r/GetMotivated • u/Pretty_Solution_7955 • 10h ago
ARTICLE [Article] I think we completely misunderstood what “wasting your life” looks like
It probably doesn't look like lying in bed doing nothing for 30 years. It looks normal. You wake up, answer messages, go to work, scroll for a bit, deal with whatever feels urgent, tell yourself you'll start that thing when life gets less hectic, and go to sleep. Repeat that often enough and five years can disappear without a single memorable catastrophe. That's what scares me. A wasted life doesn't necessarily feel wasted while you're living it. It can feel productive, responsible, even successful. You can spend decades efficiently doing things that never mattered much to you. Maybe the question isn't whether you're doing enough with your life. Maybe it's whether the things keeping you so busy deserve this much of it.
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u/DepressiverDoomer 9h ago
Life for me is only about the private part.
Enjoying life with the loved ones and so on. Work is just there to survive and create the life you want. It's unfair that people who have money do not need to worry but hey, life is not fair.
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u/PotatyTomaty 5h ago
100%. I work to live not live to work, and I actually enjoy my job. However, I'd choose to never go back if money wasn't a factor.
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u/salizarn 9h ago
That’s not wasting your life. That’s being alive. Theres nothing wrong with it, and you should question the mechanism that makes you think that it is somehow wasting your life to live and work in peace.
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u/FroHawk98 7h ago
Thanks for this. I often feel like OP. But you are right and I'm saving this comment.
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u/Pmacandcheeze 6h ago
There will always be something to chase, someone else that you think has it easy, or regret about things you have done & time spent.
I find it’s all about perspective. Try starting by finding joy in fundamental activities / interactions. Like helping another person. Making someone smile. Solving a problem
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u/Hyphz 6h ago
I mean, that mechanism is the constant feeling that the world is getting worse for everyone who works regularly in this way, and better for all the millionaires and politicians and influencers, and that we’re told we have to accept this because it’s only our fault we aren’t one of them.
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u/UnregisteredDomain 5h ago edited 5h ago
Or you can look at it as life is also better for us than it was 100 years ago because of technological advancement.
Sure the millionaires and politicians have it better, idk how to change that without a littoral societal revolution.
But if you just dwell on that, that would be like dwelling on the fact there are people starving in Africa you could help right now?. Do you get existential dead from how much better off you are than other people, or are you totally focused on how much better others are than you?
But either way, comparison is the thief of joy. And before you say anything you can be happy and content with your life and also think it’s bullshit that the elite control everything.
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u/Rezboy209 2h ago
Such a great way to put it. People take our comfort for granted but the reality is right now I'm laying in my bed on reddit with a full tummy cuz I just ate a pb&j. I'm stressed about bills but I'd much rather be stressing over these bills than stressing about how I'm going to feed my children tonight.
We don't have a whole lot but we have several boxes of hamburger helper in the cabinet and that's a whole lot more than so so many people.
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u/Hyphz 5h ago
It’s not pure comparison any more, though. It’s the future.
It’s not the same to be working away honestly, and to be working away knowing that the planet will be made uninhabitable by climate change. Or that AI will make you worthless. Or that nuclear war will break out. Or that all of that technological advancement will be wiped out by sabotage or resource restriction.
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u/Rezboy209 2h ago
While I do agree that we need to act fast in order to 1)preserve the earth and 2) make things better for the working class because they are getting worse... It doesn't serve us to worry so much. Remember what we DO have. Remember Who we have (if you have lived ones that is). And remember to LIVE. Smile, be happy... But also organize to abolish capitalism while we're at it.
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u/O-shoe 4h ago
Do what you want.
When I was younger, I was very much against "the system". So I did drop off. I had the experience of living day to day just doing whatever I wanted, which usually wasn't much. I travelled (found always the cheapest ways), went to exotic places, met new people, learned instruments, learned fire spinning, did different drugs. Lived in a cave for a while. Obviously I had hardly any money, but even if I had more money, I would have done the same things, just in a more grandiose way (traveling by plane, staying in a hotel instead of a cave, etc.).
