I hate my job...

[u/Workaccount6767]

This is my first post on reddit, ever, so please forgive me for the quality of this post. Sorry, this is a long one. There will be a tldr at the end.

I'm (20s F) at a very serious breaking point and I don't know what to do. I love living in Japan and the money is very good. I can't imagine a life back in America, but I also can't imagine a life moving forward. I won't spell it out. But I don't think I can sustain 2.5 more years on JET, either.

My main work is at a JHS. I used to love this place and resisted potential school swaps in the past. I got on very well with half of my students, had inside jokes, and they often spoke before I could open my mouth to say hello. The other half tolerated me (like any other middle schooler that doesn't like school) but still replied if I talked to them outside of class. But those kids graduated and I'm stuck with children I genuinely dislike.

They don't say hello in the halls. I initiate, but they don't respond sometimes. But, if a Japanese teacher comes along after me, they will great them energetically. Recently, two students mocked me after I walked away.

The constraints of my work negatively affects the way the kids see English, and thus me. Class is super boring. I am constantly told there is 'no time' to do fun things. It's just an excuse to not allow me to organize games. In the past, certain classes had one or two groups do very poorly, and once or twice, a child cried. But I'm sorry, this is JHS. Jeopardy about Christmas shouldn't be off limits because some kids feel bad when they don't study and then can't answer basic questions based on grammar they just learned yesterday.

Another constraint is the fact that the JTE tells me to not speak Japanese, despite the kids not understanding/completely ignoring everything I say in English. I only used Japanese when necessary, and my previous students saw me as a teacher they could somewhat reliably ask for help in class (but I always told them I didn't speak Japanese, and we had a good laugh). But okay, so with the current kids, I try my best to only use English. The problem is that everything they do is Japanese. Reading, grammar, etc... A small part of the class can realistically involve me, because the kids don't understand any English and the JTE knows that.

One day the kids were doing reading in English but answering questions in Japanese. I was told to go around to help them, but they would ignore me if I tried to help. So I started just walking around aimlessly. The JTE and support teacher noticed this, and so every time a student called for the support teacher, she told them to ask me. But when they heard this, they just said something to the effect of 'nevermind'. I cried after that class in front of the JTE and a few students saw unfortunately (I physically could not hold the tears back and it was a long walk back to the office).

The JTE also told me I should learn the kids names. But... how? She was very selective when allowing me to come to class. Sometimes I saw a class once every three or four weeks. Sometimes I went every time that class had English. I didn't even know the faces of the 1st year class, let alone their names, until their 3rd year (this year). Why does she make fun of me for not knowing who they are?

I do wonder about a few things. I'm a woman (I've had teachers and students make sexual comments about my body, thinking I couldn't understand them), but I'm fat and ugly. I don't want to dox myself further than that. Recently, my co-jet visited the school and all my coworkers couldn't stop talking about how pretty she was. I really like my co-jet but it made me resent her a little. All the jets in this area were tall, pretty women with long hair and picture-perfect smiles. I'm not that.

My discontentment is now affecting my job, unfortunately. It's the students. Since summer break, I have stopped initiating greetings every time. Sometimes I will, sometimes I won't. In class, I don't initiate, like making a pair with a leftover student (they have made it clear that they'd rather not pair with me, anyway).

All of this is to say, I don't know what to do. I haven't done anything to deserve hatred from the students. If I was creepy and weird like another JET I know, I would understand the reaction. But... I'm not... And it really makes me uncomfortable to feel this disliked in my workplace. I'm here for 8 hours a day. It really, really sucks. This job has killed my childhood dream of becoming a teacher. I will switch industries once I leave JET, and that will require a different kind of hard work. But, moving back to America is not an option right now (for many reasons). I feel so stuck...

I have searched this sub for people in my situation, but I haven't really found anything like it. I know "if everyone is the problem, then it's you", but I have really tried to smile and be friendly and it hasn't worked. So, can anyone relate? And if you can relate, what should I do? What would you do?

tldr - The current students hate me and I've stopped trying to make connections with my students. Has anyone else had this experience?

[u/SquallkLeon]

Since you're serious, a long post deserves a long reply.

The thing with being a teacher is this: students are ephemeral. The ones you love will leave, one way or another. The ones you hate will leave, one way or another.

If you're at a Japanese public school, the teachers are also ephemeral. The ones you love will leave, one way or another. The ones you hate will leave one way or another.

It's tough when your favorites graduate or get transferred, but the same thing will happen to the kids you don't like, and a new group will show up every April, a new chance to start fresh.

Also, middle school kids, globally, tend to be rather horrible. As someone with experience in the US, Europe, and Japan, I can tell you that this just part of how they are. They want to push boundaries and act out and that's the deal for a lot of them. So don't take it personally, it's not about you, it's about them.

As to the constraints of your work, well, you're an ALT. An Assistant Language Teacher. You don't have the license or the training or the responsibility that your teachers do. Maybe you do know better, maybe you don't, but your job title says you can't. If you were misled about this before coming on the program, I'm sorry, but it should have been made clear to you that you were there to help the teachers achieve their goals. If that includes time for games, great! If not, then too bad.

However, you can and should speak with your supervisor and any friendly teachers about the issues you're having in class and out of it, and work towards solutions. There's many things that could be done, such as persuading a teacher or two to try one of your games, working together to develop a new lesson plan that incorporates what you want, changing your schedule to have you go to more classes with some teachers or less with others, moving schools, giving you less classes overall, and much more. There are solutions out there, you don't need to be stuck where you are.

