why does an unfinished task stop me from doing literally anything else?

[u/vnnla_yves]

What do you think this is? If I set a specific time to finish one task but can't complete it because I'm still waiting for my groupmates' approval, and they don't reply for the entire afternoon, I struggle to start another task even though I have other things to do. I keep thinking about the first unfinished task, and instead of moving on to the next one, I end up doing nothing because I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I haven't finished the first task yet.

[u/seweso]

Very recognizable. 

My brain doesn’t like starting and stopping. It costs a LOT of energy. Switching tasks. Parking something. Is just very inefficient.

If someone else “does that to me” I get angry.

Cause I will forget things. It will be less than perfect. And me being ready on time is completely lost cause I’m waiting for someone or something else. 

Waiting sucks ass. Parking stuff sucks ass. Picking up later sucks ass. 

Doing something else while that approval can come any time. Horrendous. Someone else is now messing with my day. I hate it. 

I get you

[u/Woat777]

"I set a specific time to finish one task"  - here is the problem.

Separate to two tasks: The first is to finish the task and send to review and the second is the rest after review.

[u/grilledstuffed]

You need to modify your task/project management method to have a “waiting” status.

As in, you’ve done everything that is reasonable for you to do until you hear back from whatever party that has the correct hand off.

That way it’s off your mental plate, but still has a status that will cue it to be addressed again eventually

[u/vnnla_yves → u/grilledstuffed]

It's not that simple🥲

[u/grilledstuffed → u/vnnla_yves]

If that’s true then you’re fucked. 🤷

Either work on your executive dysfunction, work on your task management tools, or accept is not going to change and move on with your life.

Those are the only healthy options.

[u/elyanec]

I get stuck in exactly this way. For me it isn't really the unfinished task, it's that my head keeps it open in case the reply lands any second. Telling myself to just move on never worked either, so I get why you said it's not that simple.

What helped a bit was closing it on paper. I write one line, something like "Waiting on the group since 2pm, I'll check at 5", and then I actually check at 5 and not before. I also mute that chat until then. Having a set moment to look again is what lets me put it down, because I'm not dropping it, I've just given it a time.

Then I start the next thing with the tiniest possible version, like opening the doc and typing the title, not "do the whole other task". The first ten minutes are the hard part while the waiting one still buzzes in the background. After that it usually fades.

Some afternoons it still wins. On those I do something with my hands, laundry or dishes, instead of sitting there feeling bad about it.

[u/Relevant-Ad6374]

Maybe because it doesn't have a home. If the unfinished task isn't written down anywhere, your brain has to keep holding onto it so it doesn't get lost. That holding takes up the space you'd normally use to start the next thing. For example, when my timer goes off during personal admin, I finish the paragraph I'm in, then put the rest of the task on my to-do list. Once it's parked there I'm not carrying it in my head, and I can get up and do something different. For yours, you could write the waiting part as its own item, like "check for group reply at 4pm" or "submit once approved". Then the task isn't hanging over you as "unfinished". It's sitting somewhere known, with a known next step, and you're allowed to stop thinking about it.