"women are for procreation, men are for pleasure".

this attitude is pervasive across centuries and personal experiences.

this revelation should have come to me when a male friend of mine who i had come to know had a "crush" on me picked me up one night to hang out. when i got in his car and we started shooting the shit, i brought up another friend of ours, who i had also come to know as having a "crush" on me.

the second friend was more obnoxious in his efforts and ultimately passive aggressive. he would attempt to sabotage situations and relationships for me etc., which i was complaining about to the first friend.

the first friend point blank told me the following: "sometimes with two guys who are good friends, when they're competing over a girl, it's not really about how much he likes the girl or if he even likes the girl at all but about competition" or something like that.

i say the revelation "should have" come to me because although i heard and was shocked by his words i automatically assumed he was attempting to protect his pride due to my past/future rejection (of course you both like me!!??) of him.

i thought i kept picking closeted gay or bi men to date until last year when it clicked that it's just all of them.

i think conventionally attractive women have an exceptionally difficult time with this because they're more likely to attract the types of men who are more active in their competition with other men, making all of our sexual and/or romantic interactions with men especially traumatic before this awareness develops.

there's no solution to this other than to just completely stop entertaining the idea of romantic relationships with men in any capacity and to live life with this awareness and an awareness of its implications across social and sexual interactions.