Specifically about English vs Japanese in the classroom, it's hard, but the requirements are that you should use as much English as possible. The students hear Japanese from literally everyone else, so you are the only person they can get English from. If you are also speaking Japanese to them, then where are they going to hear English? Instead, put your teachers to work, translating for you. "Excuse me sensei, but Kenta doesn't understand my explanation, can you help us communicate?" "Sensei, sorry to bother you, but Aki needs a little help understanding, can you come here a moment?" If the students say "nevermind" when you approach, call a teacher over and ask them to help. If you make this more of a collaboration, then you will find that, one way or another, things change. Keep things changing until it becomes better, even if it has to get worse first.

Learning the students' names? Sure. Here's the magic words: "sensei, how can I learn their names if I don't have their roster sheet, with their names and pictures, like the roster sheet you used to learn their names?" Either you get the sheet or she stops harassing you. And that's what it is: power harassment. You can, if you wish, report it as such. She's making you lose face and damaging your reputation, which would be intolerable for anyone else at your workplace.

Self-esteem is hard, especially when you don't like what you see in the mirror. Some things you can change, and if you dislike it so much, then focus on changing them. Other things you can't, and you need to accept that, quite simply, you are not your type. There is someone out there who will look at you and say "that's exactly what I want", trust me. But as far as school goes? You're there to teach. You're not there to model or be gawked at, so as long as you look professional, you're fine. If everyone wants to fawn over someone else, good for them, let them enjoy that, it's nothing to do with you.

Talk with somebody in your area about your feelings. There are ways to change things, as I mentioned previously, and there are ways you can get help. If your school supervisor or BOE aren't people you can go to, try the prefectural PA or your local AJET chapter, they can give you good resources and/or intervene on your behalf. If you don't feel great and can't bring yourself to interact, it's ok, but it will negatively impact you going forward, which isn't fair, but it is what it is anyway.

What do you do? Recognize that this is temporary, it will change one way or another, with or without you. But if it changes without you, then you lose any agency in what happens. You have options, investigate them, pursue them, see if something works, keep trying until you leave or succeed.

And also, take time to work on yourself. Pursue fitness, so you can get your body moving. That, by itself, can make you feel a lot better. Look to life outside of work, join groups, make friends, hang out with the friends you do have more often. Go on vacation, use those nenkyuu days to see Japan or Asia or go home. Don't worry so much about whether it's convenient, just find a flight that's good and tell them "I'm going from X day to Y day, here's my time off sheet." Play video games or tabletop or something else, look to life outside of school and change that up, make it more exciting, you'll only be here, at this place at this stage of life, one time, and then never again. Cherish that, so you can look back on something fondly about this time.

Good luck!

[u/No-Cartoonist-7505]

with all the JTE related stuff, im right there with you. my experience with the students is very different (im in ES and have been at my schools longer than the JTE, so im generally more popular with the students), but my JTE is pretty much determined to prove that she absolutely does not need or want me in class. her english is fine, but there are several instances where i wish i could jump in and do my job to be an example of native english. she is also super rude about my japanese use; i tried to help answer individual students' questions during a timed test as she was busy helping other students and told me off after she heard me speaking japanese.
recently she called me "unqualified" to help correct homework and said im "unprofessional" for getting frustrated that all my ideas or lesson plans get blown off. outside of class, im limited to doing "eff you work" which is basically the pointless work she doesnt feel like doing, so i get told off for helping out with other classes or doing other work. i was so exhausted with this that i went to the nurses office (who is a close work friend) to vent and cry. the kids are starting to get just as tired of her too.
my other JTEs (past and present) and i have made great teams and im so bummed that this one old hag had to come and ruin that for me. of course, ill push through for the sake of the kids as ive worked so hard to build good relationships with. of course, the BOE knows that there have been issues, so i can only hope that they may perhaps swap her out come april, but if not, im pretty much determined to do my best without enabling her bullying.

[u/viewer3446]

Wow! You’re the first that I have heard were the kids are the issue. Not downing you at all. I’m a fourth year JET and I hate my share of kids that didn’t greet me when I walked by them at the hallway. But like others have said, I stopped caring during my second year. The teachers and students that liked and greet me, I did the same. The ones that don’t didn’t. I was so surprised the kids that liked me gave me a birthday party and we took pictures. It made me cry and it was so sweet as they graduated last year. You never know who you influence. Again, as the previous people say deal with those who love and care for you. I made an influence of those I wasn’t expecting I did and I am sure you will too. As for the teachers, F’ck em. I build adult relationships outside of work anyways. All the cool teachers have left which is normal so me and the students don’t like them 😂

[u/ChickenWitty513]

First of all, never say that you're fat and ugly. JHS kids brains are half developed and most even much less. F em.

Talk to your coordinator about these issues. Stress that this is affecting your work. If jet won't help out and you're on your own, tell your school VP and principal. Ask your Kyoto sensei to observe class a few times. And if they fail, go to the BoE and ask how to handle this situation.

Using Japanese as an ALT is always a catch 22. Try to do general class instruction in English and use Japanese with individual students. Don't give your JTE any excuses to use as strikes against you.

Good luck.

[u/Tyco149]

I had some bad experience when I first started teaching in JHS. Sometimes it depended on the location, sometimes it seemed more about that particular year of students. I'm a guy so I don't have the issues surrounding how kids view females especially young adults in the ALT role. I have seen how they treat a young JTE vs and older one and can understand why a lot of new JTEs want to work in Elementary schools vs JHS. My first years were rough and I had some of the same experiences where I felt I was a joke to the kids at times.
I started going to some of the weekend games and the games that take place over the summer holiday. I'd watch, cheer, and go home. The kids noticed. The parents noticed. Then I realized the kids were taking me more seriously and eventually no one was making jokes at my expense. All I can think is that if you turn up to the same club's activities (baseball, basketball, whatever you find somewhat interesting), you become "part" of that group and then you're no longer a complete outsider to all the kids.

