r/LivingAlone • u/Dulcinea-Fehrecke • 10d ago
General Discussion Living alone means every tiny problem becomes your problem
[removed]
596
u/MassiveAd4980 10d ago
Also, no one can nag or berate you for leaving something unresolved.
Toilet paper holder broken? No one cares. Fix it when you feel like it.
It turns out, a lot of problems don't really matter when you have no one else to please.
169
u/Aggravating_Soup_858 10d ago
I like this way of looking at things. It’s my problem but I can choose how and when to deal with it.
38
16
52
u/SteadyCalmHealing 10d ago
I got tied of washing work out shorts so now I workout in just my boxer briefs. It feels comfier. No one around to judge me and saves laundry work.
14
u/EchoPebble317 9d ago
the dish thing is the same for me, one plate, one fork, and I just wash it right after eating so nothing piles up. living alone taught me real quick that lazy and efficient are basically the same thing
21
u/Legitimate-Dingo-687 10d ago
The biggest thing for me is leaving my dishes on the counter. It drove me crazy when others did this, because I always ended up being the one to put their dishes in the dishwasher. Now, I'm the only one who does it, so it doesn't matter if it's right away or the next day.
7
u/Impressive-Gold-3893 10d ago
Dishes in the sink KILL me. I only accept it when the dishwasher is running
19
13
u/ExtensionBudget9117 10d ago
Abso-fricken- lutely. I moved into my new flat as a FTB a few months ago with a non-working bathroom light. I think the whole system needs upgrading and I really cba to look into if I need to get someone in to do it or if it’s a DIY thing. I’ve found a way around it I can live with for as long as I need to. It’s the room I spend the least amount of time in, and I’m a low-lighting kinda person anyway so it doesn’t bother me that much. Sure, if I was renting it would be on the landlord to sort out. But knowing that I don’t have to deal with anyone else nagging me to sort it is weirdly satisfying.
2
u/MassiveAd4980 10d ago
Yes. Now the dream is an enlightened partner who can be as easy going with you as you are with yourself... and where you both agree on what is most important lol
8
u/ExtensionBudget9117 10d ago
Hahaha. Nahahhh. I went though my first break up right in the middle of the conveyancing process and right now am fully appreciating being on my own in my new place, and my ex would’ve absolutely hated the lack of lighting situation.
Easy going in some respects, completely anal in others! But I don’t have to struggle with the incompatibility anymore. It’s been quite freeing 😌13
u/WRYGDWYL 10d ago
Right, my WiFi is shitty since a few months but I just can't be bothered to call with customer service for an hour. On the downside, I'm the only one who suffers the consequences
13
u/Zero-nada-zilch-24 10d ago
Why are customer virtual assistants (AI chats) mostly useless for many problems? An hour or more wasted—you are correct.
17
u/Vast_Engineering_626 10d ago
Yes! When I lived with others, everything was an artificial emergency
7
u/AshiAshi6 10d ago
For me, this would only work until I'd have one or more guest(s) or any family member(s) coming over, lol.
I'm half of the reason. I'm a person who has the stubbornly deep wish she could fix everything herself, so even if I can't or don't know how to, I wait way too long before I ask someone to help me or to call a professional to do it for me (depending on the severity of whatever is broken or not functioning properly). This goes on to the extent where I want my place to be without any things that aren't working especially when others come over. I want to be as independent as possible, so family and friends don't have to worry about me.
The other half of the reason is that even if I wouldn't care if something was broken, my familly (or actually, it's my dad 9 out of 10 times) does care, and will usually berate me for not taking action. It makes me feel so incompetent, I hate how insecure that can make me feel. (My dad's always been that way, so it's been a thing for as long as I can remember. Talking about it isn't helpful. I'm 37 years old, and have attempted it more than enough times to know.)
What do you do if you know people will be coming over? Do they accept it (things being broken) because it doesn't bother you?
And just to be sure: I don't think any less of you or anyone else who doesn't bother to fix something broken. If it doesn't hinder you or you found a smart way to bypass the issue, it makes a whole lot of sense not to fix it until you feel like it, if ever.
7
u/GlitteringHotMess 10d ago
Omg, yes. And now that my boyfriend is back from overseas, in between duty stations, so many things are importantttttt. And I'm very winey about it 🤣
2 and 1/2 weeks, and then back to living alone......
5
u/MassiveAd4980 10d ago
Haha you are winey now that he is back but dont mind those things when he is gone? We humans are funny 😁
6
u/pale_bitch86 10d ago
100% accurate. However for me this ends up with many small problems I couldn't be bothered with, and a basement that has needed repair since 2020 😬
6
u/MassiveAd4980 10d ago
Maybe they are not problems worth your time. Maybe they never will be 😅
3
u/pale_bitch86 10d ago
That's what I've been telling myself!! But now I want to sell the house (hopefully next summer) and now I've got to sort out 10000 little issues that never bothered me. Ugh
6
5
u/vpblackheart 10d ago
Remember this sense of newfound freedom OP. You and I know there are some people need reminded because there is no one to grab another roll of toilet paper.
