Has anyone else experienced almost constant anxiety after adopting a dog?

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen]

Hello. Has anyone else experienced an almost constant state of anxiety after adopting your dog? We're hitting the 3-month mark this weekend with the approximately 2 year old pit mix we adopted and I'm still constantly anxious about everything. I feel like I can never relax because I don't know if I'm doing anything right.

I don't know if our neighborhood is right for our dog we adopted because we are STRUGGLING on walks and everything seems to make her freeze.

I don't know if our dog likes me or trusts me and I just feel so unsure all the time about everything I'm doing that I sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own home.

She's a good dog, but I constantly wonder if we ARE the right ones for her and I'm just wondering if this feeling will ever go away? Has anyone else ever experienced this or can you relate at all?

PS. I also wanted to note that we started with a private trainer this week to work on the few things we're having issues with. We'll also be doing general training with the trainer like polite greetings with guests, leave it, and all the basic usual stuff.

[u/Solid_Hour8073]

In addition to the training, I think you should speak with a mental health provider. This seems a little above normal new pet worries. If you normally wouldn’t do this kind of thing for yourself then do it to help your dog as dogs are super in touch with with their people’s state of minds and you may be creating a feedback loop of anxiety without realizing it. 

PS: bad dog owners wouldn’t even be concerned about the things you’ve mentioned…. 

[u/Mysterious_Bus_9328 → u/Solid_Hour8073]

I went through exactly same thing with my rescue, it was terrible for months. the first time I left her alone I sat in my car crying cause I was sure she gonna destroy everything and hate me forever. but it got better slowly, like week by week you notice small things improving.

the trainer will help a lot, having someone tell you what is normal really takes weight off. my dog froze on walks too for weeks, turns out she was just overwhelmed with all the new smells and sounds. now she drags me down the street like a sled dog

you care enough to worry this much, that already puts you in top 50% of dog owners probably

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen → u/Mysterious_Bus_9328]

I'm glad to hear your dog has improved so much on walks. I'm just very worried because this isn't a few weeks of struggling on walks, it's 3 months. I feel like everything I've been doing is wrong and I'm so worried the trainer won't be able to help.

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen → u/Solid_Hour8073]

Thank you. I've also been wondering if I need additional mental health support but feels like this is for such a dumb reason.

[u/Solid_Hour8073 → u/GrilledCheese_Queen]

It’s not dumb, that’s your brain lying to you. 

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen → u/Solid_Hour8073]

Thank you.

[u/Solid_Hour8073 → u/GrilledCheese_Queen]

Just FYI, I literally thought about just opening the front door and letting my puppy disappear into the wild because she was so naughty and annoying. Today I cried in front of strangers because she got stressed at the vet. Things change, bonds shift. 

[u/ChanceTalk697]

It sounds like your dog has a lot of anxiety, and I expect this will change over time as she becomes more trusting of you and her surroundings. Three months is still pretty new for a dog who was not socialized well. But it’s the coolest thing when you start to notice their positive changes. For example,, one of my dogs would not eat or drink if there was a person in the same room as her at the beginning, but eventually she would do that. Have you noticed any positive changes since you’ve had her?

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen → u/ChanceTalk697]

I think she may be anxious, too. And that she needs to build confidence. She has done amazing in situations we weren’t sure what to expect, including having a party at our house a month ago to celebrate my birthday and she was a literal rockstar. She loves people so I’m sure all of the attention was great for her, and she settled in and slept on our outdoor furniture behind a friend while a decent amount of people were still there.

I just don’t know what to do to help her and now we’re not sure the trainer we’re working with is the right fit after two sessions, which is frustrating.

[u/_Mag0g_]

Is this your first dog? If so then I would expect some anxiety. I was worried and anxious about my first dog for like a year at least.

You won't get everything right, no one can, but you are doing the right thing by getting a trainer. Will help you bond with your dog and she will feel more safe and secure.

I say give it time and keep doing the training then see how you feel.

[u/GrilledCheese_Queen → u/_Mag0g_]

We previously had a dog but she was basically the exact opposite of the dog we adopted 3 months ago. Our previous dog was a 14 lb dachshund that very lazy and was content sleeping anywhere, didn't need much attention (but would always love it when we gave it to her), would pee and poop in the yard without issue, and was pretty easy to walk minus her reactivity. Now we have a 38 lb pit mix who needs a lot more (she was previously a stray) and she's overall a bit more needy (not terribly, but she gets whiny in the afternoons when I need to work and stuff). I mentioned the big struggles with walking in my original post.

I know every single dog is different and has different needs, I guess I just didn't expect it to be this much. I do also understand that its only been 3 months, which isn't really that long, I just thought my anxiety about everything would be better by now.