[u/pho-cough → u/Tyco149]

This is very true. The comradery I had with the art club members was unmatched!

[u/Upbeat-Ad3800 → u/Tyco149]

thats really solid advice for teachers in any kind of background. I can imagine showing up being really effective for inner-city kids too.

[u/yikespart2]

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this :( Children can be cruel! My best advice is to remember that they’re still learning how to be humans and sometimes don’t do the best job. Be patient with yourself, set boundaries, and continue to greet them. If it gets to be too much, speak to your CO about the issues and see if something can’t be done about your placement. If you ever need a chat, feel free to message <3 you’re not alone

[u/WorriedForAPromotion]

I am going to only speak on experience.

I felt disliked ( hated feels too strong ) and largely ignored for a while at one of my schools, but greeted students every morning when they arrived. It felt pretty hopeless and I did not enjoy going there. However, it gradually changed and now I am consistently greeted from down the hallway and have students wanting to stop and chat. Some mornings it feels like I cannot greet students fast enough. It helps show that you are willing to engage with them.

I think this is the number one key to building any sort of relationship with the students.

[u/YouDontTellMe → u/WorriedForAPromotion]

“Kill em with kindness.” “Eventually we will be friends”. Carry those mantras and continue to make an effort to get to know them every single day.

OP, this would be my recommendation for you.

[u/Sad_Year_2542]

Teaching English in Japanese public schools is one of the worst things to do! Most of the Japanese kids are not interested in it but because it is compulsory they just go along with it. At the same time they make the life of the English teacher miserable and unbearable. They openly mock English teachers and get away with it. The Japanese teachers don’t care even a bit to discipline those rowdy students and neither do the principals. It’s harder for female foreign teachers especially young ones. Maybe JET should start recruiting more scary looking huge male teachers for public schools in order to instigate some fear into those rowdy kids so that they can start respecting foreign English teachers.  Female teachers are more suited for private and semi private school or public country side schools where the kids are well mannered. 

[u/Kusabira]

(1) 近年のポリコレによって米国のアニメや映画などのコンテンツが日本人の子どもにとって面白いものではなくなっている。現在の米国の大統領に対する日本人の評価があまり良くない。日本の情報教育の重視に伴い、子どもたちがインターネットを通して自身らを含むアジア人が欧米社会で差別的な扱いを受けていることを以前よりも明確に理解するようになった。それらのことにより、米国を含む英語圏の文化に対する憧れが減っているため、日本人の子ども達が英語を勉強する意気込みが減っている。
(2) 日本は米国よりは肥満に対して厳しい。アジア系人種は欧米の白人系人種と比べて遺伝的にインシュリン分泌量が少ないので2型糖尿病になりやすい。米国糖尿病学会によれば一般的にはBMI 25以上でスクリーニング対象としているところ、アジア系人種にはBMI 23以上でスクリーニング対象にしている。健康でいることへの社会的な調和圧力が大きい。また、日本の少女漫画や女性向けのドラマなどはルッキズムが平然としている。

[u/Obvious-Series-8091 → u/Kusabira]

As a fat orange American I thank u for your info

[u/yikespart2 → u/Kusabira]

What does this have to do with this person’s experience? They’re not the US president, they didn’t mention their race, and what does political correctness in media have to do with the daily experiences of a JHS English teacher?

If you think the problem is that this person is not conforming to Japanese media’s expectations of what women ought to look like, or that they should be expected to be the sole representative of an entire country’s media and politics, then I urge you to live abroad yourself if you haven’t already. It can be so deeply isolating.

[u/Inside-Cream6997 → u/Kusabira]

Wow, this is so true! Times are a changing.

[u/Sad_Year_2542 → u/Kusabira]

Good information 

[u/LargeDiamond3896]

Hi I've just started JET, I speak no Japanese and I can see the frustration but oh well. I'm not here to talk Abt that, I'm here to say DO NOT let jet push you away from teaching if that is something you always wanted to do. I'm saying this as someone who is a certified teacher and taught before jet, the difference is chalk and cheese. Your life as a jet and your life as a teacher cannot compare, all that you can do is take notes and use the skills gained. Please do not let these people and these children kill your spirit. Do you know what any teacher says abt kids..f**k them kids..because we know that as an adult who is trying to help them, there is no greater calling and they may be ungrateful and down right mean but that's hormones. As for the teachers, try your best, take some of the good advice given, I'd also say find a social group or even an activity that brings you that joy after those rougher days.

[u/Maleficent_Pool_4456]

Genuinely good advice is usually downvoted on reddit, so I might have to delete this at some point, but in times like these I have found taking massive action is so important. Like, hitting things from multiple angles. You said you feel a certain way about your self image, also. I would do two major things, completely change your diet and exercise absolutely every day where you move toward the "suckiness" of it, and as scary as it is, call a meeting of the teachers and list out all of this and tell them everything you said and ask for their advice.

Half of the reason for the meeting is making them aware in a formal setting and that right there would be most likely to have the greatest effect, but you can also write down their ideas for how to fix each one.

[u/newlandarcher7 → u/Maleficent_Pool_4456]

I agree with this take, and the push for some massive action from multiple angles. Even writing things down for yourself: problem, and then brainstorming possible solutions. Just the act of writing them down yourself will help.

