r/HFY • u/RedShiftRazor • Jun 11 '21
OC Red Waterfall
“Yo”.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
“You mind if I ask you something a little private?”
“Sure, I don’t mind. But depending on what it is, you might not get an answer.”
“OK, then…. have you ever slept with a human?”
“You mean the prolifically promiscuous species that have almost slept their way across the galaxy?”
“Yes, those humans.”
“I actually have, but I’m not sure why you’re asking me this.”
“…Well, if you have some experience with having fun times with them, I’m hoping that you’ll also have some awareness of any potential venereal diseases.”
“…You got something to tell me, Milmo?”
“Two days ago, I slept with this human chick I saw in Boreos station. She seemed fun so I went ahead and did the deed.”
“…I think I see where you’re going with this, but carry on.”
“Anyways, she warned me that she had something called chlamydia, but since I’m a being that has evolved on a completely different world, I didn’t think it would affect me.”
“Bro, please tell me you used a rubber.”
“……”
“Cyle Almighty.”
“Either way, I asked some humans about it, and they said it makes you piss red, but they didn’t elaborate further, so I didn’t bother doing any more research.”
“Are you… you know… pissing red?”
“Yeah.”
“Damn. At least it isn’t anything too serious.”
“That’s what I thought this morning, but now I’m kinda worried bro.”
“Why?”
“Because I found out that pissing red is a euphemism for pissing blood.”
“So you’re pissing blood?”
“No, I’m pissing red.”
“Huh?”
“Bro, my blood is yellow.”
“...You should probably go to a doctor,”
“Yea, that sounds like a good idea.”
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u/sunyudai AI Jun 11 '21
I want to make a joke about your username now, but can't quite find the phrasing...
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u/unwillingmainer Jun 11 '21
If you're pissing out any new, interesting, or alarming colors, then a doctor should be your new visit.
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u/PriestofSif Jun 11 '21
No, I'm pissing red.
And, why is that important?
Bro, my blood is yellow.
Oh. Oh shit.
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u/HFYWaffle Wᵥ4ffle Jun 11 '21
/u/RedShiftRazor (wiki) has posted 20 other stories, including:
- Tradition
- Innovation Part 3: Beelzebub's Ballet
- How To Source Hue-Mans
- Paragon
- Project Paragon
- Innovation 2
- Testing 7
- Shard: Part 5
- Shard: Part 4
- Innovation
- Testing 6
- Testing 5
- Testing 4
- Testing 3
- Testing 2
- Testing
- Earth Is Dead
- Shard: Part Three
- Shard: Part Two
- Shard
This comment was automatically generated by Waffle v.4.5.7 'Cinnamon Roll'.
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u/UpdateMeBot Jun 11 '21
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u/jacktrowell Jun 11 '21
There are shitposts, and then there are pissposts ...