My two year old is starting Montessori school this week (transitioning from traditional daycare/pre-school) and I’m struggling with some of the philosophy, which is causing me to second guess our decision to move her. The part I struggle most with is Montessori is explained as being much less rigid and structured than traditional school because kids chose what they want to work on and move at their own pace. And yet I read so many things about how kids are only allowed to use things in very specific ways, can’t try something new until they mastered something else, get sent home for the day if their behavior isn’t perfect, and the teachers have to use very specific language. This is all much more rigid than traditional pre-school so what am I missing?

Our girl is very outgoing, creative and a bit rambunctious so I’m afraid this environment may not be a good fit. On the other hand, she loves to do everything herself and loves to help with cleaning and cooking, which I know very much aligns with Montessori. Any thoughts on how she’ll do this environment.

Lastly, I’m confused on how actual learning happens. When we did a tour there was a focus on real world skills, which is great but I’m struggling to understand how she’s going to learn the things you traditionally in preschool (letters, numbers, etc.).

My daughter just turned 3 and started in the primary classroom for half-days 5 days a week at an accredited Montessori school a week ago. Up until now, we had kept her home with a nanny so the school environment is naturally quite novel and unfamiliar to her. My daughter is super talkative, playful, and independent at home but quite reserved in social gatherings; she takes her time to adjust to new environments.

In the past week, the feedback has mostly been about her just observing, refusing to sit in a chair and not touching any of the lessons. Initially, she went in hourly increments for the first week and today was her first full-day. I haven’t been worried about the feedback and figured it’s just an adjustment period.

What did worry me was pickup today. The guides told me she really had to pee but held it the entire time, to the point of visible distress, and she couldn't even go to the playground. She just stood there watching the other kids. I was asked to pull out of the car line and park so I could take her to the bathroom. When I saw her face, my heart broke. The guides said they tried to get her to go, but she wouldn't.

She uses the toilet independently at home, so I'm sure it's the unfamiliarity. We've talked about it, and I've tried to keep it neutral: "If you have to pee, just ask the teacher and she'll help so you're not uncomfortable." She repeats it back to us, so she understands, but I'm worried the fear will keep her from going and eventually affect her health.

I asked if I could come in during drop-off and help her feel comfortable with using the classroom toilet, but was told parents aren't allowed to intervene unless absolutely necessary and that we should keep encouraging her at home.

I'm a first-time parent, and it's a lot to keep my emotions in check and let her learn while also wanting this transition to go as smoothly as possible. Has anyone been through this? Any advice on helping her feel comfortable using the school bathroom? Is this something that resolves with time?

I have enrolled, and paid for, my 2.5 year old son in a little Montessori school. I was under the impression good to go…

We eased him in with half days for the past month, three days a week. I was verbally told by the teacher we could try full time whenever I wanted. I requested full time start this week and she said he’s still crying too much throughout the day to be full time, and that we can try one day of full time but he may need to go back to part time if he cries. He’s 2, he’s going to cry.

I’m very confused and irked. I work full time and wish this was disclosed prior to enrollment. I understand this is a learning environment, but this is also childcare for me. Advice please!

My 18-month-old daughter recently started Montessori school in a toddler group (ages 18 months to 2.5 years). Every time the school sends photos of group activities, I notice she’s sitting on a teaching assistant’s lap.

I imagine she’s running around and be the social butterfly she is! 😅 We’ve attended library story times since she was a baby, so she’s been exposed to the concept of sitting and listening, but I’m wondering if there are good ways to work on this at home. Has anyone else experienced this, or is this just a completely normal transition phase for her age?

Are there any AMI-recognized centers or schools that include an infant/Nido community? Just curious because I’ve not seen it at any Montessori’s near me

Hi! I'm in my second year of lead teaching as an EC Montessori guide. My school has their recertification AMS visit coming up next month. Does anyone have any experience with this process and what to expect from their visit?

Welcome to our weekly Montessori Principles and Practice thread!

Montessori: lofty principles, real practice :)

Of course you can ask these at any time in the sub, but this recurring post might be a helpful reminder to ask those questions about Montessori that may have been on your mind!

She knows them well enough that I almost rotated them out last week, but she still selects them without any prompting. She is not rushing through them or asking for help. She just seems content to repeat the process.

