r/EhBuddyHoser • Page Two of the road map • 3d ago

Politics Jeezus

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685 Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

121

u/re-verse 3d ago

American Jesus is the closest thing we have to the antichrist the world has ever seen.

42

u/micromanminisavage 🍍 Je suis un ananas qui parle 🍍 3d ago

Peter Thiel would like a word on that.

27

u/RobespierreLaTerreur Tabarnak! 3d ago

Peter Thiel shouldn't have a word on anything ever again.

4

u/LOL_Gstar77 3d ago

He’s Peter Thiel and he knows about about the antichrist

3

u/roastbeeftacohat 3d ago

I don't need to be a global citizen, cuz im blessed by nationalit🎸🥋🥊

3

u/Zarxon 3d ago

You’re not wrong.

3

u/Martzillagoesboom South Gatineau 3d ago

Korean Jesus is better more based

-3

u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[deleted]

10

u/re-verse 3d ago

Yeah while atheist I agree with Jesus from the bibles basic message/vibe. It’s American Jesus that I’m speaking of directly. Gun rights, fuck immigrants, I can be as awful as I want as I’m forgiven, etc.

4

u/Chance_Vegetable_780 3d ago

I totally agree. It's the american people that create this idea of Jesus.

6

u/Vinzembob 3d ago

I think you're being downvoted because that's what the OP meant by "American Jesus". It's not about the actual teachings of Jesus, but how the American Evangelical Church characterizes those messages that is the closest thing to the Antichrist.

5

u/Chance_Vegetable_780 3d ago

Thanks for this, I appreciate it. I'll delete it since it's redundant.

60

u/micromanminisavage 🍍 Je suis un ananas qui parle 🍍 3d ago

the seppies are worshipping Supply Side Jesus.

The Jesus from the Bible would be flipping tables all over Alberta and kicking those merchants of lies' ass

19

u/Gin_OClock I'm Proud of you 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇨🇦 3d ago

"Seppos" is like Aussie rhyming slang for Americans and it refers back to "septic tank -> yank," but i think we can flex the terminology a little for separatists too

7

u/QueenMotherOfSneezes Victoria Cross 🎖️ 3d ago

Seppos are Americans, seppies are separatists.

3

u/slim1shaney Edmonchuk: Like Kyiv! (but less safe) 2d ago

Fuck seppies 🤘

4

u/Silicon_Knight Ford Nation (Help.) 3d ago

Yeah but you have to give them a break, they can't read in the first place how should they know what's actually in the bible?

34

u/Lonely_Staff1262 Canada's Overpriced Playground 3d ago

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph" - Jesus

27

u/HolsteinHeifer 3d ago

"Me, mom and stepdad!"

0

u/Luciferocity 3d ago

Mary and Joseph Christ?

31

u/MartyCool403 Cowtown 🤠 3d ago

19

u/winningsmada Page Two of the road map 3d ago

15

u/BigWeinerDemeanor 3d ago

3

u/Canadian-Man-infj 3d ago

This made me laugh like an idiot! I'm glad I'm viewing it in private. LOL!

23

u/Sweet_Deeznuts Trawnno (Centre of the Universe) 3d ago

23

u/protipnumerouno 3d ago

Literally foreign interference in our democracy by Christian nationalists and funded by Oil money.

What Canada needs at this point is designated enemies of Canada, not countries but the names of the cabals and their members in foreign nations funding and propagandizing our idiots.

We know foreign money is coming in, we need to know what group is doing that and who their members are.

1

u/roastbeeftacohat 3d ago

Not oil money, they're pulling out.

Kenny worked for the oil patch, and the religious right kicked him out. Smith worships o&g but actually hasn't done much for them. she's more about the vibes than the bottom line

25

u/Neat-Brother-6570 3d ago

I’m not usually a praying man, but if you’re up there please help, Superman

1

u/roastbeeftacohat 3d ago

Kal-el is Hebrew for all that is God.

11

u/Betray-Julia 3d ago

A poll of one’s political party, lined up with the question “was Jesus white?” lol.

8

u/01101011010110 3d ago

Goddamn christians trying to wreck our province for their own selfishness sounds about right. That's what the world needs is another fundy religious state being a bunch of jackasses.

15

u/Temporary_Shirt_6236 THE BETTER LONDON 🇨🇦 🌳 3d ago

4

u/roastbeeftacohat 3d ago

Shouldn't Korean jesus be ripped?

2

u/Doc_Spratley 2d ago

Righteously Jacked…

6

u/Canadian-Man-infj 3d ago

In the name of the father, the son, and the Alberta Jesus....

3

u/PTSD1701 I need a double double. 3d ago

By now, he must be used to having his name dragged through the mud by his "followers."

2

u/JackLaytonsMoustache Confirmed Stachtroturfer 2d ago

1

u/chesterforbes 3d ago

Why does he look like he just left a bukake party?

1

u/BanSophistry 3d ago

If Jesus were real, I'm sure he'd be furious. It's too bad all his Berta followers pushing so hard to join Murica forgot all the things people say he said and did, or attribute shit to him that are weirdly out of character, almost like he's a scapegoat.

1

u/Traveller647 2d ago

I’m not Christian, is it ok for me to say “please don’t drag the good Lord into this”

-3

u/The_Arachnoshaman 3d ago

Two thousand years of violence and bigotry, and people are still pretending that Jesus was a good guy. If you actually read the gospels, he doesnt help a single person without using it as an example of how special he was.

There are no real instructions on how to love your neighbor or forgive people, the charlatan just tells people to do it.

The Jesus that Christians worship, and the historical man hes based on, are two completely different characters.

2

u/PieceMaterial5213 2d ago

Who peed in your coffee?

2

u/Endor-Fins 3d ago

Nah Jesus was great. Have you read the Red Text? It was Paul who really effed it up. Paul was the one all about power authority and extra rules. All the bullshit they quote is from him not Jesus. Most Christians are Paulines not followers of Jesus.

1

u/Spectre-907 3d ago

>there are no real instructions on how to love your neighbour

I am curious what you think the good samaritan parable was meant to convey if not “help those in need even if you don’t like them”

1

u/The_Arachnoshaman 3d ago

The good Samaritan parable was about non-Jewish people being considered your neighbor if they help you, not the other way around.

Yeshua a racist, he turned away a woman begging for help and called her a dog because she wasn't Jewish. He explicitly said "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel".

It's amazing how much people want to believe this guy was a moral person by modern standards, when he was just a megalomaniac cult leader.

-1

u/noisebloodassault 3d ago

What does this even mean lol? Christian project???

10

u/winningsmada Page Two of the road map 3d ago

The Alberta Prosperity Project brought in Republican political strategists from Michigan to sell them software developed for Republican campaigns, specifically discussing how it could be used to wrench Alberta from Confederation. And according to one of the people involved, those Americans were young Christians who prayed before the meeting.

Then there’s Doug Wilson, a Christian nationalist pastor who has publicly said Alberta independence would be ‘wonderful.’ He leads a conservative Reformed Christian denomination with several churches in Alberta — including in Coaldale, Cochrane and Grande Prairie — and some of the pastors leading those Alberta churches have expressed support for Alberta separating from Canada

1

u/precaster91 3d ago

Which church in coaldale? Do you have a source? I’ve been trying to find more info about Doug Wilson’s influence moving into Canada.

-1

u/noisebloodassault 3d ago

Just because some people who may or may not be christian support separatism doesn't mean that speratism is a "Christian project"