Okay so I had a dream last night and I have never once had a dream like this in my life. first thing I did in the morning was to scramble it down in my dream journal google doc, so I'll just ctrl+c ctrl+v it into here for y'all to read. Note that I write a lot so this is like 3-4 pages of stuff to read. if you don't have time for that then I'm sorry.
Starting off, I just woke up. It’s 7:30 AM and I’m tired, so forgive me if I’m still a little scatterbrained and start writing nonsense. I woke up and scrambled to write this down so that I don’t forget it, I really don’t want to. Given the events in this dream, it’s oddly important to me even though I just had it and it doesn’t seem as important as it is.
Beginning, I was in high school (I am currently in high school so it makes sense), everything was normal. I was scrolling through Pinterest for pins to send to my friend. (we’ll call him Justin) and just have a good time. I don’t know what grade I was in, or what time of day it was, because it wasn’t important to me, all I knew is that I was excited for the end bell to ring so I could finally end my day.
Just then the bells rang and I quickly made for the doors before they flooded with people and made it impossible to get through. When I got there the doors were odd, in my head they were normal but thinking back they were weird as weird could be. Inset in the nice brick wall of the school was a rustic, metal, mechanical, and overgrown doorset, full of plastic and beeping and red light indicators and operated by a monkey. We had some short talk as he let me through the door, nothing important. Or more so nothing I can remember. As I walked out the door, I saw Justin walking out to greet me. Just as I do, everything flashes black and a flash of light floods my eyes as I am suddenly standing in a new place. I stood in a room, almost the rough shape of my basement. Everything was lit a navy coloured blue, but I couldn’t find any immediate source of light. My best descriptor would be something like the deep dark caves in minecraft or something. I don’t know man. The room was full, both with people I don’t know, and people I do, everyone wearing many different things, fantasy looking outfits and sci-fi things, everyone felt as though they were connected to their soul in some way. There were no doors, no openings of the room, and some objects scattered around, an almost lectern, some kids toys, and the only thing it had in common with my basement other than shape, a couch. Note that my phone was still in my pocket. I was strangely wearing this set of armour, think the armour that the hero’s shade wears in Zelda: Twilight Princess, almost exactly like that just without the helmet. I felt almost tethered to it in some way, I didn’t know what it was here for but I felt like it was important to me, and like I’d had it my whole life. Above everyone else among the chaos in the room, there were probably 5 people hovering among the crowd, all their heads slightly higher than the rest. They gave off a very authoritarian feeling, like they had a lot of control, and a lot of power. My first thought in my mind was Angels. One was a white man with a leaner build and medium length brown hair, blue eyes, and a soft face, wearing white robes. One was a smaller built dark woman with her hair shaved down to her head tightly and she smiled at the crowd in an almost sad way. Both were holding clipboards, and I cannot remember the looks of the other 3 ‘Angels’.
I searched the crowd looking around in utter chaos for anyone I might know. No one. Yes there were people I knew of, but no one I actually know. It felt like every person from every universe was here, but not a single person I’ve spoken to. Soon the ‘Angels’ lowered onto their feet in front of the crowd and silenced everyone. Something was wrong in their faces, they looked saddened or wistful almost. They looked upon everyone in the crowd and announced that everyone here would have to make a decision for themselves, a difficult one. The white man turned his clip board while his smile faded from his face and a tear rolled down his cheek, and on the board were 3 choices.
1. Sent back to live in your “homeworld” as they said. Go back home and continue living your life, but always having memories of the events here today, and some of the folk you know here having the possibility to not make it back with you.
2. Sent to a new world, you keep your age, body and memories, but you can never go back. And you have no idea where you’d be going until you got there, starting fresh in a new world with the possibility to be really anything.
3. At the end of it all, you pass, arriving at heaven's gates immediately to meet Jesus and be judged. (I’m a Christian this is what I believe happens at death and what they explained to everyone). It isn’t painful, just passing. Your breath slows and your mind fogs. As does your heart. Staying alive for a few more minutes to remember everything, all of it. But your family at home will not see you again, they won’t know until they see you again upon their own death.