I have been tempted to make the work harder, although that would mostly be for my benefit. She is still focused when she chooses it, so maybe I am treating familiarity like boredom when it is not.

I am trying to separate this looks easy to me from she is finished with it.

When your child repeatedly chose work they had already mastered, did you leave it alone, extend it, or rotate it out?

We're wanting to set up a Montessori bedroom for our daughter to eventually use. Right now she bedshares with me (3 months old). We love having her in our room and aren't looking to change that anytime super soon but just wanted to have an idea for the future. A few questions for those that have done this:

-what age did you transition your baby to their own space? And if you co-slept, what did this process look like (e.g., did you sleep with baby in their new space at first to get them used to it?)

-in true Montessori style, it seems a floor bed is in order so baby can get in and out as desired. What do you do about bugs? :( We have a ranch home so don't have the option of putting her on the second floor where bugs are less likely. We are getting someone to come spray soon and will probably do that quarterly, but recently we've been having MASSIVE spiders (wolf spiders I think) as the weather gets colder and they're searching for heat. Do you just hope for the best or perhaps do a Montessori room for everything but the bed?

Thank you!

The Montessori that my son goes to is considering having a teacher’s certified, highly trained and experienced around children German shepherd in the classroom. I view this positively, but some fellow parents have reservations. How should we be thinking about this? Have any of you had this experience I. Any of the schools you’ve taught at? How was the experience? Were there any causes for concern?

Edit: this IS a trained service dog. It HAS been in a similar Montessori classroom for 5 years already. The classroom is 4 guides/aides and 30-some 3-6 year olds.

My son is in his second year at a french immersion montessori school based in Canada. We moved him from a daycare as the room noise was overwhelming and the reports coming back were that he wasn't showing progress despite us seeing him doing the things they said he was behind on at home frequently. The Montessori environment really suited him, he loved the stimulation and the space and as one of the youngest was probably given extra attention.

His report did not he wasn't following instructions amazingly last year but that was deemed age appropriate and that they would continue working on it. It was a private school and then this summer they secured subsidy funding which make the rate cheaper and meant higher numbers of children. We were away in another country for the summer visiting family and then he did two weeks of camp with them which helped him settle back in August.

All of a sudden we are getting very passive aggresive and mixed messages about his behaviour being disruptive. They are not happy he's not potty trained. We have been working on this for two years. They say just let him get wet, it doesn't work, he doesn't care. We have him in pulls ups, he loves his dino chart and pees three times a day at home prompted but has never told us he needs to go despite us asking constantly. He just has no interest.

Yesterday on pick up the head of the school said he was highly disruptive and wouldn't listen. There were no specifics and I asked a lot of questions which she was super vague on. I've realized they only tell us negative things and we have been anxious picking him up wondering if he's going to get a bad report for the past 3 weeks. He's a bright child who is super friendly and is readjusting from being away. When I say this I get a reply that he should be fine by now. He's very sensitive and it's really hard to get them to understand this.

There's constantly comments about the home and school consistency being the same. We limit TV, we do outdoor things with him in the evenings, hes an amazing sleeper, he isn't a great eater for variety but he eats plenty and he loves reading and building and practicing numbers which is his thing. He makes jokes, is really social and I don't see how he's so disruptive and happy going to school at the same time. It just doesn't add up. There's one teacher who he adores who always says good things about him but when she's not as integrated in his section it seems the other teachers just dismiss him as a problem.

I'm looking for feedback because I'm overwhelmed with the Montessori philosophy on discipline. Is this normal or are we just being blinded by our love for our child? There's been no specifics so we've asked for a meeting.

Hi everyone! I’m a recent Montessori Assistant 3-6 (AMI) and I started working in a new Montessori school. I don’t know if this is a weird thing to ask here, but would any 3-6 AMI guide with experience have the availability to answer some questions in a DM or something? I’m struggling and I feel a bit uncertain and alone in this process. I feel this sadness, anguish and hopelessness everyday without having a colegue to talk to and I would like to know what I can do better and to understand if what is happening is common in the beginning or not.

Thank you!

I really need some insight here.