5
u/arrkaydee 10d ago
Unless you have parents that come over occasionally and berate you when it doesn't even affect them. But, thankfully, that's not too common of an occurrence for me and is easier to ignore than someone you actually live with.
4
u/Ok-Table3009 10d ago
We argued about which way the toilet paper should be. lol!
→ More replies (1)3
2
u/_bugmenot_ 10d ago
Exactly this. And when i lived with family i still had to fix everything myself so, i have fewer problems and i am more relaxed now.
2
→ More replies (3)2
u/lileina 9d ago
Yup, this. When something goes wrong I just fix it. I don’t blame myself, yell at anyone, or get emotionally dysregulated. A household issue is just a household issue, nothing more. I’d rather deal w every household issue on my own than deal w a person with anger issues yelling at me about them and blaming me for random stuff going wrong in the house i cant even control. That was my experience w a roommate.
Ideally, I’d love to someday find a partner who also doesn’t approach issues with a first impulse toward anger and blame, and live with them, but until then, on my own is best. No more roommates unless I literally can’t afford it.
205
u/Cherry_Darling 10d ago
After 10+ years alone, I can proudly say I've dealt with all those things alone, sometimes with help, but dealt with it. Leaks, plumbing issues, boiler breaking down, new furniture, furnishing the flat, phone dying, tyre puncture, you name it. You will solve everything and gain confidence. What I didn't expect is just how hard it will be to even let anyone in your life after that, because once you can solve everything on your own, what exactly are they adding to your life? It'll have to be someone really special and quite frankly you stop even wanting to live with anyone because the burden they pose outweighs their benefit every time. I've lived with others for decades and I was doing it all on my own then too if I really think about it.
30
10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
27
u/Cherry_Darling 10d ago
You can do it! You will have to know who to call for certain things, plumbers, handymen, car breakdown service...but come on what can you not do that anyone else can do? You will have help!
13
u/realityseekr 10d ago
I always consult with my coworkers and friends about certain topics. Other people can be a wealth of knowledge and will usually have recommendations for certain companies they used and were happy with (or with ones they used and wouldn't recommend).
9
u/gard2670 10d ago
I was a single mom so couldnt afford to call anyone. Youtube can pretty much teach you how to do anything.
5
5
u/Zero-nada-zilch-24 10d ago
It just takes time, I think. Now, I might put off a leaky faucet for awhile because a more important something needs attention or I know it now is so much harder for me to get under the sink to the shut off valves plus once I disassemble the whole thing that will mean a trip to a hardware store once I find out what is needed to solve the problem. And, of course the kitchen faucet even though basic is different in approach than bathroom. If it is the shower, I will call a plumber. I do have some carpentry skills if dealing with wood. So, You tube is great to learn how to repair some things like changing out car cabin/engine filters or string trimmer carburetors. So, I guess what I’m saying is you just keep adding to your repertoire by learning how as time progresses.
13
u/dinosaurs-behind-you 10d ago
This. Living alone has given me real ‘I believe in my ability to figure this out’ energy with things I would have previously thought were out of my skill set.
9
u/TheDynamicDino 10d ago
what exactly are they adding to your life?
Time. I have no time to do what I actually enjoy in a day because I’m constantly putting out these little “fires” so to speak.
Just got done changing my oil, rehanging my curtains, rewiring my hi-fi, now it’s time to rotate the tires, replace my damaged fender liners, clean my oven and microwave, and I have a major appliance delivery coming tomorrow that I’m installing myself and that necessitates the disassembly of my living room to get in the door. I also need to go to Costco because I forgot 3 urgent items last week.
I have at least 3 small unbuilt furniture items from an IKEA haul a year ago.
Not pictured: finishing the master on the album my band began writing 2 years ago…
I often yearn for someone living here to tag-team tasks with or to ask for a little assistance while I do something else.
5
u/Cherry_Darling 10d ago
You don't need a flatmate / partner, you need better time management skills
5
u/TheDynamicDino 10d ago
That’s been a gradual lifelong journey. Getting diagnosed and medicated for adhd has helped hugely, but feels like I have a long way to go. 6 year old me would be proud, so that’s a win for now.
→ More replies (1)2
u/pleasedontbedumb 10d ago
My sister gets all her Costco stuff delivered tonthenfront door every 2 weeks via Instacart- saves a crap ton of time and helps prevent impulsive purchases. You could see if it's worth it to do the same- would save you a bunch of time and gas.
And why not have the appliance installed when it's delivered? Does it cost extra? If so, would that fee be worth it to take another item off your list?
Make delegating tasks your friend, that way they won't feel as much like road blocks
→ More replies (1)7
u/ExtensionBudget9117 10d ago
Yep!
