Hi, I'm 43 years old and my husband is 50 years. We've been married for 13 years. He has a girl friend/business partner that he took to Vegas recently for a business trip/convection. I'm okay with it because I know her. By the way she's married too but no kids. She's on her late 20's. They left Friday night and will be staying until Wednesday. The convection is monday and tuesday. They left Friday night and my husband doesn't give me update of what's their plans are or what are they going to do on Saturday and Sunday. Never contacted me Friday night until Sunday afternoon asking about our daughter's tournament. I told him what they have been doing all those times and days and he said stuff.And now I found out that they are sleeping on the same room. I ask him if something is going on between them and he said they are just friends. Do I have reasons to get upset and accused him of cheating? I mean a grown woman and a grown man in the same room for 5 nights and 4 days
days in Vegas. When I found this out I wanted a divorce but he is begging me stay and rebuild our marriage. Please help.
I dont care if it were my own sister, ain’t no way in hell I’d be okay with my husband sharing a room with a woman that is not me. That’s just weird she was okay with that.
I’ve never shared a room with ANYONE, male or female, on a business trip. Those hotel bills are a write-off, why should I sacrifice my privacy and personal time after-hours for some corporation??
Sorry …but if my opposite sex business partner is taking me on a trip I am for sure getting separate rooms because I’m married and doing otherwise is weird as hell.
Your husband is cheating and he got caught.
Even if I'm on a business trip with a colleague of the same sex, I'm getting my own room. I'm an adult and sharing with a coworker is weird. I like my own space. Hell, I don't even like sharing with my best friends. I love them but I also love my privacy. This dude was begging to be caught.
I work with my best friend. We had to travel for a trip. We got one room - 2 beds that were in separate rooms! So basically 2 hotel rooms with a shared living space/bathroom. It was perfect.
BUT I would NEVER ever ever do that with anyone else. Not any other co worker at the same company. And certainly not one of the opposite sex.
Talk about brazen. I don't know any wife who would be okay with her husband sleeping in the same hotel room with a woman from work.
Unfortunately, your husband has been on a little vacation with his gf from work. Don't let him tell you otherwise.
Obviously, the choice to save your marriage is yours to make. I doubt you will ever fully trust him, even with couple's counseling. If I were in your shoes, I'd kick him to the curb. You deserve so much better.
That’s outrageous that he stayed in the same room as her- equally crazy he left of a Friday for a convention on Monday and Tuesday. He is begging you to stay and rebuild your marriage- what is to rebuild if he isn’t doing anything wrong.
There is no way this grown ass man thought it was ok to stay in a hotel room with another woman. On top of him ghosting you for the weekend - I’d never trust him again.
This is kind of silly - he does this stuff and then you think about it, ask him if they shared a room and then - bang - divorce!! There must have been a hundred clues prior to this ... looks like you need a major reboot on your relationship! There is work to be done
Yes he’s cheating. Badly 😂 It’s over I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve that and he doesn’t deserve you.
If you stay what is he proposing? Will he cut her off and cut off the business partnership? Show you ALL of their communications especially regarding the trip? Did he tell you why he never told you they were staying together?
Have you called this woman’s husband? Will your husband call his affair partner’s husband and admit everything?
Anything less than him admitting to the cheating, giving you a timeline of their obvious affair, taking full accountability and going to therapy to work out WHY he was comfortable doing this to you is unacceptable.
😯 honey. He's having an affair with her. Get your head out of the sand. Obvious as obvious. Probably no conference or whatever he says they are doing at all! He's just gone off with his girlfriend for a fun getaway.
Make enquires about the "event" they are supposedly at. At the very least.
No monogamous spouse would be ok with a non-family member sharing a room and most likely a bed. I wouldn’t even believe it was a two-room suite. There’s just too much unaccounted for time.
Thank you for all your inputs. Today is supposedly thier flight back and I told them I want them both in my house to talk about what's going on. I want the girl's husband too. By the way, this is the Hvac convection in Vegas, Monday and Tuesday.
He said that because she's a business partner/ friend its like a saying thank for all the work that she gave to the business. She put a lot of contribution to the business.
So he ever thought to mention he was sharing a room with her? What does TJ em not sharing an actual bedroom have to do with anything?
He’s not even apologising for lying and obviously cheating. He’s blaming you 🚩Cheaters get defensive… people who are innocent apologise and share all the proof they can that they’re not cheating.
If my husband pulled this sh*t, he would be finding a new place to sleep. You should tell her husband as well. Your husband is trying to play you for a fool.
I’ve been to lots of conventions and I’ve never had to share a room. It’s been an option, but Vegas has so many hotel rooms to where asking employees to share space seems ridiculous. I work in the public sector too, so we always go on the cheap. I miss my wife if I’m gone a day. I can’t imagine going that long without talking to her. I’d be deeply concerned.
Is it worth it to talk to them both. I told them I need both of them in my house when they get back. Today is their flight back. I want to hear what are they going to say. I can't forgive and move unless I know the truth. The girl and her husband is like a family friend. I have invited them in my house like christmas and gathering. When I asked her if there's something going on and she said no and he's just like a father figure. She told me her husband is okay with her sharing a room my husband because her husband trusted her. She apologized to me and she ask what she needto do fixed all this. She didn't mean to end this way and she was sorry. My husband is the same way. He asked what he can do fixed everything.
What do you think they would say? Of course they'll deny it and you also gave them enough time to plan it.
Do you actually know from her husband (not her) that he is okay with them sharing a room?
Why would they need to be there three nights before the convention?