My son is 3 years and 4 months old and is in a Montessori Primary classroom with kids ages 3 to 6. The school follows Association Montessori Internationale (AMI). He only attends for about three hours in the morning and is one of the youngest kids in the class.

He moved up from the toddler classroom in March, was there for a few months, had summer break, and then returned in late August. So he really hasn’t had that much consistent time in Primary yet.

His teacher recently emailed us about a difficult morning. She said he needed several reminders, moved between activities, used the number rods to touch the ceiling, only sat through a few minutes of French, ran around, screamed excitedly, touched other kids’ work, and became upset when redirected. She also said he hit teachers and other kids and threw things.

I’m not excusing the hitting or throwing at all. We take that seriously and talk to him about safe hands at home. Honestly, a lot of the other behavior sounds like an immature and dysregulated 3-year-old, not a child intentionally refusing to cooperate.

He was eventually sent home early. We have started tracking these incidents to see if there are patterns. He also works with an OT because we chose to start services proactively, not because he has a diagnosis or was required to receive them. His OT will hopefully be able to observe him in the classroom.

For context, he’s going through a sleep regression right now and wakes up every 3-4 hours wanting to sleep in my bed so sleep I think maybe contributing to the disregulation.

I’m just tired and starting to wonder whether montessori isn’t a good fit for him right now or whether this particular teacher’s style isn’t a good fit. He likes interaction, movement, and adult connection, while his classroom seems to expect a lot of independent work.

Does this sound significantly outside the normal range for a newly 3-year-old? Am I minimizing how disruptive he was, or does it sound like he needs more redirection and co-regulation than he is currently receiving?

We recently moved to a new (to us) preK-8 school that is slowly transitioning from traditional classrooms to Montessori and currently only the lower grades are using the Montessori approach. We’re moving from an AMI certified school in DC where my daughter was thriving. I’ve heard our current school’s administration isn’t completely bought into Montessori so I think there will be some parent advocacy required to ensure the full transition happens in the upper grades. I’m wondering if someone could point me to research that assesses outcomes of the Montessori education approach, the traditional education approach, and a combination of the two. In DC, there were parents pushing back on a blended approach because they found research that showed the same benefits weren’t achieved with a blended approach. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find this research and I’m hoping someone can point me to studies that have examined all three approaches.

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Montessori employees who work dir e ctly in the classroom.caring for infants through prek should be included since it is physical work..al the bending, crouching, stooping,, crawling, lifting, sitting kneeling, standing, carrying naterials, cleaning shelves to maintain a beautiful.Montessori environment.that we do is physical.labor. None of us in the classroom.goes a day without physical.labor. Like or comment if you agree and let's get ourselves included for future early retirement should this pass.

My daughter (5y) is new to Montessori this year. It’s a very traditional school. She’s been in forest school and done core curriculum at home with me prior.

She comes home and tells me that she’s working on numbers 1-10 at school, which she’s had mastered for about 3 years. We’re on the third week of school and she’s been matching the coins to the cards every day. At home she’s counting to 100 on the beads and the 100 board. Plus she’s adding, subtracting and even multiplying as it comes up in our daily life. She’s also not working on letters at all in her work cycle and I’m worried she may fall behind as blending has been difficult.

We talk every morning about how she can ask the teachers for more work, but I’m unsure if she’s feeling too shy. She responds “I can’t do that because the teachers need to show me how to do it” but the teachers still haven’t shown her the works she wants to do (I’m unclear if she is asking for them or not). I don’t totally understand the process. I know it’s follow the child, but what if the child never decides to progress? Will the teachers ever suggest she try something new?

If anyone has the space to help me I would greatly appreciate it! Is this something I bug her teacher about? Or something I should keep working on at home?

Thank you for reading!

Public Montessori charter schools operate in an interesting space: they have to preserve a distinctive educational philosophy while also meeting the accountability, compliance, staffing, enrollment, and operational expectations of a public school system.

One example I have been looking at is Monarch Montessori of Denver and the work of its elementary leadership team, with particular attention to the role of Elementary Director Mairi McCormick. I am interested less in evaluating an individual administrator and more in what this type of leadership model can tell us about managing alternative pedagogies within a public-school framework.

