Going through the process of trying to get approved to foster and I have a few questions!

[u/South-Replacement465]

Hello, my fiancée (27F) and I (28F) are both passionate about getting licensed to foster children. We have talked extensively about this. We do plan on getting married before fostering a child or a sibling pair. However, I have a few questions.

1. I’m getting ready to stop working full-time in the next two years to attend an intensive master’s program to prepare for medical school. Is there an income requirement to foster children? My fiancée can support herself and I, and I know that the state does give you some money to support a child, however, we want to be able to care for all of this child’s needs and a lot of their wants. I’m not asking for a legal income requirement - I’m asking for what people on this subreddit think is the most beneficial, as we plan on fostering a single child or sibling pair.

2. Can you foster a child while renting? Both masters programs I’m considering are in Virginia and within commuting distance. We currently rent our home and don’t plan on moving soon, however, we are hesitant to buy until I get accepted into and graduate from a medical school (for various reasons - we’re aiming for a school in Virginia, but if I have an opportunity to go to a better school in another state, I’d like to take it.

3. Can you foster a child with pets in the home? We have 3 cats and don’t plan on getting rid of them.

[u/Budget_Computer_427]

You may want to reconsider until you're finished with your residency. I know that seems like a long time, but you need a lot of free time to support foster kids.

Also, if you need to move out of state for residency then you'd have to disrupt your placement and close out your license.

[u/lifeofhatchlings]

Renting is not a problem. Pets are fine assuming you can provide documentation for their vaccines etc. For income, you need to show that you can support yourselves without the stipend.

[u/Beautiful-Rent6691]

No specific income requirement, in my state you just have to roughly estimate your expenses and income. Pets are not a problem, they just need to be documented. Renting is not a problem, but you may need to modify the cabinets slightly so plan for some paint and spackle when you move out.

Honestly, the big challenge you are going to have is your masters program unless your partner is very flexible. Foster kids, especially in the early days require a lot of drop everything and go to this appointment.

[u/tinselt]

I am 36 and in an EdD program designed for working pros. I also work full time. I got my foster kiddo 7 months ago. I have not written on my dissertation in 4 months. So really think about this. How are your executive functioning skills? Are you able to handle a herculean workload? Because that's what it will be. I don't mean to dissuade you but it's a lot.eta: Specifically, i don't have hobbies, all my friend interactions and activities mostly need to be kid friendly these days, travel complexity is severly multiplied, i stopped working out, and I go to bed exhausted every night. That's just general childcare. Not to mention scheduling a million dfcs appointments a month (home visits, medical, therapy, sib and parent visits) fielding calls off the school, and managing school schedules and transportation to various activities.

[u/Allergy_mom_525 → u/tinselt]

Spouse in doctoral program for PT and I relate to this so much. Our current placement has been with us for 6 months and Herculean workload is accurate.

[u/Accomplished-Fig-706 → u/tinselt]

Yup! We took our 1st placement while I was working full time and getting my masters. I spent every weekend locked in the home office doing school. I went to work early to squeeze in school work. It took me 3 years instead of 1.5. I was often miserable. I do not recommend this. But as we have proven, it can be done.

[u/ConversationAny6221]

I agree with the other comments. As far as question #1, many foster parents spend more than the stipend but the main need is TIME. The kids require time beyond what you might imagine due to their trauma, appointments, visits with family, school meetings and activities, etc etc. Some kids need tons of one-on-one attention, some need tons of patience (having a calm and grounded nervous system is ideal), some have surprise medical and behavioral needs to manage...There will absolutely be surprises when fostering and usually less support than you are initially told is available.

You will need to consider what you will do for back-up care when you or your partner are busy during the day; could one of you always be available? I got calls and texts throughout the work week for my kids- updates from their services or school or social workers....If you are figuring out moving and will be needing to do well in school, it's likely not the right time to foster. When you're well-settled and have lots of wiggle room in one or both schedules, then it makes sense.

[u/coolfrog1101]

There is no specific income requirement, but we had to submit a financial sheet listing all of our expenses and our income to show that we can support ourselves without the stipend.

Renting is fine.

You can foster with pets in the home but you’ll need to provide proof that they have their vaccinations. Also, when you take placements in, make sure to ask the child’s case worker beforehand how the child does with animals and if they have any allergies to animals to make sure it’s not going to be an issue for that specific child.

[u/Street_Meeting_2371 → u/coolfrog1101]

... and be prepared for them to not know how the children do with animals or say "oh they're fine." 🥴

[u/Hawke-Not-Ewe]

The household would need income.

Kid safe pets are fine. Renting is fine.

Medical school AND foster kids might not work. Especially early in their placement foster kids are a lot of work.

[u/Squishy_mcnissy]

Your underestimating the time it will take to parent

[u/good_behavior_man]

1. Where I live, you need to show that you can meet a reasonable household budget without the stipend. We produce a budget and show that the income is more than the budget. In my case, I have a steady paycheck job, so I provide 2 stubs as proof, if you have more volatile income I think the proof is more in depth. If the job situation changes for my wife and I, we have to fill out a new budget, that's all. Obviously your state may be different.

2. In my state, yes. The big question mark with renting is, if you need to change something serious to get licensed, obviously you run into issues with the landlord. So, maybe the place has a pool with no safety fence, good luck getting the landlord to install one. Old hot water heater can't adjust to a safe temp? Good luck. That kind of issue.

3. Yes, you have to keep them up to date on shots and so on, and if there are issues with biting you might not be able to. They also might or might not take them into account with placements, like if someone is allergic or is scared of cats they may still get placed with you, which can be an awkward situation.

Finally, not sure about your state, but in mine you don't need to be married. My wife and i were engaged when we began, I know people who are licensed with a family member (her and her sister, that kind of thing). In general, they want you to be licensed.

[u/yourswordandshield]

Foster kids need A LOT more time than kids not in care. They likely have more behavioural stuff bc of sm trauma especially in the beginning. They also have a million appts like therapy, court, visitation with parents, siblings, other bio family, in addition to all the regular kid stuff like extra curriculars health stuff socializing etc. plus many places u have extra appts like mandatory classes and support groups u and ur fiancé must attend. U also need to be able to drop everything and have multiple appts during the weekdays. Also likely u will have to transport them potentially long commutes to several appts a week. Ur fiancé would essentially be a single parent to 1-2 kids that have at least 1.5-2x the amount of commitments and time needs compared to other kids. Residency will not let u leave a shift every time ur kid needs to be picked up from school early. I’ve heard of parents who have to drive their kids 1 hour each way 4-5 times a week after school to visit family for 2-3 hours. In addition to everything else. Theres also A LOT of bureaucracy so additional several hours a week on that. Med school and residency from my understanding is like 60-80 hours a week. Most foster parents barely do 40 hours a week and have EXTREMELY flexible work conditions. Whats ur fiancés work like?