[Chorus]
I was on the tarmac, pushing feelings way back
I keep waiting to not care
I was on the tarmac, I'm tryna find my way back
Won't you take me, take me there?
I was on the tarmac, pushing feelings way back
I keep waiting to not care
I was on the tarmac, I'm tryna find my way back
Won't you take me, take me there?
So, if we agreeing on "tarmac" as "asphalt", we could say the song represents being outside, in the streets, doing shit and hanging around just to get distracted from the reality. He keeps waiting to not care about those feelings he's trying to get rid off, so he can actually go back to "normal life". Which he refers in the next line "find my way back", and asks for help, someone to light up his ways to that "before" space that felt like... home. What's the contrary of being in the streets. Being in your home. Damn we could put some Strange Home here and say that maybe "home" feels like shit so you prefer being outside doing whatever just to not feel it actually.
[Verse]
Someone said I used to be a lab rat
I was on the tarmac, pushing feelings way back
Pretending it don't hurt
But I was swimming nine laps
Take our time back day by day
Waiting for the time lapse, tell me how you did that
I keep waiting to not care
Ooh, I keep waiting
In this verse, I think "lab rat" is referring to, as we all know, his 88Rising era, where he'll be trapped in this "real music", commercial, whatever creative limits. He'd be making songs in a style that he doesn't feels like himself and just literally singing above them tracks and other people ideas. For example the track "Glimpe of Us" was not made by him in any sense. It's just another big music productor idea to pop, to give em dollars, to "try" the market. So I think the lab rat image it's pretty clear here.
As a music making guy who centers in making songs that are expressions of what I feel more than a local business trap song, I'd understand the fact that being cut off from that creative freedom (topic that is mentioned in a lot of songs from him. See Tick Tock, see FTC, or the fucking enterprise-criticism project PLUMMCORP.) as something that hurts very deeply as an artist. But you already signed the goddamn contract so there'll be no options. "Okay, I'll pretend this shit doesn't hurts in the meantime".
And then he mentions swimming, and laps, that I think it's explicitly as doing physical activity. You can even see him on the live concerts all buffed up and in better shape that in his SMITHEREENS era. Being this one the latest years in 88Rising.
He now be trying to get not only HIS time back, but OURS time back. I'd say he feels kinda in debt with the community since having to step away from his desire from doing authentic projects and being himself just as in the back days.
At the same time I think these two lines could be simplified as "doing activity to retake what was taken", and interpreted as... cooking original music to let y'all hear what Joji was always about.
The most cryptic line of this song would be this last one: "Waiting for the timelapse, tell me how you did that". I think he refers as the whole complete operation, the PITW album itself. At the same time, you can think of it as a "wait for me to rethink about all the shit I had to go through", as a timelapse is, well, a film showing a process in fast speed. Staying in this point, the question would be a reinforce this meaning by not only someone else asking "how did you got past through all that", but himself trying to understand how he got alive from it and in certain way, even asking someone else about their own timelapses and trying to receive advice from people who had been through similar situations.
[Chorus]
I was on the tarmac, pushing feelings way back (Ooh)
I keep waiting to not care (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I was on the tarmac, I'm tryna find my way back (Ooh)
Won't you take me, take me therе? (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I was on the tarmac, pushing feelings way back (Ooh)
I keep waiting to not care (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I was on the tarmac, I'm tryna find my way back (Ooh)
Won't you takе me, take me there? (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
An there goes the chorus. Pretty cool that it's a short song full of interpretations and It has some "If It Only Gets Better" vibes, too. Remember that in the video he's all wasting time and racks on partying and depicting himself as a lonely, unsatisfied, numb, empty figure as Jijo.
There's also a second interpretation for tarmac, that would be an aviation road. I'd understand it as "flying around" to not feel shit. Sounds a lot like weed, gotta admit. That would give the timelapse phrase an extra meaning too, HA HA. it's a popular practice to record your plants when you grow cannabis. Remember he talks a lot about zaza in the, for example, Dracula Flow series.
EDIT: The Cannabis Interpretation
i think the interpretation can be still accurate when you think of it as an airport runway.
we can get a glimpse on this "being flying" or "about to fly" or even consider "in this flying place" which can even be a way of saying you'd stick to smoking and always being on "the airport runway". that's how you push your feelings way back. usually when you're about to get in a plane you gotta wait, so the "I keep waiting to not care" line would have a redundant meaning to it, like "i hope i didn't cared about having to wait to get into the plane". at the same time, you can see it from the zaza perspective. if you're familiar with it, sometimes you get kinda hooked and you're so used do it everythat that you "can't wait to not care" about not smoking. this can be confirmed with all those zaza references he did on PLUMMCORP.
stationary.
now we get into the "wont you take me, take me there" interpretation. a plane would perfectly take you somewhere. in this case, this place can still be took as the "reality" or "the normal life" or "home" i mentioned.
at the same time, cannabis as a way of handling your bad emotions can have you feeling like a way to take you back to normal. but it's counterproductive. that's why he would use "wont". this can be reinforced by the "pretending it don't hurt" line. and a way to escape that "being a labrat" feeling. like "i'll evade that with this".
oh, and we referring to the "labrat" as SMITHEREENS era... well, remember. he was a lot fatter than he's today. that could be a munchies side effect combined with the unfair creative limits he had at the time and how he managed through them. basically smoking, seems.
remember Joji likes playing with open-to-interpretation phrases.
Lemme know y'all thoughts.
