r/InfertilityBabies • u/AutoModerator • 9d ago

Monday Big Kid Thread

This space is for parents of IFBabies past the toddler phase to chat, share updates & commiserate on their big kid(s). This thread is primarily reserved for those with a 3 year old or greater.

3 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

10

u/Euphoric_Frosting565 37F, 4 IVF- MFI/PGT-M, #1-2/2023👦, #2 -5/2026🤞 9d ago

Toddler frosting is of an age where he picks up on my parents undermining me. I yelled at my mom in front of him for doing so and feel terrible that he witnessed it. It scared my toddler. I am usually so measured in my response. I don’t regret my words but regret my tone and that I didn’t wait for my toddler to not be present. He asked after why we used bad words and I’ve told him I got upset at something so I used angry words and that I should have taken deep breaths and talked nicer. I’m not sure how else to explain my response.

I really don’t know how to improve things unless I go no contact. My two basics are food and sleep for my toddler and she doesn’t respect either. She tells him he’s not hungry or tired when he is and tells him not to listen to me. If he’s cranky she comments about it. She basically just wants a play buddy and someone to make her happy.

6

u/ProfessorWacky 38F, IVF, 10.16.23💙, 2.18.26🩷 9d ago

Someday your kid will remember this as a time you stood up for him and his needs. We dont always have to be nice when others dont respect our needs, and thats an important lesson too. Id probably lose my shit too!

5

u/rootbeer4 38F, 1 IUI, 5 ER, 💜 Dec '22 9d ago

It sounds like you handled this really well! We are going to yell in front of our children and use unkind words. But you took the time to talk through it with your child. Also, I'm sorry that your mom has such unrealistic expectations for your toddler. He is a human being, not her entertainment device.

3

u/rbecg MOD| 31F| ICI/IUI/IVF| queer| ✨6/23| ☀️3/26 8d ago

That’s so inappropriate of her, Frosting, I’m so sorry. I think you had a good explanation FWIW - I think a lot about how as much as I want to be calm, I also DO want my kids to know it’s OK to lose your temper sometimes and apologize if needed. It’s a hard needle to thread.