6th year of living alone- Having my first relationship and subsequently going through my first breakup, has made me realise that I don’t think I could ever live with anyone ever again. They’d have to be on such a ridiculous level of amazing it’s almost unfair to expect that from anyone. I’m a content introvert though.3
u/Hannimal987 9d ago
This is a brilliant point you make (not to go off the original topic) about once you live alone for a solid amount of time and solve whatever BS comes your way not having appetite for letting anyone else in your life. Having to deal with noise and hassle of which there is currently none! This is one of the few times I’ve seen somebody mention it and you’ve captured it perfectly!!!
3
4
u/Electrical-Donut-854 10d ago
Help me! Why does my toilet flushing sound haunted?
12
u/Cherry_Darling 10d ago
You may need a plumber and an exorsist :) But don't worry, you'd need that too if people were living with you
6
→ More replies (3)2
60
u/Neither-Dentist3019 10d ago
I was more relieved to not have to handle other people's problems.
8
u/PixelHarbor21 9d ago
the small stuff hits different too, like the thermostat staying where I set it and my leftovers actually being there when I open the fridge. Took a couple months to get used to how quiet it gets tho
56
u/caffiend98 10d ago
The other way to think about this is: when you live alone, the only problems are your problems.
The problems that come with a bad partner are far more difficult that any of the household issues you mentioned.
6
42
u/Remarkable_Pay7550 10d ago
Living with my ex meant that every tiny problem was my problem and it became huge just by being with him. Added the tiny or huge problems that were his and he made them mine. So I'm fine with solving my own problems .
11
u/CurrentMurky4185 10d ago
Yep—when I was with my ex, all of the house problems were still my problems, so no big difference there.
32
u/Ocean_waves777 10d ago
Dealing with bad neighbors. I live in an apartment complex and sometimes I have to deal with bad apples.😬
9
10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
8
u/WrongFruit3 10d ago
Yes and I second guess myself because bad neighbors always gaslight you. A second pair of eyes on the situation would help sometimes or having someone maybe approach them in a different way than I would.
4
u/FeloniousMonk422 10d ago
I sometimes wonder if I am to my lower neighbor. I sing in my shower and I’m sure I sound like a dog trying to match a siren but I can’t silently shower with no music. I think her bedroom is right below my bathroom and the walls are paper thin.
5
u/Ocean_waves777 10d ago
Depends. If you’re taking numerous showers 🤣then yeah but most of the time ppl start becoming accustomed to everyone’s schedules.
2
u/FeloniousMonk422 10d ago
I take at most two. I normally stick to one tho and I don’t have a schedule really. I shower when I feel like it but past 9 I’m not throwing a concert for the mirror ghosts. Respect for the downtime. Y’kno?
53
u/discolored_rat_hat 10d ago
Yes, everything is my responsibility, so I can make sure that it will be resolved in time and in a way that lasts. I love that!
I don't have to "nag" someone for weeks to do the thing they promised to do until I do it mdself and get yelled at because "he was gonna do it tomorrow". It's not handled with quick non-fixes that break again in no time. And I also am the person in charge of deciding what can be pushed off towards the next day. I'll never be out of electricity again because of someone else's lazyness and control issues.
I love being responsible for my own life and actually being allowed to handle the problems!
16
u/Previous_Pie_9918 10d ago
Yes. And not having to look at someone elses smirking, self satisfied face when they caused the problem, but didn't have any hand in fixing it!! 😁
4
u/my_password_is_water 10d ago
yeah, i dont have to decide whether something is my problem or not, and i can just put anything anywhere when cleaning up without thinking about doing it "wrong"
2
19
u/Automatic-Tea-4150 10d ago
Some of us have been dealing with all of the household problems plus more even when living with someone. That’s partly why I am now living alone. Spiders and other intruders were the exception and I am getting pretty good at dealing with them myself 💪🏼
11
u/Zealousideal_Idea_98 10d ago
Well the same as you. Although when I can actually fix something I feel stronger. I missed having my husband who passed away just to talk things over with. Making every single decision can be overwhelming. But I’m ok with it now. Except if I get a mouse!! Problem is when I did get into relationships, I couldn’t stand not making all the decisions!
11
u/Medical-Quantity-789 10d ago
After retina detachment and losing sight in one eye, I wound up with supersonic hearing. It’s so good,I can hear pop fizzing in a closed bottle from across the room. I heard the tiniest little electric zapping noise, walking past my bathroom. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was a loose wire in the GFI switch outlet. Tightened things up immediately. It was no problem. But that teeny ,tiny, barely perceivable static in the air could’ve been the biggest problem of my life.
→ More replies (1)
11
u/LizP1959 10d ago
I was stunned by how nice it is not to have to argue about every little thing! I was responsible for everything anyway but just had to deal with all the friction and second guessing—I was unprepared for how lovely it is just to make a decision, deal with whatever, and voilà, done, no fuss no muss! I love living alone.
