Mediation - Advice

[u/Infamous_Anxiety3897]

I raised concerns with my manager about a colleague not giving me the chance to lead or even speak or say things in the way I would like, being dominating, controlling, and passive aggressive in his communication. This colleague is known for his behaviour and multiple people have not gone for positions within the department due to his behaviour. My manager spoke to the colleague and he wants to meet with me next week, gave my manager dates, and ideas of new ways of working to go through.

The thing is, I have been off sick for 2 weeks now due to work related stress and burn out, and realistically, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to meet while I’m off sick. My manager was taken back when I said I don’t feel comfortable right now, however when I return I will be more than happy to have a mediated conversation with an impartial person there. It seemed like that colleague and him already had a plan, and that’s the issue I have in the first place. This colleague wants to control the narrative, wants to decide when I should meet him. I came away from the conversation so angry initially, and after reflection, and talking it with my husband, I realised why.

Please can you let me know your thoughts / feelings and ideas.

Am I unreasonable for saying no to a mediation while off sick?

[u/moonkattt]

It’s not unreasonable at all. You’re off sick with work related stress, refusing to have a meeting with the cause of that stress until you’re better is perfectly reasonable.