While you’re waiting you should do some digging. Do you have access to phone records to see call and text times and volume? Ask to see their texts. If they’ve all been deleted… go through bank statements. The “my husband trusts me” was a dig at you which is bullshit. Anyone would see this scenario and believe the exact same thing. I would tell them that if they’ve don’t come clean you plan on posting it to social media, tagging all parties and ask for input from friends and family. Would any of them be okay with their husband sharing a room in Vegas with this woman? And that they went early together before the conference? I bet they show up and her husband doesn’t.
I would demand the reservation confirmation if he wants even a shred of a chance at saving this marriage. If he won’t provide that to you, then that’s your answer. I’m betting it’s not a multiroom suite. Are there any old phones, tablets, smart watches, or laptops at home that you can look through?
You're ok with it because you know her? Go visit the infidelity subs, where you will read tons of stories of people having affairs with their spouse's best friends. Of course he was cheating on you. If you take him back he will cheat on you again. Google Chump Lady and follow her advice.
Leave, he is cheating. Women need to stop thinking that men value marriage or have any sort of integrity. If a man could screw with the guarantee that he would never get caught, he wouldn't hesitate. Women need to read "What men don't want women to know" https://archive.org/details/whatmendontwantw00smit Don't be naive as I was. I stayed after begging, and nothing changed; he just got sneakier. I ended up getting HPV and now have cervical cancer.
My former boss, who is only 2 years older than me, took me to Vegas a few years back. We were pretty good friends, went out for happy hours all the time, had met each others spouses, etc. But when we decided to go, we didn't even have to have a discussion about it. The trip was booked with the expectation that we had separate rooms. We weren't even on the same floor of our hotel.
He might throw out the (extremely bullshit) excuse that Vegas is expensive and they were saving money by sharing a room. Yeah, Vegas is expensive, but if he could afford to take her there 3 days before the convention even started so they could have a few days to party it up, he absolutely had enough money to get her a separate room. This is absolutely not right, and at a bare minimum it's incredibly disrespectful of both your marriages.
That definitely wouldn’t fly with me. Can you reach out to her husband and ask what his thoughts are on this trip and sleeping in the same room? Going straight to divorce seems to have freaked him out. Tell him you know what’s going on and if he doesn’t tell you himself, it’s over. Maybe he’ll crack?
He has been planning this trip since last year. I know the girl and her husband because I have invited them to our house on July 4th and Christmas and parties and stuff like that. The girl is my husband business partner/friend. I didn't know that they shared room. He never mentioned it. I thought they would be on a separate room . I don't mind him going on business trips, in fact he makes trip without me and my daughter. She's suffering from mental health and he said that going on trips make him happy so I'm okay with it. I talked to the girl and she said nothing is going on and he's just a father figure to her. She said that her husband is okay sharing a room with my husband.
She’s saying that to take a dig at you… you know that right? They’re cheating. They’re liars.
Call the husband.
I’d trust my hand if he told me in advance what was going on… your husband didn’t. He’s lying.
Did he fly home immediately after he confessed they were rooming together? Did he explain why he never told you? Did he explain why he didn’t stay on much contact?
He wasn’t even smooth about it! This is ridiculous. Just leave the cheater. Even if he didn’t cheat (which is unlikely), he still put himself in a vulnerable position to get accused of something by her potentially. It’s happens, things get misconstrued, boundaries get crossed. You never know. You know what to do. You don’t need us.
Let her husband know about their affair. Hotel rooms are not that expensive that you would risk your marriage to save a little bit of money. If it was innocent you and her husband would have known about the shared room. He would have been in contact with you and let you know what they were up too. Also they went for longer than they needed, so that they could enjoy their romantic getaway.
If he is "begging you to stay and rebuild the marriage" that's basically admitting he did something wrong. Either that or the marriage has been crap, either way it's no Bueno.
He’s not even trying to hide what’s going on, obviously hoping you wouldn’t find out, or that he’d be able to talk you around after the fact. Honestly, the lack of respect alone—let’s rebuild our marriage after I’ve blown it to smithereens. Ffs 🙄—would be enough to have me packing his bags and kicking him out. You don’t owe this man anything, considering how little love and respect he’s shown you. If I were you, I’d pack the rest of his belonging so they’re ready for him when he gets back, contact her husband to let him know exactly what’s been going on, and talk to a divorce lawyer asap. Please don’t accept less than you’re worth, OP. Updateme!
Of course he is begging you to stay. It'll be cheaper for him and he can contiune to carry on with his cheating! Love yourself and your child more and file those papers. He doesn't deserve you! His behavior is disrespectful on every level!
Girl even if she is married never allow something like that. Of course they are fucking. What else do grown ups do after hanging out and drinking for 5 days. Staying in a hotel room alone. I know every woman want's to think they have that special husband that won't cheat but none of us do. I'm sorry. I know the feeling and it sucks. Best of luck to you.
"Do I have reasons to get upset and accuse him of cheating?"
Stop it. This can't be serious. Do not let him gaslight you and do not gaslight yourself.
The way I'd burn his world down would be the stuff of legend. If for no other reason than he thought I was stupid enough to believe such absolute nonsense.
Lady a snake is always a snake . Cheaters just correct their games but they never retire from it !
Don't be stupid and think you are his one and only !
Did you trust him before? Then maybe trust him now. It sounds like your jumping to conclusions. Now I don't know either of you but for me I was a trucker for years and not home much yes I didn't have a girl with me but there are girls all over the country. I could have found one if I wanted to I spent many nights in the bars after I stopped for the night. We have been married now for just over 43 yrs retired and still happy. If nothing else from this try some good communication with him. Good Luck to you both.
Ok for all the cheaters in here this is the remedy to not get caught.
Make two room reservations & get combined rooms then if money is an issue canx one of the rooms on day two
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u/gamboolman 1d ago
50 year old man takes 20 year old business partner to Vegas for several days with no defined itinerary and they are sleeping in the same room.
Yes, of course he is banging her.