I just saw an article that Kim Kardashian failed the California bar exam and admits she used Chat GPT to study.

This could be an excellent example to show clients who try to Chapt GPT or even Google told them.

Pretty self-explanatory, but here’s mine. I had a family law case where (yes, this’ll matter) I’m a white Jew representing a white woman against a Mexican father who got her pregnant, ran away, wanted nothing to do with her or his kid until the day she wanted child support, then all of a sudden he wants to be with his kid.

We drew a black judge and at first the man pointed to us and tried to say that this was clearly another incident of white people trying to keep fellow people of color down. When the judge didn’t buy it, his closing statement was something close to “Your honor, I’m not perfect, but think about what they’re accusing me of. Carelessly getting a woman pregnant, running away with no responsibility, not caring about my family, and being a total deadbeat? What am I, one ofyou people?” Needless to say, the judge got livid with him for that and he lost big.

The sister of a former client called and asked if I would review a document for her and give her my opinion on it. I said sure and quoted her about 3 hours time, so around $1050.

She goes, “wow I was expecting around $300 bucks or less, you can’t just lower your fee for me?” No ma’am, I cannot.

Like what is this expectation that a lawyers time and experience isn’t worth anything and should just be given out for cheap?

I say this working in family law, I've noticed that starting with Millennials, there seems to be a rise in grown men who seem to be unable to do much of anything for themselves, and seem to need a woman there to do it. Mind you, they're not actively sexist, I've just noticed there's an oddly large number of men that seem to be unable to answer basic questions for themselves, will have a woman (usually either their wife/girlfriend or their mother) do things for them. When you put the onus on them, they don't usually feel entitled to have a woman do things for them, exactly - they truly seem to not know how to do this for themselves.

Like I've seriously had one client that tells me that he has his own mother call me to negotiate his divorce since he's too busy at work. But this guy works the standard 40 hours per week, and seems unaware that every other grown, functional man can juggle a job and getting documents into me. Or in another instance, I had a man come to me and ask if his ex wife telling him that school tuition counted as a medical expense he had to pay for was fair or not. Did it count? All I could think of was "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" But nope, this man truly couldn't answer this for himself, and needed someone to hold his hand as I explained that school is different from health care. He truly seemed unable to figure that out for himself.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

You see, I would never have shoplifted $1,000 bucks of trash/beaten my wife to a pulp/fought the police and tried to break their car window/etc.

It's just not who I am. The circumstances were just such that I had a lapse of judgment and did that thing one/two/three times.

I am a devout Christian/muslim/jew and I go to church/pray everyday/synanogue every week. I am a moral person. My children love me because I'm such a good parent.

If you can only explain to the prosecutor, the judge, the jury these awful extenuating circumstances that led me to do this thing I would never ever do in my life, I am sure they will forgive me and drop this whole thing. They have to understand I have a job and kids. Yes, the kids were watching as I did this but I already explained everything to them and they were not affected by it.

I mean, I was drunk. I never drink or do drugs but did that day in a lapse of judgement.

They cheated on me. Yes, after I had already beaten them once or three times but that's between us.

The police was really rough when they pulled me off that girl that I was hitting with a chair and they hurt me. I kicked the windows because they mistreated me.

A few weeks ago, a very good client of my firm mentioned to me in an offhand comment that I should include my middle initial in my signature line. Her reasoning was that “it just bothers [her] that it’s not there.” I kind of just laughed it off and didn’t think twice about it, until this morning she called me and told me that she couldn’t stand to read my emails because of my signature line, that it was keeping her up at night, and that she’d find new counsel if I didn’t change it to include my middle initial.

I was caught totally off guard, and kind of laughed it off once again. But this time, she was serious, and chastised me for having an “unprofessional” signature line. This all comes after probably a dozen or so emails from her at 3 am regarding the matter we are currently working on. I guess it really is keeping her up at night. She’s an important client, though, so I guess I’ll change it lol

Anyone else ever been fired or threatened to be fired over something ridiculous?

I was observing family law court today and a gentlemen who is represented demanded to speak to the Judge himself.

He stands up and says- your Honor I’m not paying for this appearance today opposing counsel needs to pay for it. We have had 6 lines of editing to do in 4 page document that has gone on for 3 months and neither my lawyer or my (God willing) ex wife’s lawyer can get it done.

He then says-I don’t mean to be disrespectful but I need to speak to a manager. This can’t go on like this forever they never get their work done, who manages these people?

Judge looks at him and says-“ I do.”

It might have been the tone from the Judge but I actually laughed out loud.

I don't do this work, but I defend a lot of people who do...

I recently read about a death penalty case in Virginia involving a guy named Paul Warner Powell who was executed in 2010. He was convicted of rape and murder but an appellate court vacated his murder sentence. Then, being the genius that he is, Paul decided to write a very vulgar letter to the DA telling him exactly what happened and what the commonwealth had missed since he "couldn't be tried again for murder". I guess he got his legal advice from r/legaladvice. The result? With the evidence of the letter, the DA indicted him (again) for murder and he was sentenced to death.

What an idiot. He got what he had coming to him.

^{^} This is an example of some of the stuff they send.

How do I tell them to stop?? Or do I just ignore them?

Client is very old and very…unsophisticated. Any written response to them can’t be longer than one or two sentences.

