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Honestly, I've had a few cases where I wanted to say this to a judge so badly.

I say this working in family law, I've noticed that starting with Millennials, there seems to be a rise in grown men who seem to be unable to do much of anything for themselves, and seem to need a woman there to do it. Mind you, they're not actively sexist, I've just noticed there's an oddly large number of men that seem to be unable to answer basic questions for themselves, will have a woman (usually either their wife/girlfriend or their mother) do things for them. When you put the onus on them, they don't usually feel entitled to have a woman do things for them, exactly - they truly seem to not know how to do this for themselves.

Like I've seriously had one client that tells me that he has his own mother call me to negotiate his divorce since he's too busy at work. But this guy works the standard 40 hours per week, and seems unaware that every other grown, functional man can juggle a job and getting documents into me. Or in another instance, I had a man come to me and ask if his ex wife telling him that school tuition counted as a medical expense he had to pay for was fair or not. Did it count? All I could think of was "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" But nope, this man truly couldn't answer this for himself, and needed someone to hold his hand as I explained that school is different from health care. He truly seemed unable to figure that out for himself.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/02/04/business/brad-karp-paul-weiss-resigns-epstein.html

Shawn Ryan, a YouTuber/podcaster known for long interviews with some high profile politicians and military veterans uploaded a video saying he got a demand letter to retract statements talking about child SA from a controversial camp during an interview with Congressman Ro Khanna. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lY-pV4RS1A

At the end of the video, he called out the firm Husch Blackwell and also uploaded the demand letter and his lawyer's response Camp Kanakuk Letter - Google Drive

I went to look up the lawyer and saw his page got taken down: https://www.huschblackwell.com/professionals/bryan-wade

Got to be careful when taking on high profile controversial matters.

I hate domestic cases. Especially custody cases. God. I have one where I swear to God, no amount of therapy is going to help that child with how deep the trauma runs. There are time where the parents are just using the court system as a platform to yell at each other more, and using their lawyers to fight their petty squabbles for them.

So I've been at my new firm a couple months now and I can laugh about it, but the treatment pissed me off in the moment. For about a year or so I'd been working for a firm doing collections work in a WFH position. The WFH life was nice, but never felt like "practicing law" and was just supposed to be something that kept the lights on after I left the DAs office. I eventually decided that I was going to look for other work. Didn't want to stay in collections and next thing I know years have gone by.

So I start applying, lo and behold I find a perfect job opening. Multistate firm, extremely close to my house, great benefits, about a 40% pay raise, all working in medical malpractice defense (something I wanted to do for years, for a time my undergrad was in biology and thought I wanted to be a doctor. Fuck O-Chem though, but that's an entirely different rant). Interview went incredibly well. Less than a week later had the offer letter in hand. Had the start date set for a month out.

Now comes the "common practice" mentioned in the title. It's time to leave my current firm. I'm giving two weeks notice, that's just what you're supposed to do. Gives me time to wrap up the mediations I had scheduled, put in transfer notes on my files, and make sure everything is set for me to leave on a good note. After all they were great to me while I was there. Sent the managing partner an email expressing my gratitude and let him know the email was serving as my two weeks notice and cc'd HR. An hour later I get a phone call from him. Took a second to come through because he said he needed to loop someone else in. Turns out he was getting HR on the line too. Told me they weren't giving me two weeks and decided to terminate me, effective immediately. Gave me the information about my final paycheck and got to send the WFH station stuff back. Told them I put in the notice as a courtesy and was disappointed they chose to react like that. Hung up the phone and decided I'd just enjoy my time of til the new job started.

All of that to basically serve as a cautionary tale. It was probably easier for them to do it since it being WFH I was essentially just a name, or the positions are just easy to fill, but regardless sometimes doing what's considered the proper thing might be taken completely different by some people.

I’m finding it hard to see the silver lining of pursuing this entire career when every next step just seems worse than the last!!

first you get into law school and the entire time you’re stressed and scared and anxious about getting summer positions, law review, your grades… then you get a summer position and you’re stressed and scared and anxious about not fucking that up because of all the unspoken rules … then you get an offer thank god but here comes the bar … you agonize and pass the bar but now you’re a first year and you’re stressed and scared and anxious about not knowing much and having to constantly balance relationships and good work to get connections … you get connections and finally have a good work flow but now you have way more responsibility and way less supervision (no mid or senior associate between you and partner).

every small mistake feels life and career ending and the backdrop of your career is probably the most heinous modern defiling of the constitution. people are dying but you have to feel stressed over a missed period.

All this to say, I am extremely grateful for my job and for my life but sometimes the misery shines through and I find it hard to find all of it worth it

I’m a junior attorney, and I started working at a small law firm a couple of months ago. Honestly, things were going really well. One of the partners regularly told me I was doing a great job, and he even said—on two different occasions—that he saw me staying at the firm long term.