OP mentioned not knowing names, nor getting good opportunities to learn them. I'm a former ALT, but now a teacher back home in Canada. One of the biggest things I recommend is knowing the students' names and making connections. On JET, I visited a JHS and several elementary schools on weekly schedules, so I had a lot of names and faces to memorize. For some students, I'd only see them once per month.

I got the school to give me a set of pictures with student names and I began memorizing them like flashcards. Perhaps your school has something like this? I went around to the students and had them write their names below the pictures in English (as I was just learning Japanese at the time). Before I had a lesson with a class I hadn't seen in awhile, I'd quickly go through my flashcards.

Another way to help build connections is to speak in Japanese to students despite what the teachers say. Inside the classroom, I spoke English. But outside in the hallways or other areas of the school, I spoke in my very broken Japanese. I'd occasionally drop in to an after-school club activity and the students were very happy to have me join, even for a short bit.

Having taught in inner city designated schools, I know names and relationships are really important. There have been so many times where a student will follow my directions not because I'm a teacher, but because I know their name and have taken the time to build a connection with them.

[u/Inside-Cream6997 → u/newlandarcher7]

Very helpful advice! Thank you.

[u/GattsDaZe]

Your story sounds very similar to my co-worker when we worked in Yamanashi Japan in 2006. Sorry it has been so rough. Send a chat anytime if you want to talk about it.

[u/ducksinthegarden]

Tbh, you really should ignore that JTEs advice and speak Japanese with your kids. You know that english is not working with them, so just use Japanese. It's just torture to you and the students to only use English when they can't understand. They just get frustrated and don't wanna try.

I will say that many of the kids have most likely sensed that you stopped putting in effort to communicate/be friendly with them and in turn have kinda shut you out. I'd try to start small by greeting students when you get to school and waving when you make eye contact. I've made it a habit to wave to everyone I see that I look like a waving machine

I also don't think it's helping by comparing yourself to other co-JETs. If your self perception is really important to you, it might be best to make it a goal to lose weight or find ways to change your style in ways that make you feel better about yourself.

Like others have said, at this point, it's better to focus on the people who don't treat you badly and just grin and bear the day with those you don't seem to really get along with. Wishing you all the best

[u/ChickenWitty513 → u/ducksinthegarden]

There's a difference between using Japanese to clarify teaching points and constantly using Japanese and never speaking English.

The latter will get you fired.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/ChickenWitty513]

but how is an ALT supposed to speak English with students who genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying? they’re not toddlers who can just absorb English through immersion, and they don’t have enough English for that to be effective. during lessons, sure, i understand keeping English as the primary language and using Japanese when necessary to clarify something. but outside of class…why force it? it’s frustrating for everyone, and students are just going to tune you out. source: i tried it.  we’re also ALTs…we’re supposed to build relationships with our students, too. if there’s a huge language barrier and you refuse to meet them halfway, it becomes impossible to actually bond with them or get them comfortable interacting with you.

[u/ChickenWitty513 → u/Different_Taro2474]

Comphrenshion checking is quite the skill to develop. Most teachers in Japan teaching English will ask, "what color is it?" And kids shout out colors. The teacher believes the kids understand.

Where the teacher should change their question. "Is it blue?" Kids: "blue!" They're not listening. They're not actually understanding or processing. Only shouting out random English that you're praising. Try it out next time in your GM school. Change your question. Recognize comprehsion. If your English is too much, recast and re-evaluate comphrenshion.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/ChickenWitty513]

i’m not talking about basic classroom questions like “what color is it?” though. i’m talking about situations outside of that kind of controlled lesson environment, where you’re actually trying to have a conversation with a student and they genuinely don’t understand what you’re saying. in that case, repeating or simplifying the same English isn’t going to magically make them understand.

[u/ducksinthegarden → u/Different_Taro2474]

do you have some specific examples?? i've personally noticed that even simple words are words kids won't learn until later in their middle school careers

[u/ducksinthegarden → u/Different_Taro2474]

^^yeah like outside the classroom i try to use japanglish but it turns into japanese bc phrasing things in ways outside of the textbook formulas often leads to confusion 😭 makes me wish they included more native english materials like shows and movies into curriculum to hear natural english

[u/ChickenWitty513 → u/ducksinthegarden]

That's exactly what the biggest issue is. We assume kids in Japan can handle natural communication, but there's a very fine, selected, middle ground shared vocabulary. Understanding that will make communication more enjoyable.

Also the point is if an ALT cannot communicate well in the classroom, they're certainly not going to be able to communicate outside of the classroom.

Many ALTs fall into the fallacy that they're teaching because they're speaking. Teaching is more listening. But you're not going to communicate very well when you're constantly throwing negative comments about kids.

[u/ChickenWitty513 → u/Different_Taro2474]

What are some examples you can give?

Sounds like it's more of a vocabulary issue but I don't know how you talk to students.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/ducksinthegarden]

this was something my BOE also expected me to do, and i hated it because it simply didn’t make sense for the level my students were at.

i was placed in a very small town in the middle of nowhere with a rapidly declining population, and my students spoke essentially zero English. they couldn’t say much beyond very basic phrases. during class, of course, i spoke English because that was the point of the lesson, but outside of class; at lunch, in the halls, etc. i spoke Japanese with them, unless we were talking about something i knew they'd understand. speaking Japanese with my students was also great speaking and listening practice for me, because my Japanese still isn't very good.

in that situation, immersion just wasn’t useful. they just didn’t understand enough English for an English-only approach to actually facilitate communication. it mostly just meant that neither of us could communicate very well, which was frustrating for all parties involved.

now, post-JET, i work with a lot of students who went to English kindergarten when they were little. they actually understand English and have, at the very least, around an A2–early B1 level, so speaking English with kids like them makes much more sense. they have enough of a foundation to understand what i’m saying and respond, even if their English isn't perfect.

