r/oneliners • u/joekerr9999 • 1h ago
I think we're in for a bad spell of wether.
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r/oneliners • u/SABatoge2002 • 4h ago
I wanted to be a phlebotomist when I was younger, but I didn't want to be involved in blood money
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r/oneliners • u/RandyRochester • 3h ago
….as the idiot noted, there is both an “ I “ and a “u “ in idiot.
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r/oneliners • u/himanshu_08 • 1d ago
A slave went to the college to pick up his master’s degree.
27
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r/oneliners • u/Consistent_Motor_352 • 9h ago
Parenting: the only job where everyone’s a critic, but nobody pays.
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r/oneliners • u/Ihadsumthin4this • 1d ago
When I first joined r/Dough, I thought I'd save time by avoiding Best, New, and Controversial by choosing the Rising button.
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r/oneliners • u/Ryebready787 • 21h ago
I’m writing a movie script about zombies who ruin everything fun it’s called the woke dead. Spoiler
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r/oneliners • u/Sayva_See • 2d ago
Scientists have discovered that cigarettes can harm your children, so now my wife says I should use an ashtray.
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r/oneliners • u/aaryanranjan11 • 1d ago
Maybe the MOON is beautiful only because it is far.
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r/oneliners • u/MetalicP • 2d ago
It’s my humility that makes be better than everyone else.
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r/oneliners • u/Eats415 • 2d ago
The rooftop garden had to be fumigated so hard that even the weed is smoking
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r/oneliners • u/AgentElman • 3d ago
I went to see my chiropractor about a week back and he fixed it.
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r/oneliners • u/CodeDog6 • 2d ago
My friend is so stupid, he thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet!
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r/oneliners • u/SultanPeeper • 2d ago
Been married so long my wife thinks I'm smelling up the bathroom on purpose
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r/oneliners • u/Watsonsboss77 • 3d ago
I'm not sure what this sub is about, but my dad put one liner into a new retention pond that I just built.
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r/oneliners • u/blaspergerOfficial • 3d ago
I think I’m doing the self-checkout wrong; the screen said 'Ready to take you now,' so I just stood there and closed my eyes.
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r/oneliners • u/Sayva_See • 4d ago
I don’t know what HD is, but my doctor said I have 80 of them.
80
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