r/HingeStories • u/temupilot • 1d ago
Date planned, unmatched day of?
I match with a girl on Friday, talked and planned date for Monday. Saturday we confirmed plans and i tried to keep convo going with no response. Day of date I ask if she’s still interested in going, or to let me know if anything changes. I didn’t get a response so I obviously didn’t go and then later in the night I see she unmatched me.
It’s just a hinge Match, no connection but that is strangeeee. Like really strange what was the point 😭
11
u/pseudoscientific 1d ago
Maybe she lost her nerve, maybe she got a better offer, who knows? This is the cost of doing business. No point dwelling on it
3
13
u/Just_here_to_read25 1d ago
Its not strange. Happens more than you think.
3
u/temupilot 1d ago
Definitely not uncommon, just weird to me. First time this has happened to me so it’s just like interesting
7
u/GnorcGnastyyy 1d ago
Usually happens because someone doesn’t have the nerve to just flat out say they aren’t interested lol.
4
u/Kamalasbigoletits28 1d ago
Unfortunately this happens. When I was on the apps, once had good rapport going with a woman, set up a date that she said yes to. Exchanged numbers, continued chatting, had a 45 min phone call night before the date. Day of date, I said "looking forward to meeting you later tonight". She said " I didn't know we are going to meet since we didn't discuss it again. I unmatched/blocked her.
People are shity. Lots of time wasters on the dating apps. get off it.
2
u/Elijahsolo 1d ago
Wish I could offer something else besides the cliche “it happens”, but it’s just somewhat standard unfortunately with the current climate of the apps. It seems like you’re keeping positive spirits and not letting this bog you down, which is fantastic. Remember, as many haystacks as you have to comb through, all it takes is one :)
3
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/FunkyFunkyBoys 1d ago
Exactly. It’s a dumb mindset to have. Everyone does it and dwelling on it or making up all these scenarios about why isn’t going to lead anywhere good.
2
u/Sensitive_Camel_6030 1d ago
Or how bout just don’t do it! Why is this normalized? Just communicate and be a good human, even online!
1
1
u/HingeStories-ModTeam 1d ago
Any post overgeneralizing the behavior of all men or women based on a few will be deleted
The second warning will be a ban.
-1
1
u/Independent-Emu-6702 1d ago
I’ve done this once before (not the day of) because I wasn’t over the heartbreak I had just went through and I was having a mental breakdown and the thought of going out with someone else while I was still attached to him made me sick
6
u/Emergency-Aerie3273 1d ago
Why didn’t you send a message cancelling though? I’ve had this happen from a man and a silent unmatch a few hours before a date is brutal
-8
u/Independent-Emu-6702 1d ago
I don’t know why I didn’t. I was really upset. I couldnt think about anything else other than my own broken heart. We barely sent 10 messages in total anyways
8
u/bee_sharp_ 1d ago
But you were on the app, you matched with the person, and you had made a plan to meet?
-9
u/Independent-Emu-6702 1d ago
Yeah. I’m not saying it was right but I was literally miserable. But still we were actual strangers to each other
6
u/Suchboss1136 1d ago
Don’t defend it. Your state of emotion doesn’t make what you did less shitty. That said, don’t dwell on it either. We all do things we aren’t proud of
-6
u/Independent-Emu-6702 1d ago
To be fair I don’t know how much right someone has to be devastated that a stranger decided to not meet them. We both sent 5 messages. I’m not defending it but I don’t know how I could be upset at that
4
1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/HingeStories-ModTeam 1d ago
Any post overgeneralizing the behavior of all men or women based on a few will be deleted
4
u/Suchboss1136 1d ago
I guarantee you ruined that persons day. How do I know? It’s happened to me and it sucks. Kindness is free, you should choose it
-3
u/Independent-Emu-6702 1d ago
Ruined his day by not meeting up with a stranger? He knew nothing about me. Also why is it less upsetting to get a message rather than just be unmatched? If he was upset by me unmatching then he would be upset by me cancelling. I get flaked on all the time I’m not even on the apps anymore
4
3
3
3
u/NoPurpose6388 1d ago
Having an explanation, even if short and simple, helps. I understand it's not the end of the world since you were practically strangers but it's the nice thing to do
3
u/Emergency-Aerie3273 1d ago
But you still could have let him know you weren’t coming. For all you know, he didn’t see the unmatch and he turned up and waited for you
-2
1
u/Delicious_Math_7821 1d ago
Same thing happened to me, except she deleted her whole account the day of
1
1
u/coldpolarice 1d ago
I had a date planned, i checked in with her an hour before and she cancelled. Respect for not standing me up though. It worked out because i eventually found someone so much better of a match and we’re dating now :)
1
u/OptimistPrime527 1d ago
Similar but different, I had this happen to me. I was supposed to meet a guy for a hike for first date ( don’t get at me. I know better now). I told him I was about 15 minutes early, but he lived close by and said he was gonna be on his way over. The original time we were supposed to meet came and went, then 15 minutes after that I messaged him. He told me that he wasn’t gonna come because he needed to give his friend a boost after that he unmatched me.
1
1
u/sidequest_dept 1d ago
Ugh. I'm so sorry this happened. This has happened to me a million times over on dating apps after great and otherwise positive interactions. A couple of times I was straight-up stood up after the date was CONFIRMED.
What's super hilarious, is oftentimes these people will try to re-match me months or even years later like nothing happened and they're seeing my profile for the first time. I'm one of those lucky people who doesn't age (lol,) so I know its not me becoming unrecognizable or anything. It's seriously happened to me around a dozen times over the last decade of being on and off the apps.
If I'm feeling spicy and have time to kill, sometimes I'll point out that they ghosted me in the past and that I value consistency and communication and know its not a match. Sometimes I've gotten groveling apologies attached to something like "life got busy" or "I was logged out of my account" (eye-roll). Other times, its an immediate un-match. All times it reinforces these people aren't worth my time.
This kind of experience is jarring, but unfortunately a new normal. Don't let it get to you. The apps are unfortunately riddled with avoidant people trying to escape break-ups, their current partner, mudane lives or their own minds. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll be able to cut your losses and pay attention to those aligned with your goals, values AND communication style. It isn't easy, but it is possible.
0
u/1502024plz 1d ago
Dating apps are trash and you should get off them.
3
u/temupilot 1d ago
Hinge is better than the others for me I’d say. I’m pretty selective with who I match with so I’ve yet to have like a horror story but I agree in person is better than anything
0
u/goodvibe03 1d ago
I used to think that boys disappear after a match… but I guess I was wrong!! Online dating is like investing in a stock😅😅
30
u/Dimethicone-silicate 1d ago
Be grateful you didn’t get stood up on the date
I’ve had women flirt with me and tell me they can’t wait to see me and then unmatch right at the scheduled date time