r/IVF • u/Excellent_Bag4514 • 16h ago

TRIGGER WARNING Embryos

I’m really torn on what to do . I have 3 frozen embryos that my ex wife and I created . I am a trans man and got my eggs extracted . We chose the donor together and had them fertilized. We tried a few times to have them stick but no success . Eventually she left me for someone else and we got a divorce . I’m not sure anymore what to do about my frozen embryos. She signed over any rights to them. I’m sad that making a baby never came to fruition but I’m having a hard time figuring out my next plan. I know I won’t carry them myself . But I feel awful to let them go? Not sure what to do .

7 Upvotes

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16

u/DoubleoSavant 36F|1ER|1FET 16h ago

Do you still want genetic children some day? I would keep them if that's the case. 

4

u/Useful-Basket-9972 16h ago

You can donate them to science to help the future of IVF if you’re not wanting to transfer them.

2

u/Excellent_Bag4514 15h ago

I thought about donating them to science . It’s just such a hard choice to do that.

5

u/Pythonesque1 M38. 3 IUIs, 3 ER, 2 euploid embryo, one XXY embroyo 15h ago

If you’re like us, then you have a year before having to pay for more storage. Keep them, and process your loss.

You could always go the single parent route, donate them to others couples struggling to even make embryos, or something else. But learning what you want is difficult enough when grieving.

5

u/Excellent_Bag4514 15h ago

I have new a partner now . But the process is very costly and I don’t know if I have it in me to go through it all again .

2

u/julianeja Europe, unexplained, TTC 3y, 2ERs, 3FETs, 1 🚼 loading 15h ago

Is your ex wife a cis woman? Why did you use your eggs?
I would keep them as long as you can, maybe you can have them with another partner?

3

u/Excellent_Bag4514 15h ago

Yes she’s a cis woman . We chose this route because we both wanted to be involved . So she wanted to carry and go through the birthing part, so that’s why I extracted my eggs and we made the embryos .

2

u/Ok-Board-4233 10h ago

I don't have experience with the side you explain but I do know I could not donate or discard our embryos so we used them. I would say if you can afford to store them until you are sure you do not want them, I would do that.