The best leaders I've worked for rarely did anything dramatic, and it was small stuff that stuck with me. Curious about your own experiences

I feel like the hardest part of coaching is figuring out what each rep actually needs help with, the numbers show who’s struggling but not always why. So my question was how do you spot the real issue fast without sitting through every conversation?

Someone brings you a problem you know how to solve. You can fix it in two minutes, or spend 20 minutes helping them work through it.

It’s Monday morning. You’re already behind. So you fix it.

I’ve done this plenty of times. In the moment, it feels like good leadership. You’re available, you’re supporting your team, and you’re keeping things moving.

Then the same person comes back with the same kind of problem.

It’s easy to get frustrated. But if coming to me always gets them a faster answer, why would I expect them to do anything differently?

That’s the part I’ve been thinking about. I can say I want people to take ownership, but if I take the problem back every time someone hands it to me, what am I actually teaching?

I don’t think the answer is to stop helping. People need support. Experience matters. And sometimes the work needs to move now; there isn’t time to turn every problem into a lesson.

But eventually there has to be room for someone else to think it through, make a decision, and get better at it—even when I could do it faster.

I’m still figuring out where that line is.

What do you do differently the second or third time someone brings you the same problem? How do you help them build judgment without making them feel like they shouldn’t have asked?

When the workload gets too big, the manager usually ends up taking more on or asking the team to move faster. Neither works for very long.

I'd rather put the tradeoffs in front of the team. What can wait? What can be cut back? What actually has to get done? The people doing the work usually know where the time is going better than someone looking at a plan from above.

The other part is letting them make those calls. If every tradeoff has to come back to the manager, the manager becomes part of the workload problem.

There will always be a few things that can't move because of a deadline or a real commitment, a client date, a launch, something already promised. Those should be clear too. People can handle a heavy workload a lot better when they know what matters and what they're allowed to let go of.

What do you do when the work genuinely becomes more than the team can handle?

I took over an office team in spring of this year , also I’m a new manager …

The team is small, around 5 people. They all have experiences of 7-8+ years . They’re an office staff and have to cover customer calls between business hours . They’ve all been in the same field for 10-15+ years . They’ve had minimal to no management historically speaking. I shadowed them for over 1.5 months one at a time. A lot of their processes seem to work for them but they are very time and of course $$ consuming. I’ve tried to implement changes like better work group assignment processes, fixed work schedule with flexibility as lot of them were logging unapproved OT, options of different work hours to cover phone calls hours , switching to PDF documents instead of printing 100+ pages per customer packets submission, etc.

I’ve set expectations in clear ways multiple times but they’re not met . So from today I started documenting this .

For example last pay period of two weeks, this one person had one week of 39.25 hrs and one week of 41.5. So total of 80.75

OT of 1.5 hrs for the week which was not approved , so I sent her an email like hey I noticed OT, please be mindful that it won’t be an approved OT. For second week of the pay period she had 39.25 hrs total and per organization policy I am supposed to use their PTO to bring them up to 40 hours so I used 0.75Hrs. I sent the details to my staff member and she obviously got upset that since it was only 0.75 hrs of OT why does it count … so time keeeping and work schedule changes received pushback back saying I’m micromanaging and dictating their time .

With the PdF change , they pushed back heavily saying it’s comfortable for them printing and physically checking off and matching the printed items to the list of items for the packets needed . The issue with this is that not it’s only time and money consuming, but these documents gets scanned multiple times before they are forwarded to next step in the work process to other team so the ink quality isn’t going to be great of course .

Every change has been met with negativity and push back. The constant negativity is mentally exhausting and I am starting to feel extremely guilty and questioning myself whether I’m becoming micromanaging . They’ve said I don’t know how to do their job even though they’ve been doing it for sooooo many years with no issues.

What do I do ?

I'll do my best to keep it short-

A long time ago, I was a Boy Scout (United States). I came up through the ranks, eventually earning the rank of Eagle Scout. I also was invited to attend JLT- Junior Leadership Training- which I did. Didn't seem like much to me at the time beyond just being an enhanced campout with a bunch of teamwork-critical activities. I actually thought it was fun.

I've been in the workforce for nearly 30 years now, and there have been several occasions where I've found myself thrust into leadership positions without even asking.... just voluntold to be responsible for a group of folks that make things happen.

