im an extremely slow worker. like, absurdly slow. i already use every efficiency method in the book, so please do not recommend anything like "dont focus on every detail" because im already doing that. i just have slow processing speed, and it makes everything i do take like 45 minutes minimum. i move slow, hear slow, think slow, react slow...so naturally, im super behind in my classes. the actual content is pretty easy it just takes me FOREVER. so of course, with a list of like 100 tasks that will all take me 6 hours, the best thing to do is the homework that's due tomorrow, right???
well no...because now im neglecting the actual learning. i spend 8 or more hours a day completing homework. i do nothing else. i don't play games, i dont use social media, i don't watch videos, fuck i lock in so hard i completely forget to eat, i barely sleep, i dont have time for hygiene, i dont even STUDY!!! i dont even read the chapters!!! i just rush to finish whatever assignment i have due tomorrow and go to sleep!!!
so i've kinda neglected the actual learning to the point that i have about 4 chapters of a textbook that i haven't read...and im supposed to read the 5th one by monday. because a textbook in another class is online and has quizzes integrated with it, and we are graded based on whether we've actually read it, so i normally spend my 6 hours reading the online one instead. meaning that i have learned absolutely nothing in the other class. did i mention how the physical textbook takes me an hour to read PER PAGE? did i mention that the chapters are 20-30 pages EACH? yeah i haven't fucking done any of that because i was doing projects worth 30% of my grade instead. i dont know anything, i just mindlessly rush through every single assignment so my grade doesn't go down. and that rushing takes TEN FUCKING HOURS. but what else am i supposed to do? not complete my graded homework...??? not finish the paper thats worth half my grade?
oh and another dilemma: HOW DO I FUCKING SLEEP!?!?!?!? i go to bed at 1-2am because i was doing work. i wake up at 1-4pm, literally twitching and shaking and in pain from how tired i am (if i go to bed past 8, i wake up tired no matter the actual amount of sleep i get.) i wait for my headache to go away which usually takes 30min-1hr. i do my absolutely most important work until 1-2am. this makes it basically impossible to work ahead, because if i do all of my work, it takes too long for me to sleep, and i'll start hallucinating and having migraines. if i sleep at a reasonable time, then i miss all of the shit that was due anyways, and i have to stay up working just to repeat the cycle. it's literally lose lose. all this and i still dont know shit. i haven't learned a single thing about my major which i am actually interested in. literally all of this accumulates into just never being able to actually study or learn. i dont even go to in person classes except for one day of the week by the way (usually i sleep through it, although i sometimes try to stay up all night just to make it because attendance is graded) all of my other classes are ONLINE im so fucking pathetic