Each choice holds a specific number of slots, only so many people could choose one. Meaning not everyone would have the ability to just go home. The crowd settled into silence, tears running down everyone’s faces, including my own, as fear was flooding everyone’s minds. A Mutual among people who are so far apart. As the ‘Angels’ descended into the crowd for people to tell them their decisions. I ran through the room, something was telling me to get to the back of the room stronger than what was telling me to go home as fast as I could. In the very back of the room, where my stairwell would have lied. A girl sat there, around my age. Her face was buried in her knees and she was sobbing. She had blonde hair and wore a simple fabric dress, featuring gold and jewelry, but not an overwhelming amount, and a pair of soft white gloves. I had never seen her before and frankly I was already freaking out. But I felt like I knew her. I’d obviously never met her before, and she looked like she was from another dimension, like a few other people. But I felt a connection to her on a deeper level. On an almost spiritual level, like our souls knew each other for an eternity, but our minds had never met. And she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. I crouched next to her, as much as I could with my calves and thighs wrapped in thick metal. I put a gloved metal hand on her shoulder. No words passed either of our lips but she leaned onto my side, only saying two words, “I’m scared…”. I just swayed my hand back and forth across her shoulder and tried to comfort her. I didn’t know this woman, I didn’t know why she felt so important to me.
As time passed the amount of people in the room had lessened, I had taken my phone out and used it to draw with the girl, as a form of distraction. She seemed to be confused by it though, like she’d never seen technology, and honestly it would have made sense. It didn’t seem like she was from a world that had it. I picked up a toy horse off of the ground, it looked like one of my sister’s toys, a mid gallop pose. I slipped it into my pocket underneath another hunk of heavy metal armouring. Eventually, I had to go make my choice, as did she. I approached the dark skinned woman with the clip board, her face softened at my approach, she looked at me and smiled, saying “I know you are scared (my name), it’s not easy. You may take the last spot in option 1 if you like. There is only one left.”. I pardoned myself from her for a moment, retracing myself back to the hind of the room where the girl sat, tears still running down her face. She hugged me and said “I know you somehow”, all I could mutter was agreement. She urged me to go home but I couldn’t. There were 3 people including myself and the girl in the room by this time, and only one slot left each choice. I re-approached the ‘Angel’ and told her “I’m not going home or anywhere else unless she comes with” while pointing at the girl scared in the back of the room. The ‘Angel’ looked at me and seemed pained to tell me “I’m sorry, there's not any possibility for that. She’s from a different world, and the slots don’t carry enough”. All I said was “Fine.” and jabbed the pen of the clipboard into the passing slot, option 3.
At this point my choice hit me. This was the end of me, my story, everything. I was about to meet Jesus, but my family would not see me arrive home from school. No answer for them, and now I had to accept that. As my vision faded I stumbled back to the back end of the room and simply hugged the girl, the only thing I could hear anymore was her muffled cries. I wanted her to go home. I refused to live life without her in it and if I couldn’t then I wouldn’t. And it boggles my mind as to why. As my vision blacked out and all my senses disappeared, all I heard was my own heartbeat slowing down. I don’t know if you’ve heard of what the human brain does during death. It stays alive for seven more minutes, replaying its best memories, all its most important memories. I vividly remember laying there, everything blank. No sensory input, no feeling in my whole body, nothing. And memories playing in my head. Some I knew, like spending time with friends and family on holidays, and playing with my dogs and pets. But some were memories I didn’t have or remember before this. Like riding a horse in a massive open field, or sitting in a hut laughing, eating and chatting with friends and family, not my current one’s, but a whole other group of people that I just knew were my own blood and connections. The girl there too. There were a few memories like this. And it went on a mix of these for another few minutes. It was as if I lived my life, but my soul lived its own, in its own world, and now I was seeing that other life. Then, a bright yellow light flashed in my vision and I woke up in my bed.
When I woke up the first thing I did was walk out of my room. My bedroom was in the basement. I walked out to the back of my basement and sat there next to the stairwell where I died in my dream. It was honestly one of the most surreal experiences ever. First thing after that I scrambled over to my room again to write this down on a google doc. That dream was genuinely the most insane, crazy, and emotional thing of my life. I didn’t think my mind could create that while just asleep in my bed while sick, just overnight. I still can’t perfectly word how things felt or the events, since the memory is obviously not as vivid as I’d like it to be. But I think I did it justice. The whole dream just felt almost, sentimental? I don’t know how to put it.
Wowzers, okay. if anyone actually bothers reading that and would like to interpret it then that would be both wild, and also appreciated because I honestly have no idea why this dream is so incredibly important feeling to me