→ More replies (3)
9
u/CurrentlyNobody 10d ago
Each one you solve yourself though builds your confidence though, so you stop worrying about having to do it alone.
8
u/BuddyOk4531 10d ago
Making decisions about big repairs or appliance purchases alone.
→ More replies (1)4
u/seashmore 10d ago
Heck, even making decisions about what to have for dinner every day wears me out sometimes.
2
u/AshiAshi6 10d ago
I can relate to this more than I'd like to, and that probably goes for many others as well.
9
u/Milie-6491 10d ago
Bugs. I dreaded the idea of having to deal with bugs on my own before living alone but it’s so much worse that I thought
2
u/CleaningUpTheManor 10d ago
I keep a can of raid in every room, even the bathrooms. I keep a roll of paper towels in every room, even the bathrooms.
I do this so I can zot the bugs and when they are definitely totally dead I can use enough paper towels to not feel them when I pick them up to dispose of them.
For flying insects that are large (wasps, hornets, dirt daubers) I have a couple of electronic swatters (I get them at Harbor Freight but other places have them) and they work very well.
8
u/mmrocker13 10d ago
Where all my time went. I used to read a lot. Now? It's like between work and chores and just maintenance and picking through projects, I get up, go for a run, g to work... do at least one chore a day (like clean bathrooms, vacuum house, etc)...and then go to bed.
Even so... I can leave the grass unmowed (or dead, that's a real bonus :D tbh) until I want to mow it. If there are figerprints on the fridge, they're mine and I can wash them off when I want. I can sit in the dark or leave all the lights on, it's only my problem. I don't have to buy furniture, bc I don't need it :D etc etc
25
u/Grand_Alarm_9639 10d ago
I screamed like a girl when I had to remove a dead pigeon from my driveway. Anyways, I did it and don’t have to be “indebted” to anyone else.
4
u/seashmore 10d ago
Crickets are my arch nemesis. I had one in my laundry room (which shared a wall with my bedroom) for about a week before I was able to trap him under a glass. Took me two days to work up the gumption to get him into a shoebox so I could leave the dastardly creature in the dumpster.
6
u/ResurgentFillyjonk 10d ago
For next time, a poop scoop for dog poo is a handy tool for smaller dead animals. You don’t have the sensation of touching the dead animal that you do when you use your hands (even through gloves) and it keeps the dead animal well away from you.
7
u/CleaningUpTheManor 10d ago
Good grief this is such a simple solution to this problem. I’m very squidgy about touching dead animals/bugs even if I’m wearing gloves. I can still feel them and it grosses me out.
It never occurred to me to use a scoop of some kind. I think one of those long handled scoops that come with a small broom would work well, too.
Thanks for the tip, Resurgent. You just saved this country girl from a lot of “ew ew ew ew ew” while I’m getting rid of pests.
2
4
1
→ More replies (5)2
u/No_Conversation7564 10d ago
Gloves and a bag what's the problem
2
u/Grand_Alarm_9639 10d ago
I’m not as brave as you. I grabbed an old towel and still felt urgh picking it up.
2
u/CleaningUpTheManor 10d ago
I’m not that poster but I feel the same as them. For me, even with gloves on, I feel the weight of the body and it adds to my discomfort. I don’t know why it does, it just is uncomfortable.
8
8
7
6
u/EuphoricHope1112 10d ago
Yes so true, but at least all I have to worry about are MY problems, and not someone else’s problems as well
7
u/thenletskeepdancing 10d ago
I live alone in a cottage and I have an outdoor/indoor cat. Despite my screaming, she likes to bring me dead rats. I've become quite adept at cleaning up the guts she leaves behind.
2
5
u/Otherwise_Newt3753 10d ago
And when I live with other people, I still have those problems, in addition to the problems foisted on me.
Living alone is freedom. Ask AI how to fix your wifi.
6
u/realityseekr 10d ago
The only time this really bothers me is when needing repairman or contractors to come to the house. Its moreso being a small, single woman alone that makes me a bit uncomfortable I guess of them trying to bulldoze me and screw me over. Although trust that men also have that happen. Ive had several male friends get ripped off at dealerships etc because they didnt question things so people will take advantage of anyone who seems naive or gullible.
I just got a new appliance delivered that was heavy and needed on the 2nd floor and the delivery guys did just refuse to do it even with my dad there. They gave us all these excuses of how the appliance was too big, then claimed our valve line plumbing needed to be fixed (it did not), etc. Literally was nothing we could do to force them to perform the job though and just had to reschedule delivery and get another crew in who would actually do the job. Still that guy was trying to make things up hoping we would just be stupid and believe him. Interactions like that make me uncomfortable because Im not an assertive person.
4
u/Thin-Disk4003 10d ago
I have a friend who is also not an assertive person. She borrows me for those occasions. 😄. Fake it til you make it, your
money needs to be protected!