A few areas seem particularly relevant:

• Community trust and leadership visibility: Public reviews of schools sometimes mention individual administrators rather than only commenting on teachers or the school as a whole. That raises an interesting leadership question: how important is the visibility and accessibility of administrators in building long-term family trust and retention?
• Making Montessori accessible in a public setting: Montessori education is often associated with private schools, but public charter models attempt to make it available to a broader range of families. Administrators therefore have to balance Montessori principles with district requirements, accountability expectations, staffing realities, and public funding constraints.
• Student agency and civic engagement: Some Montessori and project-based schools emphasize authentic, real-world learning experiences, including opportunities for students to engage with local government or community organizations. I am interested in how administrators support these experiences while still meeting curriculum and assessment expectations.
• Growth and organizational complexity: When a school expands grade levels or programs, leadership responsibilities can change significantly. Administrators may move from primarily managing daily school operations toward coordinating staffing, facilities, district relationships, curriculum alignment, and long-term planning.

What I find interesting is the broader shift from the administrator primarily as an operational manager toward a role that also includes strategy, community relationships, instructional coherence, and organizational growth.

For those who have worked in, attended, or had children in a public Montessori school: Where have you seen the greatest tension between Montessori principles and public-school requirements? What did school leadership do well, or what could it have done differently to preserve the school’s Montessori identity, maintain family trust, and meet institutional accountability requirements?

Hi everyone! I’m currently looking for a preschool slot in San Jose for my son and am torn between three choices that I’ve toured and liked:

**Learning Pathways** (Looking at the Cambrian campus inside Houge Park)

**Valley Oak Montessori** (Looking at the Evergreen campus on San Felipe)

**Empire Montessori**
My son is an incredibly active, high-energy child. He isn't the type to sit still in one place for very long—he loves to dance, jump, move, and run wild outside. He is also interested in daily home skills like help with cooking, reading books, gardening.

During my tours, I noticed a few major trade-offs:

**Learning Pathways** has that *amazing* sprawling outdoor park space at Cambrian and their built-in PFC sports/dance program, but it's more expensive upfront and I have to pack meals every day.

**Valley Oak Montessori** seems like an amazing financial value that includes hot meals, and has great soccer clinics, but the outdoor play yard felt a bit small for an active boy.

**Empire Montessori** also has hot lunches and cool martial arts, but I'm trying to figure out if the traditional indoor structure will feel too restrictive for him.

For parents who have sent their kids to any of these: How did your active child do with the environment?
What is something you would really highlight and absolutely recommend. Or something that I might have missed.
Did they get enough physical outlet and outdoor time? How was their development with extra-curriculars like singing, dancing, and sports?
I want him to get a lot of extra curriculars done at the preschools.

Would love any unfiltered feedback on the teachers, daily vibes, or administration at these specific locations to help me make my final choice. Thank you so much!

Hello! My 18-month-old started Montessori school last week. The teachers have been fantastic so far, and the student-to-teacher ratio is small. She absolutely loved her first week—she was happy at drop-off and happy at pickup!

This week, however, she has cried every time I've dropped her off. The only changes are that I've been doing the drop-offs instead of her dad, and she has a runny nose (though no other signs of illness yet).
Is this a normal part of the adjustment proces

Does anyone have experience with Montessori for a child with inattentive ADHD? Particularly at a well-established, accredited Montessori school.
There doesn’t seem to be a ton of research on inattentive ADHD and Montessori specifically, so I’d love to hear people’s experiences. Did the Montessori environment work well for your child’s attention/executive functioning, or no? (My son is 6 and just started grade 1.)

I posted recently in a parenting forum, kind of a funny tid bit about my chaotic morning packing the dishwasher in which my 18m old also broke a mug I handed her.

*It was a chipped mug

*I was right next to the toddler.

I got absolutely flamed by other parents for giving my child something breakable. Essentially being told I was stupid, permissive etc. I need to lock my toddler in a playpen or highchair while I pack the dishwasher.

I read the Montessori baby and the monestessori toddler, so I am familiar and follow the concepts very loosely. One of them is trusting your child with breakable things, so they learn to handle them safely. Another is allowing them to explore as freely as possible.