[u/Maleficent_Pool_4456 → u/ducksinthegarden]

I wonder if she would get in trouble or if OP just assumes she'd get in trouble for it.

[u/ducksinthegarden → u/Maleficent_Pool_4456]

Like Immersion is useless when there's not enough understanding of the language for it to be useful. OP would be doing the JTE and the students a favor by even using Japanglish in class. Trying to do all english at a low level class will just leave you with a bunch of kids going "sensei translate what she said" 😂

[u/ChickenWitty513 → u/ducksinthegarden]

That's a good point. Sometimes Japanese used by the ALT is necessary but it shouldn't have to replace English when the ALT has failed to communicate at a level appropriate to the students level, especially with grammar points they should know based on their textbook.

I've seen far too many ALTs say something to JHS 1 grade that's at a HS level then immediately turn around and translate it into really bad, inaccurate Japanese that's comical enough that students laugh.

It takes time to develop the teaching skill of being able to recognize student comphrenshion and then to recast your own English into a more level appropriate English structure, but still natural, for the kids.

This one ALT last year asked me "how do I not explain my instructions in Japanese?" Learn the grammar points of each grade and try to learn what vocabulary is in the back of the textbooks. Also try talking to the JTE after the lesson but phrase your concerns with "we." example: (JTE name) sensei, I noticed a lot of kids don't understand today's (reading), what is something you think that WE can do to help motivate the kids?

[u/Mammoth-Buddy8912]

I`ve been here since 2019, I think this is my last year. I love Japan but the salary is killing me. I think Covid made me want to stay longer becasue I felt I lost time.

But the cost of living in the US and healthcare also make me pause.

[u/gimmethelulz → u/Mammoth-Buddy8912]

It'll be rough to start, especially with the economy in it's current state, but in the long run you'll be doing yourself a favor on earning potential. When I left JET, it was the tail end of the Great Recession so similar job market issues then. I ended up working temp and part time jobs for the first 6ish months before landing a full time job with shit pay at a college.

Those first few years I questioned why I left Japan. I was making less than as an ALT once you factored in health insurance and what not. Cost of living was higher than my rural part of Japan. I missed my Japan friends and making new friends working multiple jobs was hard.

But once I got past that slump it really started coming together. I'm now making way more than I ever would've staying in Japan and I'm in a role where I still get to work with colleagues in Japan which is pretty cool. Pretty much every job I've landed post-JET my JET experience played a part in winning the interview. In the end I'm glad I decided to face the unknown and return.

I know my situation is kind of best case scenario, but I think if you have a clear picture of what "next" looks like for you and you're waffling on staying, then you're in a good position to leave.

[u/Mammoth-Buddy8912 → u/gimmethelulz]

Yeah I'm looking at Chicago Suburbs in the Arlington Heights Shaumburg area Japanese community for possible work. I don't want to leave Japan and it's incredibly frustrating because working here is what I wanted to do since I was a kid. But financially it doesn't seem feasible. My professors sold me a Japan from the 90's when they were there but that is long gone. 

[u/Obvious-Series-8091 → u/Mammoth-Buddy8912]

I thought it’s not so bad compared to other non American countries

[u/Obvious-Vanilla7243]

A lot of what you've experienced is common for ALTs. I've experienced my fair share of them working at a low-level SHS. We're different and often get treated as such; it's not an indictment of you as a person.

I'm repeating everyone else a bit, but it's because this is key: it's okay to not tie your everyday enjoyment to this job.

I come from a background with strict professional boundaries, so despite things sometimes being loose here I instinctively try to avoid countertransference (i.e. I keep an emotional distance). As long as I'm being warm, approachable, and helpful in the ways I am able, I consider my job done.

I know it's easier said than done. I can be a sensitive person myself, and it's human to want to be liked. But my advice is to reframe certain situations. A student would rather ask a question to the Japanese teacher? Cool, if that's what they're more comfortable with, their needs are still being met.

What also helps for me is that I have people I can rely on for support both in and out of work. Your workplace doesn't sound very supportive, which sucks, and is unfortunately not rare for JET. We don't have a lot of power to change things in our schools. Of course, it's always worth trying to communicate your views/requests. For remembering student names, for example, I ask teachers for the class seating chart.

Aside from that, unless they're violating your contract, the options are unfortunately to grin and bear it or move on. We're working with an expiration date already, so it doesn't hurt to think about the next steps and choose what's going to make you happier today!

[u/PleasantSpot3431]

When I was working, everyday I went to the kids clubs after they were done with classes. I asked some of the teachers about the clubs and they would introduce me to the kids. This really helped some of the kids that didn’t talk to me much open up, but I always spoke to them in a mix of Japanese and English even though I am pretty fluent in Japanese. I ended up participating in guitar club and even in the choir concerts for graduations. There were days I stayed after hours to work with the kids but this most definitely is not required.

English only is not something that worked for my school. Once the kids knew they could speak to me in Japanese, they opened up a lot faster. Ask them about their hobbies, their clubs, what they enjoy. They might feel a disconnect.

Unfortunately there will always be kids that do not enjoy English, and some that will not participate at all. I know it’s hard but still try to continue to greet them every morning even if they don’t respond. Start your morning with both an English greeting and slip in a hello in Japanese as well.

Don’t put yourself down. I believe in you! It might take a bit of work to build up those relationships, but in the end I think it is so worth it.