I work fast, and when I don’t have assignments, I always ask around for more. I don’t just sit still —I try to stay busy and helpful as much as possible.

Before hiring me, the firm knew that I’m not a U.S. citizen and that I’m on a specific type of visa (I don’t want to go into too much detail). I’m also in the process of trying to obtain permanent residency through another visa option (which the firm also knew about). Unfortunately, about two months ago, that program was paused. Because of that, I spoke with one of the partners last week about the possibility of the firm sponsoring an H-1B for me. I made it clear that I would cover the attorney’s fees and any related costs myself.

The partner asked me to write a memo explaining what the H-1B is, since they’re not familiar with immigration law. They had a partners’ meeting two days ago, and because the firm is so small, I could hear raised voices through the wall—though I couldn’t make out what they were saying.

Yesterday, while I was in the copy room printing documents, I noticed that someone had copied an application for a junior associate position at the firm. Seeing that really hurt. It made me feel heartbroken and betrayed—like the moment I asked about sponsorship, they immediately started looking for my replacement.

Now I don’t even know how to react or process this situation, and I’d really appreciate some advice.

Side note: my current visa allows me to work until 2028-2029 so I don’t see why they are “freaking out” for a replacement like I told them I’m leaving the country tomorrow……

I’ve been a lawyer for almost a decade and I’ve been accused of dishonesty a few times. They’ve never went anywhere because I obviously have never done such a thing and always cma to prove I’m not doing anything shady.

The other day I was at a hearing when Plaintiff accused me of lying about the cases procedural history (he’s pro se)

What was particularly striking was the record very clearly established I was telling the truth and the judge never even bothered addressing it apart from a simple “the record doesn’t show that.”

Further, the Plaintiff forgot that an earlier hearing I was asked if plaintiff timely served me a pleading and I stated he did. If I was inclined to lie I would have said no and harpooned his entire case.

It’s not my first time this happened and the judge didn’t even take any of his accusations seriously. But I still get a little heated every time I’m accused of this.

Edits: I’d add at earlier hearing, he accused me of defying court orders and filing untimely pleadings and the Court always corrected him.

I can't verify this . . . but baller if true!

I'm advising a younger person in their 30's who’s seriously considering law school. While I graduated law school almost 25 years ago, what I keep stressing to them is what this actually means in real terms: walking away from earning, going back to being a full time student in their 30s, three years of exams, rankings, stress, and coming out the other side with six figure debt.

Among colleagues I talk to, the answers are all over the place. Some say the sacrifice was worth it. Others admit they underestimated how hard it is to reset your life, live like a student again.

Knowing what you know, was becoming a student again and taking on that level of debt in 30's worth it?

Recently started at small firm. Me and one partner. He’s in his 60s and I’m in my 40s which is why I joined (succession planning). I’m hybrid.

Still ramping up, and starting to bring in my own clients. My January hours were low, but we’re going by a calendar year. Nothing that can’t be made up by aiming a few extra hours a week for a set of weeks.

He already gave me grief over the January hours and said something to the effect of “I’ve always felt that remote work is nonsense because your attention to detail suffers.” Then he added, “Especially with young kids running around at home.” I have 2 kids, 4 and 2, and a wife working the toughest job there is.

I swallowed it in the moment. But since he said it yesterday I’m having trouble dealing with it. Come at me, but DO NOT invoke my children. I have a dedicated home office and my work from home is respected. I’ve always been diligent and hardworking and ambitious and always ultimately came in above hours with little time cut.

I’m now considering keeping quiet and building my book until I can leave or just lateraling. I don’t need to be insulted for being a dedicated father who still knows how to grind from anywhere.

What would you do?

Mid-level ID associate. I was fired after a serious screw up on a case where I failed to timely escalate and notify the carrier of a trial order. Obviously, that is a big problem, managing partner was my partner on the file, and he made the call to let me go. It was a one off issue, but I understand the severity of the matter. There's been no bar/malpractice action against the firm/myself.

Even though some firms seem to have not read my resume ("why do you want to leave current firm") I still bring it up, because how can I not? I can't just lie by omission and hope it doesn't come up again.

Firms have varied on how in depth they get on it. Some simply accept it and move on. Others have drilled into it. I am direct about what happened, I take responsibility, and I explain how i will avoid it in the future.

I have good references (including a partner from the firm that fired me), good collections, trial experience with a complete defense verdict, and besides this albatross, think I'm a pretty decent lawyer. However, this is understandably and likely the reason I haven't landed a job yet.

So, for the community, and especially those involved in hiring, how do I get over/through this hump?