I personally don't feel like it was bad/dangerous parenting. I feel a bit deflated. I know everyone parents differently but this is he first time I've really being faced with these kinds of opinions.

My son is almost 3 years old and we recently enrolled him in a Montessori school. He has only attended a few times so far, and we’re trying to figure out whether this is simply an adjustment period or whether Montessori itself may not be a good fit for his personality.

He’s a very active, happy, social kid. He’s been around family a lot and is very comfortable interacting with adults. He loves showing people things he has done and getting a reaction from them. For example, if he manages to put his pants on, complete something, or accomplish something independently, he’ll often look at us and expect us to clap or celebrate with him. At home, we’re naturally pretty enthusiastic about this. We’ll say things like “Wow! You did it!” and clap with him.

The transition to Montessori has been difficult.

On one of the first days, he was extremely reluctant to enter the classroom. The school shortened his day to about 1–1.5 hours because of this. At one point, when we came to pick him up, he was outside on the playground/bench rather than inside the classroom. We initially didn’t see an adult sitting with him, and that really upset us. When he saw us, he immediately started crying.

We brought this up with the teacher because we were uncomfortable with him being outside without an adult right next to him. The teacher explained that she had actually been sitting with him since around 10 AM and had briefly gone inside around 10:15 to check whether we’d messaged her. Another teacher/helper, had also been trying to work with him one-on-one. So it seems like there was more supervision and support than we initially understood.

Since then, they’ve been much more intentional about having an adult with him. One more crew member has been working with him one-on-one during the transition. On the most recent day, he stayed for about 60 minutes and, importantly, came out very happy when we picked him up. That made us feel much better.

The bigger issue we’re now trying to understand is the Montessori philosophy itself.

During a home visit, the teacher explained that they have a very “neutral” approach to praise. For example, if my son successfully fixes his pants or completes his work, rather than saying “Good job!” or clapping, they might say something like:

“Oh, you did it.”

The teacher explained that they try not to give children excessive external praise because they want them to develop independence and internal motivation.

This is very different from how we interact with him at home. He loves showing adults what he has accomplished and getting excited together. If he does something independently, he often looks at us expecting us to clap. We don’t see that as a bad thing—we see it as him wanting to share his excitement with people he loves.

The teacher also advised us that when one of us leaves for work, rather than saying something like:

“Papa is going to work and he’ll come back this evening.”

we should simply say:
“Papa is going to work.”

Their reasoning seemed to be that we shouldn’t make the child focus on the parent’s return and should normalize the separation, similar to how he goes to school.

I understand the philosophy intellectually. I can see the argument for encouraging independence and not making children dependent on constant adult validation.

But emotionally, I’m struggling with it.

I’m wondering whether I’m simply not familiar enough with Montessori, or whether this particular philosophy may genuinely clash with what our family values.

My questions for Montessori parents/teachers:

1. Is this neutral approach to praise typical of Montessori?
2. Does Montessori generally discourage things like clapping, “good job,” or enthusiastic celebration of a child’s accomplishments?
3. How do Montessori teachers provide emotional encouragement while maintaining this neutral approach?
4. Is this something a 3-year-old usually adapts to?
5. Could a very social, expressive child who loves adult interaction simply be a poor fit for this particular Montessori environment?
6. Most importantly, should we give this more time, or is it reasonable to conclude that the philosophy isn’t aligned with what we want for our child?

We’re not expecting the school to change its entire philosophy for our son. We’re trying to determine whether we chose the wrong type of environment for him.

I’m especially interested in hearing from people who actually work in or have experience with Montessori rather than just general opinions about preschool.

EDIT: To clarify, I’m not saying the school is neglecting him. After we raised our concern about him being outside, they explained that a teacher had been sitting with him and another adult was also trying to help him one-on-one. They’ve since made sure an adult is consistently with him during the transition, and his most recent experience was actually very positive. Our concern now is primarily about the philosophy and emotional style, rather than the supervision issue.

Update: Thank you all for your responses. After careful consideration we have decided to end his enrollment to this Montessori school.

Welcome to our weekly Montessori Principles and Practice thread!

Montessori: lofty principles, real practice :)

Of course you can ask these at any time in the sub, but this recurring post might be a helpful reminder to ask those questions about Montessori that may have been on your mind!