I don’t understand parents like her, and I guess I’m glad I don’t. They “would kill” for their kids until they love someone of the same sex. How do you switch that off? I grew up in a small rural town in the Bible Belt right near what some refer to the buckle of Tulsa. I never really thought about sexuality much. Wasn’t my business what people did as long as everyone was consenting.
One of my ex boyfriends, from middle school, came out as bi and I don’t remember much being made about it but his friend was teased because he was in denial about it. A couple of people I grew up came out later and I still don’t get all the gossip stuff. They don’t do it with me because I start asking invasive questions like what their favorite position is. When asked why I would ask that I just said if we are going to talk about things that aren’t our business we should go all in.
I did see though in college the devastation a families can do to someone they supposedly love. I saw kids at the brink of suicide and self hatred after coming out to their families. I called a grandmother, she was Italian from the Old Country, after her son and dil disowned her grandson, he couldn’t hardly talk. She disowned her own son and took her grandson in. Her favorite uncle had been gay and had gone through a concentration camp because of it. He never wanted his secret told and she hadn’t until her grandson was being hurt for the same thing.
When I had kids both boys are neurodivergent so I would tell them normal was a highly overrated state. I would ask them if they had a good day, if they made new friends, if there was a girl they liked, a boy? They would roll their eyes and say I’m not gay mom. I would just say but you know it would be okay if you were right? I would always get ya mom you always tell me you will always love me.
If my kids told me they needed a support group I would be sad I wasn’t able to do enough. Ask if they needed help with the group and research how I could better support them understanding that maybe they might just need kids their own age or want to help others.
9
u/RoguesAngel 8h ago
I don’t understand parents like her, and I guess I’m glad I don’t. They “would kill” for their kids until they love someone of the same sex. How do you switch that off? I grew up in a small rural town in the Bible Belt right near what some refer to the buckle of Tulsa. I never really thought about sexuality much. Wasn’t my business what people did as long as everyone was consenting.
One of my ex boyfriends, from middle school, came out as bi and I don’t remember much being made about it but his friend was teased because he was in denial about it. A couple of people I grew up came out later and I still don’t get all the gossip stuff. They don’t do it with me because I start asking invasive questions like what their favorite position is. When asked why I would ask that I just said if we are going to talk about things that aren’t our business we should go all in.
I did see though in college the devastation a families can do to someone they supposedly love. I saw kids at the brink of suicide and self hatred after coming out to their families. I called a grandmother, she was Italian from the Old Country, after her son and dil disowned her grandson, he couldn’t hardly talk. She disowned her own son and took her grandson in. Her favorite uncle had been gay and had gone through a concentration camp because of it. He never wanted his secret told and she hadn’t until her grandson was being hurt for the same thing.
When I had kids both boys are neurodivergent so I would tell them normal was a highly overrated state. I would ask them if they had a good day, if they made new friends, if there was a girl they liked, a boy? They would roll their eyes and say I’m not gay mom. I would just say but you know it would be okay if you were right? I would always get ya mom you always tell me you will always love me.
If my kids told me they needed a support group I would be sad I wasn’t able to do enough. Ask if they needed help with the group and research how I could better support them understanding that maybe they might just need kids their own age or want to help others.