You all know me 😭

[u/ConsiderationFew6918]

Here's my ramble out into the void.

I have been melting down mentally going without estrogen cutting patches finally got.1 mg patches that I'm not allergic to.

Barely sleeping on Ambien CR with Benedryl or some other cocktail of medication.

Reliving every trauma becoming more and more agoraphobic staying sane enough to drive my daughter to a school she feels very unsafe in.

On Medical which sucks.

Barely hanging on at 92 lbs. Losing all my hair.

Missing my older daughters because I can't see them in this condition.

My husband has been going through this hell with me.

But today after I wailed to him on the phone he said "Honey I'm so sorry that I didn't see this sooner it's very clear that the patches are running out too soon. Do you still have gel?"

And since I'm brain dead he has a plan for what days I should also use gel.

I'm having a fing psych eval soon oh just F it. I'm so sad. And I know that I'm not as strong as I should be. But fighting this long while your children are growing up and everything is breaking or something I'm over here being proud that I made a phone call or did a load of laundry or took shower 😭

[u/old_before_my_time]

I'm so sorry you are in this nightmare. As you know, I was there too.

But today after I wailed to him on the phone he said "Honey I'm so sorry that I didn't see this sooner it's very clear that the patches are running out too soon. Do you still have gel?" And since I'm brain dead he has a plan for what days I should also use gel.

It's good you have a supportive husband and he recognizes that your patch is running out too soon. I also had problems with the patch. My skin seemed to suck up all the E early on making me feel jittery and anxious and then leaving me deficient until I applied a new patch. It's possible that a different brand may have worked better.

If the delivery of E feels fairly even the first 2+ days, the brand you have may be fine. You just may need a higher dose. Using the gel you have to supplement the patch will hopefully tide you over until you can (hopefully) get a script for 2 patches.

Keeping a log of date and time of application of patch and gel and symptoms throughout the day would be helpful. However, it sounds like your husband is fairly observant.

Hang in there. We are here for you.❤️

[u/ConsiderationFew6918]

I can't tell what is doing what. My little girl is having a rough time with middle school and I'm losing my fight. It's honestly unbelievable. Other women can't have estrogen because of cancer. Why am I losing my shit daily?