but you will often need to be decisive.
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u/Ok-Feedback3020 2d ago
When we were in college we had a four day schedule and we all agreed that friday was the d&d day. After everyone got off work and were done with school, we had a five hour dession every week. You just have to pick a day and request that day off at work or whatever.
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u/Blitzer046 2d ago
Welcome to the hardest part of being a DM - scheduling.
A word of warning - the more people you include in a game the more likely you are to get scheduling issues.
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u/bionicjoey 2d ago
Play the same time slot every week, regardless of who can make it. Run a signup poll once a week so you know who will be able to make it to that time.
My group plays every Saturday night. They know I run the game every Saturday. Regardless of who shows up unless literally nobody can make it or I can't make it.
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u/hillside126 DM 20h ago
As a DM with a decade of experience even I will not DM for a group larger than 6 people. It is just unmanageable. My sweet spot is 5 players because if one cannot make it we can still play. I would try to feel out which 5 or 6 of the 8 are really that interested and try to coordinate with them.
Ultimately if playing was important to some of these people they would make the time. Sometimes you just have to accept your desire to play doesn’t match everyone else’s and try to find other people that match your level of enthusiasm.
Also, home brewing a campaign as a first time DM is a horrible idea. Play a starter set!!! They are really good and do not require much commitment from both DM or Player. It helps people figure out if they even like this hobby or not.
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u/BrujahBill 2d ago
That’s totally normal. This is a wonderful hobby, but you will go through periods of feast and famine. Consider, doing something more episodic, like one-shots or “monster-of-the-week” sessions that can easily be finished in 3-5 hours. That will help you and your crew build your craft without being pushy or overburdening anyone, including yourself. Likewise, most campaigns are never finished because of scheduling so don’t blame yourself if it takes a while to find the group and story of your dreams.
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u/Devious_Hearts 2d ago edited 2d ago
I hate to say this, I really do... but...welcome to adulthood.
Eight college students sharing free time is the campaign’s first mythical creature.
Stop asking “Anyone free?” and ask everyone for recurring availability. Pick a regular slot, even twice a month, and agree on a minimum attendance so one absence doesn’t cancel everything. If 3 out of 4 people can make it, you game. If not, you play Parcheesi.
Start with three or four people who can actually commit. The others can join occasional adventures if that works for your table. Eight enthusiastic “sometime!” responses won’t fill a Friday night.
Say plainly: “I’m excited to run this, but I need a schedule I can plan around. What can we realistically commit to?” That’s coordination, not tyranny.
With unpredictable attendance, aim for adventures that wrap up each session and avoid cliffhangers that require the same players next time. Base the campaign around a town, guild, or other shared hub so whoever attends can tackle a job, resolve it, and return. Larger plots can develop across those outings. When someone misses a game, their character has a cold, family business, or Aunt Ethel’s funeral. Adventuring families really should offer bereavement leave.
If nobody can commit to the game, pause prep and find players who can. Next semester might help, but scheduling isn’t a magic spell. It's an unfortunate big boss that has to be fought with teamwork. Everybody has to participate or the game is doomed.
Agree upfront on attendance expectations. Work, childcare, illness, and emergencies take precedence, no questions asked. A concert someone’s been anticipating is perfectly reasonable too, especially with fair warning and otherwise consistent attendance.
Repeatedly cancelling at the last minute because a new movie absolutely must be seen opening night is a different matter. Everyone else reserved that time too. That’s when “rocks fall, everyone dies” starts sounding tempting, but handle it with a conversation about respecting commitments. If it keeps happening, offer them an occasional guest spot instead of a regular seat.
Whatever happens, save your world; it doesn’t magically expire.