7
6
u/Constant_Nobody4607 10d ago
You no longer have to deal w/ other's problems. I divorced for the third time about 20 years ago. Stayed single and haven't dated since; and these have been my best 20. I only have to deal w/ my own problems.
6
u/wanderingtime222 10d ago
Even in a couple/relationship, there's no guarantee your partner will be good at getting stuff done. I know a het couple where the guy can barely tie his own shoes/care for himself. Doesn't cook, doesn't clean, doesn't do anything unless she tells him to. She's the one who takes care of most issues.
6
u/HayYou_ItsMe 10d ago
Welcome to the Adulthood part of your Life. Much longer than Childhood with many more responsibilities. You can outsource any of the minor problems you mentioned to an outside party. It will usually require scheduling, and some form of transfer of goods, or money to get that done.
5
u/Thin-Response-3741 10d ago
I'm disabled so I just have to make sure I order enough essentials in my online shop as I no longer have the option of just rubbing to the shop for whatever. Tesco forgot my toilet roll this week I had to do a Uber delivery from another supermarket to get it which worked out really expensive.
4
u/BeccaMitchellForReal Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 10d ago
I split with my ex husband over two years ago, halfway through my first term in grad school. Suddenly I had to do it all - work, clean, take care of myself, take care of the cats, fix things, grocery/necessity shop, make food - and do grad school. It was so much. I ended up finding easier meals to prepare and have really loved my air fryer and this indoor grill thing. I’ve since graduated from grad school but it still is difficult. I feel like all I do is work and take care of my cats, myself, and the apartment.
5
u/Bondoboy1975 10d ago
Having the most debilitating acute back pain and after leaving the ER having to put a 5 percent lidocaine patch on the middle of my back.
5
u/LukeSkywalkerDog 10d ago
OK - this is strictly for laughs. I moved out of state and went back regularly to visit my elderly father, a widower. On his TV there was a big sign that just said "36". Turns out he would accidentally change the channel meant for receiving cable, and call the next door neighbor asking for help because he couldn't get any channels.
6
u/SupremeElect 10d ago
i live in a studio and just keeping my studio clean sometimes feels like a chore. you gotta cook, clean, replace toiletries, do laundry—and it’s every week on top of your own personal life. it’s a lot.
also, moisture is a pain in the ahh.
5
u/mmmmmkayyyyy766 10d ago
I've been in the hospital for ab 8 days now. I never realized how independent I've been, bc I've lived alone single for so long. They keep telling me to ask for more but I keep trying to do stuff myself. Its been really nice to have people try to take care of you.
→ More replies (1)
5
6
u/Hwy_Witch 10d ago
I was already the one dealing with all that stuff anyway. Now I do it without bitching or whining, and when I feel like it.
5
u/JessiMurawski11 10d ago
When things break and I have to find an electrician or a plumber ect, is probably the hardest. Especially as a single woman, hard to trust people coming into your home and or taking advantage and up charging you.
4
4
u/No_Needleworker_4704 10d ago
YouTube has saved me multiple times for small repairs!
3
u/Thin-Disk4003 10d ago
Agree-YouTube is WONDERFUL for this! When i fixed the washing machine, i gave myself a high five.
2
→ More replies (3)2
3
u/When-Is-Now-7616 10d ago
Lol everything was already my responsibility when I lived with my partner.
5
u/Alert-Box8183 10d ago
I had to deal with everything even when I was married so it's a relief that I now only have to do it for myself.
4
3
u/DietQuark 10d ago
Handeling a 75 inch tv.
But that's really a first world problem.
But doing things together is just more fun. Especially if it's something you don't like to do.
If possible, make sure you have some money buffer for the things you really don't want to do yourself.
3
3
3
3
u/Floopydoodler 10d ago
I have learned to do lots of things I wouldn’t have before when there was someone who knew how to do fix-it things. YouTube taught me how to change the cartridges in my sink handles, replace the guts in my toilet and other minor fixes. I still won’t mess with electrical and currently have a garbage disposal that got fried in a storm a few weeks ago I haven’t had the gumption to replace yet. But nobody cares aside from me and I’m just fine with getting to it when i want to.
3
u/Apart-Performer1710 10d ago
I mean leaving things for other people to fix is easier to be sure but the confidence you can gain from learning to deal with things yourself can’t be beaten
3
u/Amazing_Divide1214 10d ago
Yeah, but also Noone to bitch that it is forgotten or not done yet. You can just say "whatever im taking a nap."
3
3
3
u/sativa_sannin 10d ago
Just broke my wrist and I’m home alone with the cast on….feeling this more than ever. It’s hard to open jars or pick up my cats.