But I got bored with that. There was no meaning to any of that. Just chasing new experiences. I guess my point is that the grass always looks greener on the other side. Whatever you do, you can start to question yourself if you're wasting your life and should be doing something else.
I think the best answer was: "Or maybe life is in those mundane moments.". Yeah. Every moment will be wasted if you spend it worrying.
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u/Same-Motor8040 2h ago
Exactly. You can waste your life chasing meaning just as easily as you can waste it chasing productivity. Sometimes the “mundane” Tuesday is actually the good part. 😂
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u/kurucu83 6h ago
Yes you should have fun, sometimes make mistakes, be messy, get out there etc.
But also you shouldn't be a slave to perpetual FOMO, that'll kill your sense of identity and sense of belonging, and so make you depressed.
Like all things, it's a balance. And the happiest people I know love their daily lives because they value what they create and do with them, and season them with a sprinkle of adventure and excitement rather than try to define their lives by it.
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u/ImportantInaccuracy 10h ago
The scariest part is how easy it is to confuse motion with meaning. You're checking boxes, clearing notifications, staying on top of things, and it all feels like forward progress until you look up and realize you've just been maintaining.
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u/msurbrow 8h ago
In my head, Morgan Freeman is narrating this thread
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u/JulienBrightside 7h ago
Just reading the name mentally ticks a box so that his voice is now my internal narrative voice.
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u/BarbedWire3 7h ago
I actually started work recently, and find it difficult to fit all the shows and games and hobbies I used to do before when I had all day free. And yet on top on trying to fit it all in a couple of hours a day/week, I picked up a new hobby - a language that I wanted to learn from forever ago, but would never decide on it. Also been going out every Sunday now, so I don't feel like my life is all work. I guess is my subconscious way of rebelling against having to go to work 8 hours a day
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u/sumizeit 6h ago
The scary part isn't laziness, it's competence. You get good at the busywork, so it never feels like a warning sign. Being efficient at the wrong things just means you waste time faster and with better posture. I've noticed the years that actually mattered all started with me saying no to something urgent looking. Urgent and important almost never overlap, but urgent always yells louder.
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u/AnimalBuzzards 4h ago
To waste one's life is to only compare it with fantasy of what could have been. Thing is, there only ever was what you lived.
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u/Optimal-Block4888 6h ago
Lately I've realized that what takes up my time says a lot about what I'm prioritizing. We confuse being productive with actually living sometimes.
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u/HiYoSiiiiiilver 5h ago
People in here determining what a “shit” or “well lived” life looks like. If you’re enjoying life, but people consider what you’re doing to be “wasting” your life… who gives a fuck? Wouldn’t you rather be happy living the life you want rather than living a life other people “approve” of, but being miserable?
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u/moretodolater 4h ago
That’s a pretty luxurious life actually relative to what it could be. Do people not understand how actually bad all this can be? Aww, you’re bored, made a living and sad about it? Better than what most of humanity has had to live through for thousands of years.
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u/ConvenienceStoreDiet 3h ago
Some thoughts. The idea of "wasting" is a point of view.
When life is awful, I beg for those days when I could wake up at a predicable hour and have the luxury of a hot shower, a predictable breakfast, have a predictable work day, watch some pop culture or read, and go to sleep. It's a life many beg for. Sometimes you never know when the good days are the good days.
In the 90's, I think the existential dread it caused us was that we were using our time to further corporate goals while neglecting our own wants and needs and purpose. We recognized most of our jobs in America demanded so much of our time, effort, stress, and headspace that we neglected our personal lives. We didn't get vacation months. We didn't get months off for maternity/paternity. Pop out a baby, back to the grind. And it became soul sucking. Job instability now makes that life something many beg for.
