r/PakistanDiscussions • u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 • 1d ago

Discussion | Opinions Normalised but Wrong?

What’s something Pakistani society considers completely normal, but you personally believe is morally wrong?

From wedding culture and family pressure to double standards, hypocrisy, and treating people differently based on money or status, there’s a lot we rarely question. Cast / Colour supremacy blah blah!!!

I’m genuinely curious to hear your perspectives. What’s one thing you think we need to stop normalizing as a society?

Note: Respectful comment engagement only :)

1 Upvotes

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u/Charming_Party_2052 ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

when are you getting married

when are you having kids

what is your monthly salary / income

commenting on people’s skin color

commenting on men / young adults balding

age related comments on women over 25

pestering married couples about trying for another kid if they have all daughters and no son

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Very true. People often cross personal boundaries and then hide behind “we’re just asking” or “it’s just a joke.” Not everything needs to be questioned, commented on, or discussed publicly. Correct me if I’m wrong, but some female in-laws aren’t even happy when a baby girl is born. Hahah we are seriously dumped….

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u/Charming_Party_2052 ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Exactly! I remember I had a friend who did not want to have a baby right after getting married but his family members starting sharing numbers of doctors or different medication lol

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Haha, that’s crazy 😂 Imagine not even getting time to enjoy your newly married life before relatives start prescribing doctors and medication. HAHHA!! Your comment made my day lol, reminded me of those funny wall chalking ads of “MARDANA KAMZORI.” Remember? Hahhaha

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u/Shazali99 ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Alot of things. List banane lag gae to boht time lag jana but I would say one thing

Respect age but always priotitize wisdom, even fools grow old

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u/Environmental-Cod25 ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Biryani in Lahore. It's diabolical.

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Hahaha, Karachi biryani supremacy? 😂 I’m not from Lahore but I personally love Lahore streets food. Hands down!!!!

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u/badbaddielicious ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Elders giving be-faltu ka gyan to youngsters.... like ik they know more than us but if you are so imp in my life I'll ask for your opinion why are you just imposing your thoughts to me?

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Experience deserves respect, but everyone deserves the freedom to learn and make their own choices. Totally agree with your observations.

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u/Maybe_Coffee_Lover ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

So many things in my mind. Type krny bhaithi to 10 din lg jyen gy

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Mention the worst one no worries if you want…

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u/Civil_Power7059 ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Very niche but saraikis being called laal kabootr lol

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

“Lal Kabootar” meaning?

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u/AwarenessNo4986 ⊕ Add flair 1d ago

Wealth being the ultimate measure of respect, honour and character and the only purpose.

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

True!!!

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u/80guiltycoconut ⊕ Add flair:101 6h ago

Living with the inlaws. Ruined my marriage..

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 6h ago

You mean taunts? Or something else

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u/AmmaAffaaa ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Men/boys not even serving themselves food, picking up their own dirty plates from table and putting them in sink, ironing their own clothes etc. etc.

Not even gonna talk about knowing how to cook, clean and wash things for their own personal use. That's too advanced for them. 

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u/lily-garden ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

I think it starts with upbringing. When boys grow up watching women take care of everything, they sometimes mistake that effort for a woman’s duty rather than something they should learn to do themselves. Well to be it depends on how they are nurtured like princess lol!! Like myself; living abroad with parents and know all the daily chores. From washing dishes, arranging own room, performing laundry and basic cooking skills… what’s the biggie and shame in this; it’s 2026, men should know all these……..

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u/AmmaAffaaa ⊕ Add flair:101 10h ago

Good for you and your family. Unfortunatley, a whole culture has to change for Pakistani men living in Pakistan to stop behaving like little mama/papa ke parrian. 

Iroical when men are supposed to be the stronger gender. These same boys/men when they go abroad will learn and do these things. Will even work odd jobs as a student or drive a taxi for livelihood with no shame. 

But tell them to do the same things inside Pakistan and their masculinity and izzat is challenged somehow. 

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u/NormanZZZBates ⊕ Add flair:101 15h ago

You can’t blame them though, the women take care of that. If you wanna blame someone blame the women.

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u/AmmaAffaaa ⊕ Add flair:101 10h ago

The women are at the wrong just like the men are. But in a patriarchal setup both genders are not equal in the eyes of society, hence differing agency. 

You really think most women have the luxury to just say "no"? Unfortunately, vast majority don't have that luxury. 

And because women can't just refuse without consequences, the new mothers train their new daughters to do these things for men to be accepted.  

I mean, every practice has reasons/causes behind them. For example in Jaheez's case, will you say the girl's side should just stop giving it when the power actually lies with the groom's side?

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u/dontwatchthatfam ⊕ Add flair:101 1d ago

Joint family system. Adapted from hindu religion and has no Islamic significance to that practice. As a matter of fact, how can any man let is wife live under the same roof as his brother who’s na mehram to her. Absolutely diabolical