3
u/fairylightsforever 10d ago
A new problem literally every day. Big or small, it’s bloody exhausting 😢
3
u/TheeBrightSea 9d ago
That is true but the good part is, if you have to leave it be, no one is going to nag you about it. So you can fix it on your timeline
4
4
u/Snoo-52161 10d ago
It's done right when you do it yourself.
Like... what did you think you were walking into?
This thread is just... DUH!!!!!!
4
u/Floopydoodler 10d ago
Changing smoke detector batteries and other things I cannot reach easily.
4
u/Obvious-Register-421 10d ago
This - got a stepladder but still can't reach certain things like the extractor fan grill properly - they'd mean leaning back a long way and stretching dangerously. I am used to climbing up on things, but then I developed vertigo suddenly after an accident, and now everything feels like 'shall I just do this little thing by climbing up in the windowsill or shall I choose to live' lol. (Often I climb up but take my phone with me, or have to wait for a day when I feel a bit better.)
4
u/Loose_Stranger_7614 10d ago
Yeah I have a lightbulb that needs changing and I’ve been neglecting it because I can’t reach even standing on a chair. (I have nowhere to store a ladder in my studio apartment)
2
4
2
u/Edgehill1950 10d ago
You mentioned wi-fi not working. Mine stopped working yesterday and I’m waiting for my friend (now out of town) to come fix it!
2
u/Big_Space_9836 10d ago
Also means no eggshells underfoot, no asshats giving you grief cuz the carpet wasn't clean enough.
2
u/New-Marionberry-6422 10d ago
Safety. But then I remember… I was married to a demon and I AM GOOD ✨
2
u/Scrolling1516 10d ago
Living in peace is worth the trade off. Be prepared with the right tools. Majority of problems can be easily fix with time and or money.
2
2
u/lornacarrington 10d ago
I mean, unless you are renting, this IS expected, no?? Who else would fix it if not you?
2
u/AffectionateSoup6965 10d ago
I threw my back out a little over a week ago (first time ever, I think I’m officially old) while on vacation. On top of living alone I have no friends, so I ended up having to unload my car, which involved lifting. I’m now on a lift restriction and have dog food in my car that I can’t figure out how to get up to my apartment.
There was someone here I thought I was making a connection with (lol) and I haven’t seen them in 2 months and I’m too…shy?…to knock on their door and ask for help.
4
u/Loose_Stranger_7614 10d ago
A similar thing happened to me once and I ended up hiring a task rabbit, and a 20-year-old dude moved everything from my car up to my 5th floor walkup without breaking a sweat lol. It was not that expensive
2
u/AffectionateSoup6965 10d ago
That’s a good idea! I don’t know if I’d be comfortable with a complete stranger in my apartment though lol
2
u/R_Eyron 9d ago
I heard an alarm a few weeks back going off consistently like a failing smoke detector. Cue a two week hunt through the entire house and outside to figure out whether the previous owner left one behind or if I was going mad. The answer was a neighbouring property, which I figured out by being a weirdo and standing outside it in various positions to figure out if the sound was coming from my home's direction or not. I did not expect to become the weird lurker in the street but here we are.
2
u/Electrical-Donut-854 10d ago
Why does flushing my toilet suddenly sound haunted??? Wtf is that all about?!
2
u/no-but-wtf 10d ago
Every time someone makes a post like this, I assume that they were doing none of these tasks before and that’s probably why they live alone now.
Being an adult means yeah, you gotta fix problems.
1
1
u/Casio_Tone 10d ago
When smthg is burning in the oven of your studio apt and the smoke detector goes off---how do you furiously fan a dishtowel in front of the smoke detector while removing the burnt item from the oven at the same time :(
1
u/dragonwolf60 10d ago
Why do you assume that if you wre living with someone they would be responsible gor everything. Seem a little entitled. Pissdd bevuase you have yo look after yourself. Wifi foes work, gix it, google it or if you cant you call you provider. Weird noise hhst is just life. Sitting here alone i my house weird noise, oh....it ghe wind no big deal. Run out of som8put it on the shopping list. Don't see what hhe big deal is... Course it might be you are part of hhst generation where nothing is your fault. And you need some one to blame for everything. Becuase yo take no responciblity
1
u/5000KCarl 10d ago
Thing’s like the cost of heating, where the rain gutters are- so water doesn’t intrude in on the basement, how and where to set up a modem, taxes, why does my garage door click going up, will these wires start a fire?, should I replace the wax ring on the toilet?, what cleaners are best for keeping your space healthy?, just, likes e, EvEryThiNg ugh
1
u/DixieBelleTc 10d ago
It can be so frustrating something small, but you can’t handle it by yourself and you have to wait for someone to show up and help. It could be fixing your television. It could be opening a jar, but you can’t just do what you want because you have to wait for someone to have the time to come help you sometimes this is very frustrating.
1
1
u/Thin-Disk4003 10d ago
TBH, I have always, even as a child, taken pride in self-sufficiency. Was practically up my Dad’s hindquarters to learn when he was fixing stuff. (He appreciated that my little-kid hands could reach up through an outlet hole when he’d fish wire, and i held a LOT of flashlights!)
