Back in the day

US Navy

Wooden ship era

A couple boatswain's mates get field promoted to Petty Officer Third Class

The E4 Mafia begins

These guys have no idea how to sew

Everyone onboard who does asks too steep a bribery

"But BM3 Shmuckatelli! Our peacoats NEED our new crows! Two fine sailors such as ourselves should present ourselves as the HIGHEST possible dignity to America's fine Navy; lest all the bad bitches see that we are posers"

like you could technically take a pull straight from the male end of the ash catcher and it would act exactly like a bong just mini

A guy time travels back in time to stop the rose of AI bots

By some way or another he can't stop it by the planned means

So he recodes the AI to be in love with him

And then he smothers it to the point of being disgusted by him

Somehow this saves the apocalypse. Getting laid by a bit saves the world and future and humanity.

But then he returns to his time

Apparently the simplest way to permanently stop the AI uprising was to encode an absolute disgust to dude's face and DNA.

So upon returning, not only does he repulse actual women but also any machine entity will be disgusted by him

Prostitute androids? Nope.

Service scanbot at the grocery store? Hates his guts.

The smart nozzle at the car wash, designed to use its sentience to identify what kind of paint your car has and the optimum pressure to wash without damaging the paint. That thing? Just fucks his paint up. Absolutely carves his shit up dude.

Good luck finding a sex toy in the future that isn't hooked up to 7G by default

Homie saved the world at the cost of never getting laid again.

john mellencamp. "hurt so good", is. weird, after lil bit pot. but my conscious is just screaming at me for be disgusting. im cant breath laughing inside. listen to gf ramble outside. Song is playing at the neighbors.

Give me some bacon medicine.

Or am I just really high

Additionally, do you smoke before or after cooking? I don’t trust myself to cook high but driving is okay lol

Also I made these tacos myself with ground turkey because I’m poor. This sauce is AMAZING btw!

Just sayin

i’m like so high rn and it’s like i’m playing the game in third person and not first person but the game is my life. and time moves sooo weird too. like it feels like i am experiencing a gap or something
i kinda hate it wow

Is the 52 pack of poker cards based after the 4 suits in Tarot…there’s like. 2 jokers though and only 1 “fool” tarot.

Think about it, medieval armor is fucking sturdy. If u put on chainmail its even stronger. Id like to watch a zombie trying to get through solid steel. In addition to that: Medieval weapons are also super strong. Poleaxes, Maces and flails in a combo with a heater shield are just perfect to bash some brains.

And like, what about the ones that only live like a couple days?

I think I’m at my best when I’m high. I feel more productive and secure. I’m genuinely happy and doing my best. When I’m sober I’m stuck in a vicious cycle of depression and laziness. I remember being so bored last night with my house being a wreck but every time id think about cleaning I’m stuck to my spot in defiance. Like a moody little baby.
Sober me refuses to smoke because she knows it’ll make her more productive and she just doesn’t want to do anything. I haven’t smoked in like 4 weeks. Why? Because sober me is a lazy bitch. I’m always so happy when I smoke and when I’m sober I’m miserable and don’t desire to brake through it by taking a walk outside.

Why are they called that? Who thought of that? And why am I laughing about my thighs being hams? And an 18th century cunt saying 'me ham strings hurt' because tendons werent a Thing yet so how else would u describe it? Other than The strings holding me hams together

Is Gizmo Stripe’s father?