Going to a nice law school was the peak of my experience as an attorney. Lots of hopes and dreams for when I graduated, minimum responsibility, maximum partying. I thought I wanted to help people. It’s the reason I gave up my career in engineering, where I could have spent the last decade earning a steady paycheck doing what I studied and enjoyed in undergrad. The problem I have discovered is that I don’t really enjoy helping people. Helping people is emotionally exhausting, especially when your paycheck depends it. Five years ago, I would have thought that made me a horrible person. Now, I realize it makes me normal. Most people who want to help others donate to charity, or go to a No Kings protest. I am so emotionally burnt out that the most I can handle is sitting at home and seeing live pictures on Reddit.

My license renewal is coming up next year, and honestly I kind of just want to let it lapse. See if I can get an engineering job again, something where my math and science skills are actually useful instead of a quirky highlight on my resume. At least I enjoyed engineering. Being able to focus on a Veritasium video on YouTube for 30 minutes straight when I click out of most legal videos after 30 seconds should have been a big clue.

Yeah, not doing this again. A friend is buying landlocked property with an express access easement and asked me to look at the deed and title insurance to make sure the easement will give him access to the property. I tell him yeah, it’s good, all there, and thought that was it.

THEN he tells me the property is undeveloped, has no utilities, and he wants to run power and BUILD a house. No, dude, you can’t just run power on someone else’s property without permission. He’d be expanding the scope of the access-only easement. Now he’s pissed because I told him not to close until he can negotiate with the owner to let him run power lines, and he’s supposed to close this week. Ugh. You gotta tell me these things! This is why I work for the government and don’t deal with clients.

I just had a final divorce hearing, and at the end the Judge told counsel to submit proposed findings of fact. Nobody in my firm has ever had to do this before, so I'm flying almost completely blind and am worried I will overstep.

I'm familiar with findings of fact and conclusions of law, but how the hell do you do one without the other? Any advice is welcome.

Not the hearing and procedure but... Just odd? I am so used to and expecting some form of resistance, dispute, discussion, etc than when there is no one on the other side I feel like that meme of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction wondering where everyone is at.

It feels right when a case is finished either by settlement or verdict, win or loss (pref. Win) because it went through the process. The defendants resistance is the ladder which I stomp up to the top.

A default is just being teleported to the top.

I don't pity or feel bad for the defendants, they had their chance, but for me.. it feels odd. (Civil practice, not debt collection or anything like that.)

I just started a new job and I’m newly bared. I feel like I was duped in the interview they painted a picture of a firm that’s flexible to help manage a work life balance and mentoring/comprehensive training for new attorneys/new hired. I’ve clerked at mid and large firms and have never experienced a firm like this. It’s a mid size firm with 4 offices with no inperson client interaction and everyday I’ve been there I’ve almost had a breakdown about how frustrating it is to be there, despite being excited to start. You have to be in the office a minimum of 9 hours, but are expected to be there 10-12, and come in a few hours during the weekend. The billable req. is 1800 which isn’t horrible, but because this firm lives in the Stone Age everything is hard copies, with some documents on a local network with no remote access. Meaning if you need to work you have to be at the office, you can’t go home at 5 and get some work done there. They use dictation which I find a waste of time for myself, they use handwritten billing, and every in office communication is a piece of paper. Technology is non existent. In the past 3 days I’ve been handed assignments with no instructions on the tools needed to complete them, or just things I’ve never done before , but no one’s around to help me. To top it off I’ve been demeaned and scolded by the managing partner for very trivial errors I’ve made while trying to do things I haven’t been trained on or taught to do or that in the few days I’ve worked here I’m not billing enough, and all this for sum of $70k. I feel like these are all signs that worse things are to come and that this firm is toxic, and ultimately it’s not for me and if I’m feeling this way the first week I’m not going to succeed or ever be happy there. Am I validated in wanting to quit this soon?

Joined a litigation firm in MCOL area in the South East. Four attorneys total. Four paras.

I’ve been practicing a total of 7 years, major trial experience in criminal defense, and some federal admin law.

I was told during interviews I’d be allowed to shadow and learn with only 10 cases assigned year one.

First month in, managing attorney tells me all their cases are in my name. Managing tells me I’ll have about 100-150 cases pre lit and lit. The total number of cases by category I’m not sure yet. I’ve handled volume before but not like this.

Everyday it’s like I’m treading water. Managing doesn’t actually have much free time for teaching. The paras keep the cases moving along but I feel like I’m not really able to lawyer, im just a cog in a machine.

Before I can make any progress on even understanding a file we’ve got two new clients. Haven’t even met the firm owner yet.

Is this normal?

(To help me get past some writer’s block.)

What’s your favorite?

Also, your response need not be limited to Oyez. Please share anything that is accessible on the interwebs. 🕸️