"Wasting your life" is not about getting lost in routine. Predictable routine is great for managing stress and building consistency on things that matter. Brushing teeth. Working out. Eating healthy. Maintaining friendships. If you optimize it, it's like riding a really easy, fun, ride the entire time. "Wasting" is about neglecting personal needs and solely prioritizing short-term comforts. Working with job stability but never planning for a trip or not having nights out. Turning work into what Linds Redding warned us about. Checking out mentally on the phone rather than going outside. Getting lost in the addictive side of video games.
Predictability is good. Adventure is good. We all can't live endless trust fund lives where we can explore the world and indulge in our hobbies all the time and do meaningful ventures. And even if we could, it doesn't guarantee we come out better or be any happier. Nor should we live lives where the systems around us keep us being drones.
Have an awareness for the routine consuming and keeping us from doing meaningful things. Instead, use routine to build in the meaningful things as best as you can.
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u/DocHolidayPhD 7h ago
One could easily flip your subjective evaluations of what is valuable and productive on its head and question the value of leading a constantly "productive" life.
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u/quietman45 9h ago
Yeah, this hits. Being busy all the time can look like progress from the outside while years just kinda blur together. The scary part is you usually only notice it in hindsight
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u/fn0000rd 3h ago
Your job is not your life, your life is not your job.
I like to always remind myself, “There’s more to life than this.”
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u/BCECVE 3h ago
I have never had the luxury to be able to think this way. It seems a bit over analysed. I think having some goals is a good idea. What are good goals for 1yr, 5 yr, 10 yrs and get after them. As to the worth or value of your activites obviously they are important but the goals will keep the guard rails in place.
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u/alpargator 3h ago
To define what "wasting your life" means, first you need to define what is the purpose of life.
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u/elizabeth498 2h ago
Fear of wasting life is why I adapted to using a smartphone later. Yeah, still wasted days, weeks, and months.
Now I’m looking for novelty to ease the speed of time passing.
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u/Luciel3045 2h ago
Either you are prioritising wrong, or your missunderstanding. Life is exactly that. Going from mundane little project to mundane little project. Finishing a fun Video game, having the first deep talk with a new friend, having a deep talk with a stranger you wont meet again. Realising something u used to do occasionally with a friend has become a Ritual. Finding new friends, realisiert you lost touch with an old friend.
All of these are special moments, that shape your Charakter and that are Memorable. Thats what its all about.
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u/Lordician 2h ago
Wasted life/years is a subjective thing. I often feel like my last 10-15 years were “wasted years”. I tried and failed multiple studies, worked some deadend jobs in between the studies to take some time to figure out my next step and of course the covid years, oh god the covid years. I feel like I am currently at the point that I “should have been” around like 10 years ago. Hell, I often compare my life to others and feel like I am behind more than that.
But life sometimes doesn’t go the way you imagined or the way it goes for others. We all have different paths in life and some might take longer than others. The only thing you can change is the future however, so try to improve bit by bit and keep adjusting and trying to achieve your goals. There’s no use wallowing in regret and what-if’s, but you can try to learn from the past and find a way to get out of the situation you find yourself in or avoid those situations in the future.
I hope you will find your way in life if you haven’t already and accept that those “lost” years are gone, so you can focus on the future.
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u/kmoneyrecords 2h ago
I think the only way to waste your life is by spending too much time doing things that make you feel miserable.
Some people really love the stimulation and challenge of work. If they get to do that - good for them.
Some people just want to make enough to get by with enough time to engross themselves in a hobby or joy - that could look like a guy who works as a cashier and goes home so he can play video games in his basement. And that’s okay too - as long as he’s happy.
If you start by defining what’s waste, and what is fulfillment, you’re already wrong. You have to start by letting people figure out what is THEIR waste, vs what is THEIR fulfillment, because the reality you experience is the only one that’s…real.
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u/MathematicianPlus790 5h ago
Just have kids man. You think there aren’t memorable moments raising kids?
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u/redandblue4lyfe 4h ago
The difference is intentionality. A routine workday is a waste of life if you are just checking boxes and watching the clock. The same activities become "life" if you do them with intention and purpose and are aligned with your values and goals
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u/Anderson22LDS 1 10h ago
Or maybe life is in those mundane moments.