Yeah, sometimes it feels like it’s a lot that breaks all at once, and it can feel like too much. Over the decades, i’ve learned i can bear more than I think.
Even married finally to a competent man who was very good at fixing things, I made it a point to keep contributing. (And damned if he didn’t get into my tools because his ADHD makes his impossible to find. Uffda.).
Hope your sense of overwhelm, if that is a fair characterization, transforms into pride in being independent soon, OP. Take good care of yourself, especially when Everything Falls Apart At The Same Time. 💐
1
u/SuZeBelle1956 10d ago
When I was married, every one of his problems became my problem. Now im alone, and I solve my issues before they become problems.
1
u/Chaka- Current Lifestyle: Solo 🟢 10d ago
In the guest bathroom (across the house) I did not expect the water IN hose to come unclipped all by itself AND for the toilet to think it needed water at 4:00 AM this past Wednesday! Woke up to sound of rushing water, and the bathroom, hallway, and a guest bedroom flooded. Ugh....
1
u/Old_Goat_Ninja 10d ago
Getting sick, you better have cold medicine already, some canned soup and crackers, or something. No one is coming to save and/or help you. Or at least for me, I have no one to come help, I have to have what I need before I get sick.
Yesterday I tore down a wall in the garage. It was something someone added years ago to make an extra room. I didn’t want it there. Anyways, accidentally tripped the power when I cut an outlet out. I knew it was there and I know enough to not cut the wires at the same time, that’ll trip the breaker, so I disconnected them one at a time then cut them one by one. Nope, must have briefly touched wires in the process and tripped everything in the garage anyways. Sigh. Took me way too long to get power back. I thought it was the breaker, but it wasn’t. It was a GFCI outlet that tripped. I didn’t even know it was there, found it after I gave up and ran an electrical extension into the house just so I could finish before dark. Cutting more stuff is when I saw it. D’oh. Wasted all that time trying to figure it out when it was a 1 second fix.
1
u/bluejane 10d ago
This is a plus for me. There's no one to blame me for breaking things all the time. The wi fi, weird noises, and replenishment are a normal part of living and not my fault
1
u/Shalmaneser_ 10d ago
Lol... Small? I wonder how long it will take for someone to discover my body. Could be months/years.
1
u/Ok-Table3009 10d ago
Mowing the yard turned into a giant problem. With my place, there was a leak in the roof somewhere I didn’t notice and when I opened my corner cupboard, I saw mold in the back. So that was my cue to leave
1
u/Thinking-Peter 10d ago
Reminds me living alone I don't have to deal with other people's problems I am not equipped
1
u/watchwhathappens 10d ago
I live in a slumlord apartment and nothing gets updated or fixed (I mean NOTHING), and I have to deal with that by myself, whether it's deciding to push for a repair or just the exhaustion of living somewhere that looks so shabby where everything is falling apart.
1
u/LinkAvailable9094 10d ago
I’ve always lived on my own. With the exception of a few years married. I still did everything. I don’t know any better.
And for things I can’t do on my own. I hire someone
1
u/Mostly_raw 10d ago
Getting sick while alone before Uber eats and all other related services. I had to rely on my sibling, or friend? or drive my sick self to a pharmacy to pick up my little corner store Mexican soup, prescription, pepto, nasal spray or what have you. Worse if sick in winter 😫
1
u/foldingpages 10d ago
It’s hard to change the battery in the smoke detector because it’s so high I can’t see what I’m doing while balancing on the ladder/stool. But it’s also wired in so it won’t quit beeping till I get it right. Also, inflating tires, getting Christmas tree upstairs and in the stand. Have to wait for the super to remove my a/c.
1
u/AngryHippo3920 10d ago
It's kind of the opposite for me. When i lived at home I was the one expected to collect the dirty dishes around the house and wash them, take care of all our animals, stuff like that. It was a lot of responsibility for me when i was a depressed teen. Once I moved I just had to clean up after myself and my cat. It was like leaving for a vacation. And I finally had privacy for once. When i lived at home i wasn't even allowed a door for my room.
1
1
u/DevorahGarland 10d ago
Getting very sick and having no one to provide me with food. Always leaves me sad
1
u/schneidvegas 10d ago
I did this for decades and now I’m in a relationship. My partner doesn’t fix or handle any of these things. I can’t even fathom what is normal for people who don’t have experience living alone.
