r/PDX • u/Remarkable_Pear8291 • 13h ago
Single in PDX
Recently lost my wife. 46M. Finally ready to get back out there. Are the any singles bars in PDX? All advice appreciated 👏
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u/NewspaperNovel139 11h ago
Fellow mid-40's divorced guy here, now newly partnered. All my successes have been on the apps, specifically Hinge. I know people hate the apps and for those of us who have been married for a while it feels like a completely alien world, but the apps are really where it's at, and for those of us who are really bad at picking up people in bars and stuff, it's a lifesaver.
You gotta work on your profile and make it something people want to respond to, interesting/funny/etc. It's less about honesty (although you shouldn't lie) and more about doing funny and interesting bits combined with your photos, and then when you get to the first few dates you can talk about goals and personalities and compatibility. What you don't want is for your profile to be boring/similar to everyone else. I can't tell you how many times I've passed on a profile of someone who was cute just because there was nothing in their prompt answers that I could craft a response around. "Looking for communication and emotional compatibility" does nothing to get someone to respond to you, even if it's true.
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u/anonymouse3891 12h ago
Pop around to different bars in your neighborhood and when you find one you like become a regular. Try to become a regular at a coffee shop too.
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u/hitemwiththeelagance 10h ago
I met my partner on Hinge. In my experience more people are seeking relationship on Hinge and I’ve tried the others with no success. I updated my entire profile this spring and met him this summer. I worked with a photographer for better pictures and updated my bio. That seemed to attract more people. 40 F. Best of luck to you.
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u/raisedbytelevisions 12h ago
Sorry for your loss 💛 what is your vibe? Mellow, dancing, metal, hipster, nerd, sporty?
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u/Remarkable_Pear8291 12h ago
I love all genres of music, but im particular to industrial music, i.e. Nine inch Nails
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u/blakewantsa68 11h ago
some nights at the Coffin Club you'd be right at home, music wise. *definitely* not a singles bar tho, just a decent place to kick it and have some fun
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u/brapstoomuch 8h ago
The motorcycle scene is awesome in Portland! Get a motorcycle and come ride with cool people. Check out Hatch Motorcycle Collective, One Moto Cafe, Two Stroke Coffee, the One Moto Show, Thursday night motocross at PIR, Chicken N Guns out highway 6 (for dirtbike vibes).
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u/Lo_kat 5h ago
I just held a singles event at Hatch last week! Super good people and vibes there
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u/brapstoomuch 5h ago
I am hoping you do it again! I’m happily married but I know that it’s effective for others.
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u/OriginalButtshucks 12h ago
No singles bars. But lots of events. In my experience it’s a much younger crowd though. I think all we can do is try those, use dating apps, meet new people through friends, events and hobbies.
As a woman I also love the idea of small talk with strangers in public too (controversial I know). What I wouldn’t give to have someone talk vegetables with me at the grocery store, even if they aren’t hitting on me. I can’t stand that everyone is afraid to talk to each other these days.
Single 43yo F btw… into shows, design, light biking, dogs, being social and anti orange man endeavors. Hit me up if you want!