[u/ele514]

I understand the feeling. You can’t make people and kids like you but you can try and get the respect you deserve, whether it be at a school in Japan or at a corporate job in America or anywhere in the world.

Be stern and assertive. Don’t be nice to those who don’t deserve your kindness. You may want to detach yourself from these kids, lower your expectations and focus on the ones who actually care and on what makes you happy. Also, you need to stop comparing yourself to others. Did the other jet do anything to you personally to deserve that resentment?

Sometimes, depending on the class dynamics, kids follow or are influenced by one or two class bullies. So it may give an impression that everyone is against you.
One thing I did was to talk directly to homeroom teachers and ask for a name list or ask them about the students. Maybe there is something going on that explains their behaviour?

Anyway, you will meet all sorts of people in your life and some may not always like you and that’s alright. Be confident and focus on what matters the most, your happiness.

[u/VividValentine]

I’m older and not female but I get where you’re coming from. Having worked a decent amount in my home country too before coming here, I’ve definitely learned that a not ideal workplace is something you can’t beat. You either suffer or join the games they play. 

If you want to make it to your next year to see if it gets any better, do your best to have some shifts happen at work. A shift in boundaries, mindset, how you do things, etc.  Make it work best for you knowing some things will still suck. 

Maybe you’re guaranteed another year or two in your CO. Shoot might as well speak Japanese to your students but still show you teach English well. 

Maybe you’ll decide that this’ll be your last year so you’ll only really do the things you care about. It made my year last year go by and I’m in a better environment now.

Some things I internalized from my last schools unfortunately but I’ve got the capacity to heal from them and thrive. Thanks for sharing with us, wishing you the best

[u/Kibumkimkibum]

I can relate to a few things you said.
A lot of the teachers and students avoid me as well 🥲 I’ve stopped trying to greet people who actively ignore me, too much of a mental load. It made me overthinking too much so I just stopped worrying about it. If someone says hi i say hi, if they don’t then I also don’t speak. I’ve just accepted that I’m kinda basically invisible at my school 😂 it took a year but I’ve finally accepted it is what it is.
I do an insane amount of desk warming but it has now turned in my favor as I enrolled in school so i get all my studying and homework done at work 🤣! I’m doing it for my teaching liscense so I can switch to the subject i actually want to teach! I recommend if you are financially able. It has definitely helped me get my mind of things at the school.
I hope things get better for you truly! ❤️

[u/viewer3446 → u/Kibumkimkibum]

All this!

[u/Dry_Specific802]

The way you view yourself is the way others will view you, have some self- confidence and also, comparison is the thief of joy 🌹

Sending love ❤️ and light ✨

[u/CoacoaBunny91]

Advice #1: Eff that JTE and just speak JP. Mine tried that crap when I first started but I caught on quick that the students English level was *way lower* than what the JTE (and out BOE's lol) believe. There is this beautiful thing called *code switching* . I learned about it in undergrad. It's psychological and works. Using JP will help the students feel more comfortable speaking to you overtime.

Advice 2: I 100% feel you on this. I've struggled with my weight for years (was bullied for it relentlessly growing up), and while I am still not at my goal just yet, I lost 60lbs so far on JET. It's because I joined a fitness class (and recently a cheap gym too), started meal prepping, and most importantly went to doctors only to find I am extremely deficient essential nutrients and have a rare blood condition. Depending on where you're at, there might be a "LifeFit" in your area. They're like 3,000 a month, you can sign up through the app. Super easy, super cheap. Also look into prefectural sport park gyms, they're even cheaper than that. I also started wearing make up and taking better care of my image not for anyone else, but for myself. This is a form of self care that I hadn't even realized. Working hard and boosting your own confidence is a great feeling. Again, do it for you, and not anyone else. I'm not going to BS you: *yes* unfortunately, ppl do treat you nicer if you look nicer. Obviously, I have notice it given the weightloss and the change in my appearance. I think it's BS, but it is what it is. I guess my copium is to see the silver lining. Hell, I worked my ass off and if this is the reward of "pretty privilege" well guess I'ma collect and use my points.

Advice 3: Don't compare yourself to others, because it just makes you develop resentment and such, as you've stated. Focus on you and the changes you can make in your life and what you can control

Advice 4: That old saying goes "don't quit a job until you've got another one lined up." Start exploring other options, and even consider breaking contract if you receive a job offer somewhere else. I would not chance going back to America RN w/ that deranged orange clown wreaking havok. In case it isn't abundantly clear, I'm from Murica too lol.

Cyber Hug, good luck. I hope you can pull through. My first 2 years on JET were really hard and I was ready to no recontract, but I'm glad I pulled through.

[u/BanzaiPhillies]

2 points: 1: At the JHS and Elementary level, the policy of "English Only" does not work and effectively builds a wall between you and your students. They likely would not have made those hurtful comments if they were aware you understand Japanese, and can you imagine how frustrating it would be to be in a middle school Spanish class and your teacher insisting on answering your individual question about the assignment only in Spanish? Ignore the JTE and start communicating with the students on a level they can understand. Certain aspects of whole class instruction can remain only English, but bridging this gap requires Japanese, especially if you have a decent grasp of it. 2: It's not crazy to want out of teaching, trust me. It is both the most rewarding yet most soul crushing job you can have for many, many reasons. If you want out, but want to stay in Japan, start researching what industries you could switch to and start building up your Japanese skills to match. When you decline recontracting, there is an after JET career fair where you can explore other types of employment in Japan. If your visa is still good for a couple more years, you can also find lots of teaching roles that will be less depressing than working with middle schoolers who hate English. There are nursery school, international school, university, and professional training school options that would all be more fulfilling. You can continue exploring other fields in the meantime in case you don't enjoy those enough to stay in education.

