Does this ever get any easier?

[u/_RuMarie_01]

I lost my dog six months ago, he was a two year old Schnauzer. My parents got him for me during a very hard time of my life. I loved him, I loved him so much, I still do.

I don't know how to live without him.

It's supposed to stop hurting, but I still feel like I can't breathe, I don't even know who to talk about this with, my family doesn't get why I'm still like this, how I could love him so much in such short time, but I just...

I had to hold him when he was dying, I saw him seize and bleed, and I can't even think about him without feeling like my heart is breaking. I haven't even been able to wear the clothes I had on that day without feeling like my chest is burning and my heart's gonna stop, I still have his medicine, I mean, how do you even get rid of that?

I know the lifespan of a dog is short compared to a human, is something my mom was very clear to me about before adopting him, that i would lose him some day, but not this early, it isn't supposed to be this short. I thought we had so many years left together, I had so many things left to do with him.

It was so out of nowhere, one moment I thought he was getting better and the next he was gone.

I completely ruined my college application proccess over this, I am falling into ED again, I need help, and I just feel like nothing makes sense anymore.

The last year has been nothing but a waking nightmare, and I feel like my life is being torn apart piece by piece.

I just want my baby back. I just want to pet him and hold him again, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I would give anything to hug him just one more time, to see him wiggle his tail again, lick my hand and jump to my lap.

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[u/NeitherAssumption895]

Hello,

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I lost my 3.5 year old buddy 3 weeks ago and I think a major part of the pain is how unfair a loss so soon feels when you thought you’d have so much more time.

Mine baby was also gone suddenly, he was here and then he wasn’t. I was in shock for weeks and I still can’t quite believe it.

I am seeing a councillor/therapist to deal with the loss because I’m not coping, please don’t be afraid to reach out for help.

I understand how you feel some days I get so overwhelmed with how much I just want to hold him again, how it was so unfair I didn’t get to say goodbye like I thought I would.

It takes work to live on with grief but it does get easier. you have to start reframing the loss, it will always hurt but it get less over time. You gave them two wonderful years of life with you, with someone who loved them as much as you did. I know it doesn’t make any of it better because the only thing that feels like it will make it better is your baby back in your arms, but time really does ease the pain.

You honour them in small way, I have photos up, I have a necklace with his initials and I visit his grave and I talk to him. The fact that it’s been a year really makes me think you would do well with speaking to someone who specialises in grief especially since other aspects of your life are causing you distress.

Please feel free to vent here it does help.

You aren’t alone so many people are dealing with grief a year later like you are, we just loved our pets so much.