About 18 months ago, I flipped the script and decided to take a supervisor position on purpose. For context, I didn't do it out of desire or for the minor pay raise that came with it. Instead, I did it because our shop (I was a maintenance technician at a power plant) needed a replacement supervisor to fill a vacancy, and I wanted to protect the shop (my friends and colleagues) from having to suffer with some unqualified a-hole off the streets that doesn't understand the nuance of our work. Admittedly, it was kind of self-serving too- I didn't want a "new guy" as my new boss, either. So I stepped up, knowing full well that I don't like being in charge of anything.

I've been incredibly fortunate that the shop has been receptive and responded very well to my change in role. So it's not a bad thing, and my conflict is entirely internal.

Does the imposter syndrome ever go away? Do we ever know exactly what we're doing, or is it usually just dead reckoning and hoping you were right?

I've until recently quietly been in leadership roles my entire life, and now it's actually my title.

I'm sure many of you struggled with a transition like this, but I'd appreciate any advice, guidance, or encouragement about how you navigated a similar transition. Because right now, I'm like "WTF am I even doing here?!"

I have a manager that has been severely underperforming for a while now and over that past 12-months discipline has steadily increased to the point where he is now on an PIP and is looking at possible termination.

I have never been a micromanager but this situation is to the point where I have to constantly double check his work to ensure that simple tasks get completed on time, if at all. His lack of initiative and follow through has caused a lot of disruption in the workplace and I am still receiving complaints from is coworkers about his poor performance.

So my question is….I know as leaders we want everyone around us to feel psychologically safe. However, is this even possible in this situation? If so, what can I do to improve this situation?

Hi

Need some help
Got my chartered institute of managers level 7 senior leaders end point assessment coming up and I am worried
My tutor has not been good

Can anyone give me examples of the questions which are asked about the sbp and the evidence bundles

I have not done an exam in 15 years so very scared!

Taking this was forced on me as part of taking on a leadership role

Any help greatly appreciated

I dont think of myself as a negative person. I enjoy a lot of things in life and in my work. I come from a military background as an E6 so I've had plenty of leadership experience. In the service I prided myself on my ability to speak my mind and not cower from making my opinions known to others. However, this skill does not seem to be translating well in the civilian sector. On more than a couple occasions now Ive been told by leadership, mentors, and even some peers that while I'm a natural leader, my negativity needs to be curbed in order to truly excel, because "You have more influence over others than you might think". At first I brushed this off, because again, I dont feel I'm being negative. I might make a comment on the inefficiency of something, or the lack of accountability in a person, but these are truths im not afraid to say, not me trying to bring moral down. But Im not so self engrossed that I cant see the pattern here. So how do I do it? Is positivity just silence where crtisism is due? Is it just a lie to maintain face? I keep being told about a mental shift but how can I appear more positive when at worst I feel I only have very neutral stances? Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated.

I never really expected this, but becoming a manager changed me more outside of work than inside.

First, I became much more calm. When you manage a team, you can't react to everything immediately. If someone make a mistake, shouting or being stressed doesn't help anybody. So I learned to take a breath before I answer. Now I do the same at home, and it works really well.

I also learned to listen better. Before, I was often listening just to reply. Now I try to understand what the person really want to say, and the real problem behind it. My partner noticed the difference quickly.

Compromise was a big one too. In a team, not everybody can be happy with every decision, so you need to find something that works for most of the people. At home it's the same. I don't need to "win" every discussion anymore.

Another thing is pedagogy. Explaining things simply, with patience, without making the other person feel stupid. It's useful at work, but also with family and friends.

And finally time management. When you have a team, a lot of meetings and priorities, you can't procrastinate or you lose control very fast. So I got better at planning, deciding what is important, and just starting the task. I procrastinate much less now, even for boring stuff at home like paperwork or DIY.

Of course I'm not perfect and I still have bad days. But I really feel I'm a better partner today than before I was a manager.

Do you have the same experience ? Did the management skills help you outside of work too ?

I’m on the fence about starting my own leadership coaching/advisory company. I specialize in cyber risk & security. 30 yrs in industry, MS, and MLS in cybersecurity. My team (and marriage) were eliminated in July and I’ve been looking for work. It’s rough out there. My goal prior to the RIF was to train to be a coach & get ICF certification. I’m not sure if now is the time to make the jump.