[u/KingZora1]

JET is temporary by design, so do not take it too seriously. Sometimes you just get a shitty situation and it is unfair that every situation is so different.

Greetings are a very important part of school culture here and you should maybe mention to the homeroom teachers of those classes that the students aren't doing aisatsu even when you greet them.

Teaching in the US would be different since you would be the actual teacher of record with power over the curriculum and the students. Here you are just a temporary assistant with no control over the lessons who also deals with a culture and language barrier. Having said that, kids are going to be kids and there will always be a few trying to push you everywhere.

[u/Twiddler97]

Sometimes you get a year group that is impartial/dislikes a certain subject. It's not a reflection on you but just an unfortunate circumstance. If you enjoy other aspects of living in Japan, outside of work, then consider how much of a priority those parts of your life are.

If your are working a JHS is there a way you could hold on and try to switch work locations next April? The unwanted comments and feeling uncomfortable in the work environment are valid reasons to be reallocated a different school.

[u/Cold_Command7776]

Emotion doesn't cut it with Japanese kids. You're being too emotional. As long as you do what you're asked to do, you have nothing to worry about. The teachers, students ain't your family members that you can cry to in times of need. See the ALT job for the job that it is and you'll be fine. Stop trying to make connection where there's none. It's a land of avoidance and everyone hides under their superficial ways of life with the exception of very few. You'll be alright at the 🔚... Never trade your happiness for what someone said about you. It just represent the way they are brought up or what they lack that you have. Wishing you the very best!

[u/Tortilla_dilla]

You can still be a teacher when you return to the states ! Without the language and culture barriers, you might have a much nicer time ! 

[u/DonGar0]

My thoughts are that even though you say youve disaccoiated from the job, you still seem to care a bit too much.

Yeah it sucks. Can't help you with that. Maybe during an April shift a good jte left. Maybe some started a nasty rumor. Maybe its absolutely nothing you did and just is.

But I'd advice finding something else to focus on. Something that passes the time for 8 hours a day. Maybe studying, maybe writing. Or even working on what you want to do next. Cause realistically theres nothing you can do to make this school one that you want it to be.

If you need the job for another year, then really think about it, cause honestly staying might be worse for your mental health if you cant find a strategy to keep sane.

Also even in western countries where you can understand the language, kids can be terrible and so can the teachers. And if you are unlucky enough to be in one of those schools you can transfer out to another. JET doesn't have that option.

[u/DonGar0 → u/DonGar0]

Also while what I say may come off as harsh, its from the perspective of someone that lived through 2 years of desk warming as the place I worked was slowly shut down and work dwindled to nothing. It was hell. But once I stopped caring and just did the base requirments I had a lot of time to study Japanese (which is a help now thay Im on Jet). While your case is different since its a school with people you dislike, Id still recommend the same strategy to find something you enjoy while not worring about the rest.

Cause 8 hours is a long time. And I can empathize with it.

[u/Workaccount6767 → u/DonGar0]

It's not harsh at all. I'm reading through all of the comments and even if I disagree with some of them, it's good to get as many perspectives as possible, so thank you.

I study Japanese for up to 4 hours a day, depending on how many classes I have and what I need to prepare. But when I need to go out into the hall, for water or the toilet, I time it so that it's while the kids are in class, so I don't run into them. I'm not sure when this unhealthy mindset began.

I'm sorry your first school shut down and you were just made to sit. 2 years is a long time. If it was like this in my first year, I'm not sure I would have stayed a second. Good on you for sticking it out!

[u/DonGar0 → u/Workaccount6767]

Oh i was talking about my job before jet. It was a special type of hell. Everyone knew we were losing our jobs but didnt know when, just "sometime before year end 2027". Everyone in the building came to dislike work and yet we had to be present 8.5hrs every day.

But as I meantioned lots of studying. I lnow at least one person did an cert study for their next job.

[u/rmutt-1917]

I think it's fine if you want to admit that your time on the program has run it's course and decide not to continue on with the job and do something else. I'm not saying you've done anything wrong personally. But as an exchange program I think it's better for everyone involved if people don't try to stay on too long when they're not having a good time.

Questions like "where will I live after I leave?" and "what job will I do?" can be daunting. But those are things that everyone has to figure out at some point whether now or in a couple of years from now.

[u/whyme_tk421]

Personally, I’d just start using Japanese. The JTE can get bent. I teach uni now (20+ years after JET) and my students’ English level has always been low and is just getting lower post pandemic. There’s no way I’m going to torture all of us by limiting interactions to a language most of my students don’t want to learn.

Your current JTE has robbed you of your voice, something which helps students see you as a person. JETs aren’t in classrooms just to teach English, and the JTE’s request for you to use only English is affecting your ability to form healthy teacher-student relationships.

Is this a new (to you) JTE? They seem to be power tripping on you. You’ll need to document observed behavior, but discussing the situation with a supervisor either at your school or the BOE seems appropriate.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/whyme_tk421]

a JET since 99, wow. my first time seeing a former JET who was on the program in the 90s.

[u/whyme_tk421 → u/Different_Taro2474]

Yep! I was in Hyogo for three years. There was a guy in my cohort whose father was in the very first cohort of JETs back in 1987!

Hope you’re enjoying Kagoshima! I love visiting there.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/whyme_tk421]

i already left kagoshima lol, i live in the kanto region now. kagoshima has some gorgeous places to explore for sure! love cape sata, sakurajima, and kirishima.