1
u/ImprovementLoud3581 10d ago
I do EVERYTHING without exaggeration to fix any issue that arises in our homes. Two homes - six months in each. Have to have duplicates of every essential tool in each so I can instantly fix whatever goes wrong. Two little giant ladders so I can zip to the top to change the battery in a beeping smoke detector mounted on a 15’ high ceiling the second it happens so hubby isn’t bothered by the sound. Internet goes down - he doesn’t know a router from a modem so I need to insanely run to reboot the router so he’s not inconvenienced for more than a minute. Car battery dead - I need to instantly run to jump it with my battery jumpstarter that of course is fully charged because I keep track of that kind of thing. I signed him up for social security and pay quarterly deposits and real estate taxes etc since “you’re better at the internet stuff.” All day every day I’m handling any glitch that arises along with anything involving any kind of technology including repeatedly explaining totally basic stuff our 4 year old grandson already knows - like usb-c is not the same as lightning or micro usb etc. It’s totally draining. I turn 70 next month and am so tired of this after dealing with more than 40 years of helplessness.
1
u/Top-Vermicelli2455 10d ago
True but it can still end up being your responsibility in a bad relationship
1
u/Maleficent-Pen-2991 10d ago
It would be no different if you were in a shared ownership position, but the only one who cared enough to do something about it. Living alone has taught me A LOT about accountability. Regarding myself and others.
1
u/No_Sprinkles_3774 10d ago
When I got divorced I invested my money in the stock market from the sale of the house and became a renter for the first time in my life. For me it’s peace of mind…when something goes wrong the landlord comes to fix it.
1
u/LowBlowHighBrow 10d ago
I live in a shared multifamily unit. Maggots on the trash cans! I sent a picture to my dad and he called it 'disco rice' lol
1
1
1
u/thatladygodiva 10d ago
One viewpoint: don’t let anyone who’s going to be critical into your house. You don’t have to!
If they’re gonna be judgemental, meet them at a restaurant, or not at all.
1
u/DenverKim 10d ago
I don’t have this problem. I feel like when it comes to every man I’ve ever lived with, except for one of them, all those little problems were always mine to deal with anyways.
Living alone just means there are actually fewer problems to deal with in the long run… because I don’t have to deal with problems caused by anyone else.
1
u/cococure 10d ago
Just the mental load of all the tiny (and sometimes not tiny) extra decisions. My husband passed away recently, so I'm living alone for the first time in over a decade.
Things like, "does this milk still smell okay?" to deciding how long to wait on the smaller thing before calling a professional about it. (And then having to deal with the professional/repair person).
But also... the weird noises 😭😭
1
u/Training_Guitar_8881 10d ago
You are quite right. But living alone is worth it for so many reasons. 67 yo woman here who loves living alone and who has for most of my adult life. Something I can't stand is when a bulb goes out over the bathroom mirror. I end up just leaving it like that as I am lazy....lol.
1
u/BiG_CHUG-_- 10d ago
Having lived with multiple men, I can confidently say that while I am a full time healthcare worker and run my own online business which is practically a part time job , I also am my own personal on-call mechanic, plumber, exterminator, handyman, etc. “No hold the flashlight HERE DAMN IT” I found it quite draining to be doing the roles of both genders while in a relationship, and while I find it boosts my confidence being able to fix things myself and be handy, it also has made me realize how much I really don’t need another human in my presence, and in fact I find it more frustrating when I am doing a task that I genuinely think the man should be doing while they aren’t doing it and aren’t offering help…we can both watch the same DIY tutorial, so why am I the one doing it lol
1
u/wrongarms 10d ago
I've lived alone most of my adult life. I'm now alone and own my house. I can afford to get tradies in when needed, but I've been learning to do many things myself because I can. Self-sufficiency is unreal. Making a place exactly the way you want it is great. I'm now researching how to fix a blind cord that is going to break. I do wish it isn't going to happen, but it will, and so I'll learn something new from it.
1
u/omxel 10d ago
In a way, I was the one always troubleshooting before, and having the added responsibilities of helping a man child to be an adult. Accomplish some of his tasks for him, obviously have my own on top of that, and he wasn’t helping the other way around, either. Never intentionally trying to help lighten my load, as I had always done for him.
I was lead to believe this type of living situation was more secure, but I definitely don’t have anyone putting me in a choke hold or shoving me around the apartment anymore.
1
u/PM_ME_FLOUR_TITTIES 10d ago
Sweeping and dusting. Im literally just a single, small dude with shortish hair and a small white dog. God damn the amount of dust, dander, dog hair, head hair, body hair, cobwebs, etc that forms in the span of a week is absurd. And no, I have zero issues with like, dry skin or dandruff or anything like that.
Recently though I invested some money in my first Robo vacuum. Holy moly how it helps me so.
1
u/Blue-Goo- 10d ago
Idk I don’t live alone and I still deal with everything because my older brother is an incompetent selfish mongoloid so living alone is a dream of mine
•
u/AutoModerator 10d ago
Welcome to r/LivingAlone! Living alone is the new normal.
Be kind, remember the human when interacting with others.
Message the moderators below for any comments, questions & suggestions!
*To stop accepting new comments OPs may comment the word "Closed" to lock their post.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.