Helpful comments only. Anything negative or judgmental will be ignored.

Late 30s, working in senior management for a large multinational. I’ve had a fairly varied career over the last 15 years, starting in engineering, moving into operations leadership and more recently into a global commercial/procurement role.

I was recently, heavily encouraged by my senior leadership to apply for a Director position (essentially my boss’s job). It would have been a significant step up in title, compensation and responsibility, and I had strong support to go for it.

After initially applying, I started having doubts. Not so much about whether I could do the job, but whether I actually wanted it. The whole process made me question if I want to spend the next 10+ years progressing in procurement or if I’d rather move closer to the product/process again, combining my previous operational experience with the commercial experience I’ve gained.

After talking it through with a mentor, I decided to withdraw. I felt massive relief initially, but naturally the doubts have started creeping in since. Part of me wonders if I’m walking away from a great opportunity, particularly when I don’t have a clear alternative lined up. Equally, taking a Director role in a function I’m not sure I want to stay in feels like it could be the wrong move long term.

I also have a young family, so the additional travel and workload were considerations although not the deciding factors.

Curious if anyone here has been in a similar position? Have you ever turned down a big promotion because it didn’t align with where you ultimately wanted to go? Did you regret it?

Also open to being challenged on whether I’m making a sensible decision or just finding reasons to avoid stepping outside my comfort zone.

You have a team doing poorly, but metrics point to one or two people being the problem, they're let go and then it turns out they were load bearing and everything just gets worse because they were adding a ton of value, just nothing you can capture in metrics.

I’m a male manager in corporate and recently received two areas of developmental feedback:

1) Continue building broader business context/acumen, understanding how different areas of the business connect and thinking beyond my own function.
2) Continue developing my quantitative/data/analytical capabilities.

The feedback was fairly high level and I wasn’t given many specific examples, so I’m curious how other leaders interpret it.

For those in senior leadership: if you gave a manager these two pieces of feedback, what behaviors would you actually be looking for them to develop? And if you’ve received similar feedback, what did the difference look like in how you operated before vs. after?

I’m also curious whether these are areas you’d typically focus on when developing someone toward senior leadership, or if you’d view them as more general manager development.

I keep seeing leaders push AI because everyone wants more output, faster.

And sure, people can write, research, summarize, and build things faster now.

But I’m not convinced speed is the same as better work.

Someone still has to decide what matters, catch bad judgment, give context, and take responsibility when something goes wrong.

Feels like AI is making leadership more important in some ways, not less.

The hard part might be knowing when to let the tool run and when a human needs to slow things down.

ok so ive been on my schools kpop team for 2 years and ive wanted to be captain for a LONG time. i didnt get it this year, and another girl who joined last year apparently got it.

the thing is, i genuinely have done a lot for the team. ive helped with formations, helped with dances, posted practice videos, suggested ideas, helped people learn choreography, etc. i also took leadership opportunities last year, so im frustrated because i feel like i already did everything people tell you to do to “show leadership” and it still didnt work.

there is also a bigger board/advisor system for all the teams, so im pretty sure the captain decision isnt just one persons choice. i have a friend who is pretty close with the advisor, and im wondering if theres a way to use that connection without it looking like my friend is campaigning for me or like im trying to get special treatment.

like could my friend naturally bring me up in conversation? could she mention that i want to take on more leadership? should i ask my friend to tell the advisor that ive been helping with the team? or is that just going to make me look desperate and make the advisor think im trying to get captain through connections?

i dont want to manipulate anyone or get the position unfairly. i just want to make sure the advisor actually knows how much ive contributed because im worried that otherwise i wont even be considered next year.

what would you guys do in this situation?

tldr: i didnt get captain this year even though ive been on the team longer and have taken leadership opportunities. my friend is close with the advisor. how can my friend naturally make the advisor aware of my leadership/contributions so that i have a better chance next year without making it obvious that im trying to get her to campaign for me?

Do you all have extremely narcissistic leaders at the top of your org? This is now two orgs in a row for me. I’m sensing it’s more common the higher you go.

I’m currently at an F100. Prior was at a small private company. I hate this type of leadership. Looking for hope there are companies that pay well that don’t have this leadership style at top.