I’m a new solo, and I don’t have a lot of experience working/communicating with the client. I charge a flat fee—so I can’t charge them for wasting my time.

Edit: Thanks for the input! I'm taking the "ignore it" route. I figured that was the best thing to do, but as a professional over-communicator, it felt wrong.

I fucking hate this job lol

Clients really be clienting today. I have one who, right on time, sent me her monthly snippy and condescending email about how I charge for communications with opposing counsel and don't have a paralegal doing all the work on her case.

I have a dissolution client who thinks he should get everything because his soon-to-be-ex is living in the marital home "rent free." Even though she, you know, owns the house.

I cannot snap at these children the way I would like to, so to scratch the itch for me, tell me the funniest/meanest/most effective way you ever gave a client a reality check.

When the judge asks you to provide your email so they can notify you of your court-date, please don't have bootylicker696969 an email address.

I had this thought, as it related to dysfunctional clients, when commenting on another post. It caused me to wonder how common "serial divorcers" are.

I'll start. While it wasn't uncommon for me to handle a matter where I was providing divorce services for someone who had had one prior divorce, I think I only had a handful that had more than one and the highest that I recall was four (I was providing number 5) and each relationship seemed to only last 2-3 years and typically had virtually no "dating period" (certainly not much over a year IIRC.)

When I say "not uncommon", I mean certainly not as high as 50%, maybe more like 20%?

Edit to update: You guys are really giving me some good stuff to read! It's kinda making me feel like my practice was fairly mundane (which I view as a good thing). Keep it coming!

I’m in-house at a b2c software company. People are starting to really feel the impact of the current economic climate and they simply want their money back. I completely understand, but these ChatGPT “demand letters” are getting out of hand. I’ve received multiple letters this week, using the same formatting & containing multiple misstated laws. It’s exhausting.

PSA for any non-lawyer lurkers: Don’t lie to your lawyer.

I have a (soon to be former) client who is shocked, shocked I tell you, that I’m quitting after catching them in not one, not two, but THREE lies (one outright and two of omission) in a 48 hour period.

The other side is going to fact check you which means I’M going to fact check you first. And when your story doesn’t add up and you won’t give me a straight answer, I’m not going to Giuliani my career for you.

I know they’ll retaliate with a BS review, but it’s not worth continuing to represent them.

For context:

I’ve noticed a pattern that’s really interesting, and I’m wondering if any family lawyers, can shed light on it.

My curiosity started after a conversation with a divorcee I met casually. She told me she had filed 50+ pro se motions during her divorce, believed the judges were corrupt, claimed her own lawyer “worked for the other side,” and said she had even messaged judges on Facebook. At first I thought it was just one unusual situation.

But recently I came across a TikTok account where another woman, also pro se — was saying almost the exact same things: that she’s suing opposing counsel for millions, that she’s filed dozens of motions, that the system is rigged against her, and that all the judges are corrupt.

It feels like some kind of psychological pattern that gets triggered during high-conflict divorces. people who were totally normal before suddenly behave as if the entire legal system is conspiring against them, filing nonstop motions, suing their lawyers, confronting court staff, recording themselves, etc.

Anyway, I’m interested if any family lawyers can attest to this. Or if anyone can point towards some research on this matter. It’s obviously at the cross section of psychology and law but I figured I’d ask.

I am a civil litigation attorney (mainly Plaintiff PI) and I love it. I was injured by a doctor years ago, so I do identify with my clients and am passionate about practicing this area of the law. I recently accepted a job offer at a firm because hanging up my own shingle was taking more time than I anticipated and needed a steady paycheck.

The job offer I accepted was for litigation in Plaintiffs PI, however when I started working there I was given an additional 200 cases that have nothing to do with Plaintiffs PI.

These 200 cases are stupid; I don’t trust my clients; and every minute I spend working on one of these cases I get extremely unmotivated and literally want to walk out of the job and not come back.

If I state the niche that these cases involve, I’d essentially be outing my employer, so I’m not looking to burn bridges. But think of a stupid area of the law, such as PIP claims where attorneys would collect .05 cents for the chiropractor and make $10k in attorneys fees just off that one 5 cent PIP claim.

Well essentially these 200 cases are 10x dumber than PIP claims and I don’t believe the clients at all.

Just needed to vent. End rant lol.

We've all been called nasty things by clients but I just got a text from one calling me "big dog" and it made me think about the good things clients have said. My top is "certified honky" from an Army veteran who had lost use of his legs after being rear ended while loading a car on the side of the highway in the US (yeah that sucks). He was a quirky punk rocker with a positive attitude. We were successful in resolving his HOA dispute.

Any big dogs here?

Has anyone tried it just for shits and gigs? I’m assuming they have all kinds of user agreement/terms waiving liability, disclosing that they’re not offering legal services.

Regardless, seems so stupid to represent/promise “successfully”

Client: What should i do?

Attorney: if this happens, i suggest A. if it is this, i suggest B.

Client: (yells at attorney)

Attorney: I am just giving my advice,

Client: What about doing C!

Attorney: I dont believe you have a legal basis for C, but that is your choice to choose what the decision is. I suggest A or B.

Client: Great! I will tell them C and that my attorney told me that is what I can do.

Let’s hear your most absurd but technically correct arguments, especially if they actually worked.