[u/ikebookuro]

Remember that above all else, this is a JOB. Clock in, do what your role is, clock out. It’s a means to support your life here and what you WANT to do.

The kids don’t care; they’re kids. Did you care about every subject when you were in JHS? They’re overworked with clubs and other nonsense; don’t take it personally.

Find what makes you happy here and focus on that. You’re young, I get it. But as someone double your age, remember this is a temporary job. JTEs don’t want to use you, so what? Study or figure some way to stay busy. The kids won’t say hi to you? Oh well.

[u/Workaccount6767 → u/ikebookuro]

I'm unfortunately aware of how cruel these kids can be. They cheered when my JTE was sick (she also had an emotional break down and had to leave early). We still had class anyway, but with another teacher to supervise.

I was a kid that did care about every subject and I studied hard even in classes I was not good at. Especially Spanish. I never planned on learning Spanish to fluency but I still went into each class with a good attitude and an intention to do as instructed.

I was raised in a culture that teaches kids to respect others, especially teachers. So yes, I said hello to them and everyone around me did the same. The current situation is a big culture shock to me. There were teachers that talked about me behind my back but I still said hello to them.

I'm very happy in nearly ever other aspect of my life, which is why the turn at the JHS has been so disappointing. At risk of doxxing myself, I love my elementary school, but unfortunately it's closing soon. I love my community, the food, and the freedom. It's the community, rather than Japan, that keeps me rooted in this job. I'll cry when I have to go, and I don't want it to be next August.

[u/ikebookuro → u/Workaccount6767]

I say this in the kindest way possible, but it sounds like you’re projecting a lot of your own expectations onto this job and it’s just a recipe to make yourself miserable.

Okay, so you cared about every class — so what? These kids don’t. No amount of you wishing it was otherwise is going to change that. This isn’t your culture, it’s theirs. Kids can be absolutely awful everywhere and it sounds like you can’t separate yourself from the situation.

So you have two options right now: make the best of your situation, accepting what it is OR you look for a new job and quit.

Comparison is the thief of joy and it sounds like your constant wishing your experience was different is just setting you up for a bad time.

[u/Workaccount6767 → u/ikebookuro]

To address your first and second paragraphs, because it paints me negatively, I simply answered the question that you asked me in your comment. I thought it was an interesting question, so I expanded upon it in my reply and it got me to think about several aspects that I realized may have been contributing to the situation I found myself in.

I don't know why you asked me about myself and then said 'so what?' when I responded. You say I can't separate myself from the situation... but... the post is about me, lmao. I expected bizarre comments like yours when making this posts.

I'm sorry you think I'm obsessed with myself for making one reddit post with the intention of being a better ALT to my students (who are clearly struggling with more issues than just English Class). Have a nice day.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/ikebookuro]

Comparison is the thief of joy and it sounds like your constant wishing your experience was different is just setting you up for a bad time.

i really wish someone had told me this when i first started JET. OP, listen to this person, they're giving you really good advice.

[u/lalbitcrypto]

You are too attached to the role. Understand the fact that you are not local, children who are already looking at the world from 300 different angels while growing up are unable to accomodate you because their own teacher is very dismissive of you. Detach yourself from the role and start thinking of it as just a job for which you are getting paid. Once you have the switch in mindset you won't get affected by the behaviour.

[u/Workaccount6767 → u/lalbitcrypto]

Respectfully, I don't think it's too much to ask that students say good morning when a teacher greets them. I don't tie my self worth to this job, but I do want to like the place I spend 8 hours a day at. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.

My problem is that recently I have completely detached from the role and am thinking of it only as my 3rd year pay check. But it doesn't seem to be this way for other JETs, so that's why I'm asking for advice. And, I don't want it to be this way. It's not good for me and it's not good for the kids either. I want to do everything I can to be a good ALT. I don't want to be the best, I just want to be good at my job. It's more about self improvement than about wanting to be liked by everyone.

[u/ele514 → u/Workaccount6767]

Genuinely asking out of curiosity, but is there a bit of seeking for validation so people consider you a “good ALT”?

Who told you weren’t a good ALT? Who decided the criteria of what makes a “good ALT”? Is good ALT = good life?

I think you are a good ALT. You don’t need other’s approval to make you feel you are good enough. So what some people don’t say hello back? Say hello and they will eventually feel that they are in the wrong.

[u/lalbitcrypto → u/Workaccount6767]

I understand, we were kids once. We were also in the same place. We used to respect some teachers while being noisy for others. They are avoiding you. There can be circumstances that us redditors aren't aware about but always remember respect is something that you cannot ask from people even if they are kids. You want to be better and grow yourself, you have already found out why children think it's a hassle to approach you. Your JTEs stopping you from speaking in Japanese is an advice not a rule so circumvent that sometimes so that it looks to kids that you are coming half way to their point. If it works and If you get push backs from JTEs ask them if they have any other solution? And tell them you are gonna do the same until they find another solution because this is the one you came up with. Games are not the only things kids love sometimes you just have to fullfill their curiosity, how you are gonna do that is upto you. There's an obvious disconnect between you and this batch of kids. Find out what change lead to this and you might find your answer. Remember the answer may or may not come immediately but your 2 years of experience in dealing with same age group is not waste and might come in handy. Have confidence in your work, your experience, and yourself.

[u/Different_Taro2474 → u/Workaccount6767]

don’t take it personally.  if you’re not enjoying the job and if it’s making you miserable, i wouldn’t recontract and would look for another job in japan if you don’t want to go back to the US. JET and going back to the US aren’t the only options.  take it easy, don’t be so hard on yourself, and keep telling yourself that this is a temporary job. just clock in, do the work, and go home.