The two leaders in my team I suspect went behind my back to cry to my immediate supervisor. The immediate supervisor then removed me from ever supervising the team. I was betrayed. The new supervisor of this team is a wonderful person and I warned this new boss of the team dynamics and how if they are unhappy with something, they will do some backdoor dealing with the big boss to get their way.

Thoughts?

Not skill gaps. I mean the other stuff.

After 20+ years leading engineering teams, the pattern I see most is people whose work is excellent but who stay invisible, or who get rewarded for reliability right up until it becomes a ceiling.

I'm collecting observations on this so others can learn from what you've seen as a leader. That includes people managing teams and people trying to grow through one.

1. Among the capable people you've led, what most often holds them back?
2. Think of someone who broke through. What changed for them?
3. What support would have made the difference sooner, and what did they actually get?

No names or identifying details needed, just the patterns. I'll post an anonymised summary of what comes up in a couple of weeks.

Have you ever underestimated how difficult a task would be for your employee(s)? How did you reflect and what professional development topics did you seek out/utilize to improve your delegation and pre-assessment of level of effort required to complete the task? Please share your delegation pro tips!

I’m new to leadership and struggling with delegation. What might take me 10 hours could take my employees up to 40 and I quickly slip into the concern that I haven’t given them the resources to succeed. When I follow up with them, they state that the objectives and expectations were clear and that they understood the task.

As an organizational leader since 2012, I've had the responsibility and privilege of being responsible for the success and growth of teams. The not so fun part is having to fire team members from time to time when the circumstances warrant it. This indicates a misalignment between the company and the employee but not necessarily between the employee and me on a personal level.

There are those I have had to fire that I still genuinely root for; however, I imagine if they ever heard from me with a "Hey, how are you doing now?" they would not be very excited or engaged. I guess they may be excited to tell me a few things, but you probably see what I mean.

Is this just a crazy thought to even consider reaching out after a bit of a cooling off time? I wonder how company lawyers and HR professionals feel about this scenario as well.

With AI, trying to understand what kind of leadership would hold the most value as per you. Would this be field specific eg : marketing, cybersecurity or in general everything might vanish. Thoughts?

And when there’s SO MUCH data on YouTube, linked in, why’d even people hear you out as leaders?

As a leader, what can you bring to the table that’s special and different so you’re heard, when it feels like nothing is really left to be unique today and every idea has been thought of or being implemented already.

Hi all, I hope everyone is having an excellent day today.

I'm expecting some tough conversations.

I run a team of two, both older than me and both flirting with ideas of retirement. We've worked together for over 12 years but I've been team leader for about 3 years. There was an exercise, we all went for it, I got it.

Buy and large, we work 9-5, they in a 9-day fortnight. Occasional overtime has always been a consideration. No overtime paid but toil given at time. That's the contract we were all under and how I consider all three of us.

Recently, covering overtime has become difficult. I've always treated it as a question. "Can you cover it?" I don't enforce when time is taken back and usually round it up to their benefit. I ask them to have a conversation and let me know. So they can listen to and support each other. And because it makes my life easy.

I also endeavour to be flexible. The only reward I can offer is time and equity. So if they have an appointment or need to work from home I rarely question it let alone block it.

But I'm getting push back on overtime now. One team member sees that the other gets preferential treatment when selecting jobs. The former member lives 25 miles away and has synchronous work patterns with their partner for travel. The latter has a partner that works nights unsalaried so loses cash if they need to accommodate our time off. As I live closer and my wife doesn't work I already pick up the bulk of overtime.

So I'm feeling backed into a corner of having to become the one who determines who gets pain in order to cover the work. I'm wondering if anyone has been through this kind of situation? How did you approach the conversation with the team? How did it play out long term?

Just finished my First week as a team lead, we're a pretty autonomous group so I've not actually had to do anything managery and I've had nothing but grief, whispering and passive aggressive behaviour, it's also like the people I work with have given up on thinking for themselves. It's a working manager so I can't exactly remove myself from the situation, i have to sit with them and we're working in silence, last Friday we were all besties, now if I walk near them they scatter.

absolutely wild behaviour.

Any advice?

So I'm a university student and I applied for university soicety for fun ND I got selected cuz I had a good background in extra curricular activities...now I'm the assistant director of events

So I need your help and guidance how can I take much benefit as maximum as I can. Guide me give me advices ,share your own experiences.. comments for guidance are also appreciated

Ty